Florida Thread: Fucked Up Shit from America's Wang

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Research is the key in The Game Of All Games (http://www.stiffs.com), and information is precious. Therefore, DO NOT blurt out anything you may have heard about a celebrity's health, or even the fact that a famous person is really old, UNLESS that info has appeared on stiffs.com's SickTicker, OR, you have seen or heard it yourself on CNN, ABC, CBS, MSNBC, Fox, AND the Drudge Report. When in doubt, shut the fuck up.

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Re: Florida Thread: Fucked Up Shit from America's Wang

Postby ScottLevison » Thu Jan 26, 2012 4:56 pm

Boomshadow wrote:
ScottLevison wrote:
googuse wrote:http://www.thesmokinggun.com/file/mom-having-sex?page=0

Apparently believing that Christians don't have sex, a 15 year old Florida teenager called 911 when she overheard her mother having sex with her boyfriend, according to a police report.  The mother said the bedrooms were next to one another and she did not intend to wake her daughter up.
The scene devolved into a verbal altercation between the mother and daughter, and when the police arrived, the girl demanded to be taken to a Christian children's shelter even though the girl freely admitted her mother was not abusing her–the teen claimed her mother was "disrespecting" her.   The girl eventually changed her mind about going to the Christian shelter.



Good thing this isn't Dennis Baxley's district...

viewtopic.php?f=3&t=13&start=250#p24535


Hell, I had to check that it wasn't east Hillsborough.


Or my town in Pinellas County.
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Re: Florida Thread: Fucked Up Shit from America's Wang

Postby ScottLevison » Sun Jan 29, 2012 3:20 pm

http://www.tampabay.com/news/publicsafe ... et/1212681

Discovery of dead woman in storage unit unearths family's secret

By Drew Harwell, Times Staff Writer
In Print: Saturday, January 28, 2012

CLEARWATER — When Ann Bunch, a 95-year-old grandmother, died in her nursing home after three heart attacks and a paralyzing stroke, her family took her to a funeral home to prepare her for burial.

Her grandson-in-law built a coffin-like plywood trunk, domed to allow for her dowager's hump. Her family painted it blue, her favorite color.

The family readied a Ford Econoline van for the nine-hour drive to Coloumbiana, Ala., where Bunch, born on New Year's Day 1900, was to be buried alongside her ancestors.

But on Thursday, 17 years later, police peered into a Clearwater U-Stor Self Storage unit stuffed with trash bags and old TVs and found a long blue box. Inside were Bunch's skeletal remains.

The story of what happened — of why Bunch's body was left to decompose in a hot brick storage unit just a short walk from an elementary school — begins with Bunch's granddaughter, Rebecca Ann Fancher.

Fancher, 54, of Clearwater said Friday she learned of Bunch's resting place from her mother last year as she was dying from Stage 4 breast cancer. Bobbie Barnett Hancock told her daughter she had been stopped from burying Bunch by rainstorms and a dysfunctional truck, Fancher said.

Embarrassed and distraught, Hancock stored Bunch in one of the family's storage units, a horrifying secret she kept until she was on her deathbed.

It all unraveled, Fancher said, when U-Stor managers demanding late rent told her they would auction the contents of Unit B8.

"You can't," Fancher recalled telling them. "So far as I know, my grandmother's in one of those units."

Police recovered Bunch's body and found nothing else suspicious, seemingly moving past the revelation of a burial gone horribly wrong.

But Fancher's ex-husband, John Setlow, who built Bunch's casket and now cares for his and Fancher's teenage son, said the story is darker than Fancher admits: Rooted in hoarding, driven by compulsion, the family kept Bunch where they could see her — even as she rotted away.

"Bobbie had trouble facing the fact that her mother was gone," Setlow said of his ex-mother-in-law. "They just couldn't part with her."

• • •

Bobbie Hancock was born on Christmas Day 1929, two months after the stock market crash that led to the Great Depression. Fancher said her mother lived a hardscrabble life in rural Alabama; as a girl, Hancock contracted rickets, a disease resulting from malnutrition.

As Hancock aged, she developed an irresistible urge to buy, find and keep things. She became a hoarder. It was her safeguard, Fancher said, against haunting memories of extreme poverty.

"She felt a compulsion to rescue and rehabilitate anything and everything that can be used," Fancher said. "She couldn't stand things being wasted."

Fancher, Hancock's only child, spent much of her life as her mother's caretaker, and together they contributed to the swelling piles swallowing their home on Alton Drive. In 1985, they rented their first of three units at the U-Stor on Lakeview Road, returning often to fill and refill.

After Bunch died in 1995, Fancher said, she never questioned why there was no funeral for her grandmother. Her mother, she said, told her "she would take care of it."

Nor, Fancher said, did she see the 6-foot-long box on her regular trips to the 10-by-10-foot unit at U-Stor. It was only last August, she said, that her mother admitted she had hired a day laborer in 1995 to, in Hancock's words, "help her move a big blue box."

• • •

Setlow, Fancher's ex-husband, remembers it differently. He remembers Bunch's body sitting at Tampa's Swilley Funeral Home for six months before Hancock loaded the blue box into her '65 Chevy pickup to take it home.

Setlow remembers his son, Morgan Barnett, living in the squalor of Hancock and Fancher's home as a boy. One room was kept constantly closed, and Barnett wonders now whether the room ever stored Bunch's body.

Now 19, Barnett struggles with rage at his mother's compulsion, Setlow said. Though he hasn't lived with Fancher for 14 years, Setlow still helps her scrap and recycle the junk in her home.

In 2010, county officials declared Hancock and Fancher's home uninhabitable. Inside they found ceiling-high trash, cockroach and spider infestations, 19 dogs and cats and a pungent stench of urine. One official told the Times it was "one of the worst houses we have ever gone into."

"Bobbie was a Class A hoarder," Setlow said, "and her daughter was brought up the same way. She didn't know any other way."

On Friday afternoon Setlow visited Fancher to tell her Bunch's body was at the Largo chapel of A Life Tribute, which handles the county's indigent cremations. As they talked, Fancher stood in her driveway near a blue Chevy Cavalier piled to the windows with old newspapers.

"I was doing what momma told me she wanted done," Fancher told him. Then she switched subjects to her storage units. "I hope they didn't break anything."

Bunch didn't want to be cremated, Fancher said, and her mother honored that wish the best she could. Letting Bunch burn now would be a terrible embarrassment, Fancher said — her mother will look down from heaven and find her a failure.

"She felt driven to do as her momma wanted. . . . We all want to do what our parents expect of us," Fancher said. Of Bunch, she added, "She wants to go home. I want to take her home."

Just how Fancher could pay for that is a mystery. She hasn't paid for the three U-Stor units, which cost about $319 a month, and her only income is from scrapping. She said she will start a new telemarketing job on Monday, her first real job since she worked as a "scareactor" at Busch Gardens' "Howl-O-Scream" in 2003.

Bunch's body, still in the handmade coffin, is awaiting its final destination. If Fancher can't pay for a burial, A Life Tribute will incinerate her remains.

Without ceremony, Bunch's ashes would be funneled into a clear bag, then placed in a white cardboard box. Then, within 120 days, a boat would sail three miles west, into the sunset, and her ashes would be scattered in the gulf.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Would've been a good episode of Storage Wars
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Re: Florida Thread: Fucked Up Shit from America's Wang

Postby ScottLevison » Thu Feb 02, 2012 3:54 am

http://www.palmbeachpost.com/news/polo- ... 38913.html

Polo club founder Goodman adopts his adult girlfriend

By JASON SCHULTZ
Palm Beach Post Staff Writer


Polo club founder John Goodman has adopted his longtime adult girlfriend as his legal daughter in what plaintiff's attorneys are calling an attempt to shield assets from a civil suit filed by the parents of a Wellington man killed in a car crash.

"The events which serve as the grounds for the relief sought by the Plaintiffs border on the surreal and take the Court into a legal twilight zone," wrote Circuit Judge Glenn Kelley in an order granting attorneys for Lili and William Wilson the right to information concerning Goodman's adoption.

Goodman, who founded the International Polo Club Palm Beach in Wellington, legally adopted 42-year-old Heather Laruso Hutchins, as his daughter on Oct. 13 in Miami-Dade County, according to court documents.

The Wilsons are suing Goodman for wrongful death in connection with the Feb. 12, 2010 crash that killed 23-year-old Scott Patrick Wilson. According to Palm Beach County Sheriff's reports, Goodman ran a stop sign on 120th Avenue on Feb. 12, 2010 and hit Wilson, who was driving west on Lake Worth Road. The civil trial is set for March 27.

Kelley had previously ruled that the trust set up for Goodman's two minor children could not be considered as part of Goodman's financial worth if a jury awarded damages to the Wilsons. According to the adoption papers, Hutchins is immediately entitled to at least a third of the trust's assets as his legal daughter since she is over the age of 35.

In a deposition taken in the lawsuit last May, Hutchins told attorneys she started dating Goodman in 2009.

William Wilson's attorney, Scott Smith, said Goodman benefits from the trust and is using it to try to shield assets. The attorney for Lili Wilson, Chris Searcy, argued in a motion that by adopting Hutchins, Goodman can now direct her to remove up to a third of the trust.

"By way of this adoption, John Goodman now effectively owns one third of the trust assets," Smith said. "It cannot go unrecognized that he chose to adopt his 42-year-old adult girlfriend as opposed to a needy child."

Dan Bachi, Goodman's civil attorney, said Hutchins' adoption was done to ensure the future stability of his children and family investments.

"It has nothing to do with the lawsuit currently pending against him," Bachi said.

Kelley called Goodman's tactic of adopting his girlfriend "unprecedented."

"The Court cannot ignore reality or the practical impact of what Mr. Goodman has now done," Kelley wrote. "The Defendant has effectively diverted a significant portion of the assets of the children's trust to a person with whom he is intimately involved at a time when his personal assets are largely at risk in this case."

Tests taken several hours after the crash revealed Goodman had a blood alcohol level of more than twice the legal limit to drive in Florida. He faces a criminal trial on March 6 on charges of DUI manslaughter, vehicular homicide and leaving the scene of a crash and could face up to 30 years in prison.
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Re: Florida Thread: Fucked Up Shit from America's Wang

Postby Rev. Jedi highlander » Thu Feb 02, 2012 11:15 am

Gotta worry when real life rich people are stealing plotlines from Samurai Sentai Shinkenger.
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Re: Florida Thread: Fucked Up Shit from America's Wang

Postby ScottLevison » Thu Feb 09, 2012 12:56 pm

http://www.sun-sentinel.com/news/local/ ... 7444.story

Flowers, dinner, bowling -- and counseling -- ordered by Broward judge in domestic case


By Danielle A. Alvarez, Sun Sentinel

4:34 p.m. EST, February 7, 2012

FORT LAUDERDALE — A marital spat that began when a Plantation man didn’t wish his wife a happy birthday and then escalated into a domestic violence charge, resulted in an unusual bond court ruling by a perceptive judge.
Instead of setting bond or keeping Joseph Bray locked up, he ordered him to treat his spouse to dinner, a bowling date and then to undergo marriage counseling.

“He’s going to stop by somewhere and he’s going to get some flowers,” Judge John “Jay” Hurley said during the first appearance hearing. “And then he’s going to go home, pick up his wife, get dressed, take her to Red Lobster. And then after they have Red Lobster, they’re going to go bowling.”

Hurley emphasized that he would not have ordered such whimsical conditions for Bray, 47, if his domestic violence charge was more serious, or if his wife appeared to be injured or in danger of being harmed.

“It was a minor incident, in the court’s opinion,” he said. “The court would not normally do that if the court felt there was some violence but this is very, very minor and the court felt that that was a better resolution than other alternatives.”

Reading from an arrest affidavit, Hurley said Bray pushed his wife onto their couch and put his hand on her neck. He held up his fist to hit her, but never struck her, Hurley said.

A woman who identified herself as Bray’s wife attended the hearing and explained that the couple’s argument started on Monday after her husband didn’t acknowledge her birthday.

Hurley asked her is she was hurt or in any fear of her husband. After she said she wasn’t, and Hurley confirmed that Bray had no prior arrests, the judge continued his questioning with a lighter tone.

“Do you have something you like to go to?” he asked. “Is there a restaurant you like to go to?”

The woman answered that she enjoyed bowling and eating at Red Lobster. And so the judge made his decision accordingly.

“Flowers, birthday card, Red Lobster, bowling,” Hurley said. He also ordered that the couple begin seeing a marriage counselor within a week.
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Re: Florida Thread: Fucked Up Shit from America's Wang

Postby ScottLevison » Thu Feb 23, 2012 3:46 pm

http://www.news-press.com/article/20120 ... ll|text||p

Man accused of masturbating in public arrested on Bonita Beach

11:19 AM, Feb. 22, 2012


A man accused of frequently masturbating in public was nabbed on Bonita Beach following a long investigation.


Miguel Angel Rivera Flores had been wanted after the Lee County Sheriff’s Office received numerous complaints about a male who would attract female beachgoers by making animal noises in the bushes.


Once Rivera Flores had their attention, he would step out from the cover and masturbate in front of them. He was charged with loitering.


Investigators caught up with the man after a complaint about a male in the bushes near beach access 6. When deputies arrived, they made contact with the victim, who provided a very detailed description of the suspect.


Minutes later, deputies saw a man matching the description provided riding a bike away from the crime scene. They followed him to a secluded area near where other incidents were reported.


Further investigation revealed that the suspect had been caught masturbating near the women’s showers by Lee County Parks & Recreation. Footprints in the dirt path where Rivera Flores was apprehended matched footprints found near the crime scene, investigators said.


Flores was booked on Monday and released Tuesday.

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Re: Florida Thread: Fucked Up Shit from America's Wang

Postby lindbergh » Thu Feb 23, 2012 5:38 pm

"attract female beachgoers by making animal noises in the bushes"

what the hell?
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Re: Florida Thread: Fucked Up Shit from America's Wang

Postby googuse » Thu Feb 23, 2012 6:16 pm

lindbergh wrote:"attract female beachgoers by making animal noises in the bushes"

what the hell?



Dude, it's FLORIDA.
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Re: Florida Thread: Fucked Up Shit from America's Wang

Postby ScottLevison » Wed Feb 29, 2012 12:38 pm

http://blogs.tcpalm.com/off_the_beat_wi ... exual.html

DUI driver with sex toy in tush rear-ends other driver, Martin deputies say


By Will Greenlee on February 29, 2012 5:00 AM

A driver with a "sexual anus plug in his rectum" was jailed after investigators say he rear-ended another driver and had more than five times the legal limit of alcohol in his blood, according to a recently released arrest affidavit.

What could be called the case of the soused driver with the sex toy in his hindquarters happened about 11:20 a.m. Feb. 24 as Martin County Sheriff's investigators went to a two-vehicle crash at U.S. 1 and Seabranch Boulevard in Hobe Sound.

A deputy determined Kevin Brann, 41, had rear-ended another vehicle. Officials also determined Brann smelled strongly of alcohol.

Brann's speech was slurred and mumbled, his eyes bloodshot and glassy. A deputy gave Brann, who'd urinated in his pants, field sobriety exercises before arresting him on a DUI with property damage charge. Brann "soiled himself" en route to the slammer.

"The defendant had a sexual anus plug in his rectum, which he removed, or it fell out in the rear of my patrol car," an affidavit states.

The length, girth and color of the "sexual anus plug in his rectum" was not listed in the affidavit. Also not specified was the make and model of the plug and an explanation of how it ended up in his bottom.

At the jail, investigators measured Brann's blood alcohol content at 0.409 and 0.412 -- more than five times the legal limit of 0.08.

Brann, of the 6800 block of Southeast Bunker Hill Drive in Hobe Sound, was arrested on a DUI with property damage charge.

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Re: Florida Thread: Fucked Up Shit from America's Wang

Postby Boomshadow » Wed Feb 29, 2012 3:15 pm

I always love how they print the suspect's address. I guess it's good that they distinguish him from others with the same name, but the neighbors have got to be embarrassed.
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Re: Florida Thread: Fucked Up Shit from America's Wang

Postby barnztormre » Wed Feb 29, 2012 8:12 pm

ScottLevison wrote:a "sexual anus plug in his rectum"


As opposed to what, a non-sexual anus plug in his rectum?
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Re: Florida Thread: Fucked Up Shit from America's Wang

Postby googuse » Thu Mar 01, 2012 11:54 am

http://io9.com/5889161/woman-admits-to- ... oking-meth

Woman admits to burning down 3,500-year-old tree while smoking meth
Why is it that so many of nature's most awe-inspiring specimens seem to meet their end under such stupid circumstances? Some of you may recall reading about The Senator in recent weeks. The massive tree — which stood for over 3,500 years in what is now Longwood, Florida — was the oldest pond cypress tree in the world, and was believed to be the fifth-oldest tree on the planet. And on January 16th of this year, after smoldering unnoticed for over a week, The Senator became engulfed in flames and fell to Earth, utterly destroyed.

For over a month, officials have been puzzling over the cause behind the tree's igneous undoing. Now, according to Florida's WFTV news, they finally have their answer:


In January, the Department of Agriculture and Consumer Service initially suspected an arsonist, and also believed that lightning could have caused the fire.

However, through Crimeline tips, they learned [26-year-old Sarah Barnes] and a friend were inside the tree taking methamphetamine.

Agents said Barnes took pictures of the fire and downloaded the images to her cellphone and computer. Officials said she showed people the images, and said "I can't believe I burned down a tree older then [sic] Jesus."

Yeah. We're having a hard time wrapping our heads around the absurdity of the situation, ourselves, Sarah.
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Re: Florida Thread: Fucked Up Shit from America's Wang

Postby googuse » Mon Mar 19, 2012 10:06 am

http://www.thesmokinggun.com/buster/app ... ult-354891

An "obnoxious" karaoke performer who decided to get shirtless for the lunch crowd at a Florida Applebee’s was arrested yesterday after he allegedly assaulted the restaurant’s manager.

According to a Melbourne Police Department probable cause affidavit, Jeffrey Thompson was acting “loud and obnoxious” and “took his shirt off while inside singing karaoke” when he was asked to leave by the manager. As the man escorted him out of the establishment, Thompson, 28, punched the man in the face, knocking him unconscious.

Thompson, pictured in the above mug shot, was charged with battery and disorderly conduct and remains locked up in the Brevard County jail on $750 bond.

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Re: Florida Thread: Fucked Up Shit from America's Wang

Postby Boomshadow » Mon Mar 19, 2012 3:07 pm

googuse wrote:http://www.thesmokinggun.com/buster/applebees-karaoke-singer-assault-354891

An "obnoxious" karaoke performer who decided to get shirtless for the lunch crowd at a Florida Applebee’s was arrested yesterday after he allegedly assaulted the restaurant’s manager.

According to a Melbourne Police Department probable cause affidavit, Jeffrey Thompson was acting “loud and obnoxious” and “took his shirt off while inside singing karaoke” when he was asked to leave by the manager. As the man escorted him out of the establishment, Thompson, 28, punched the man in the face, knocking him unconscious.

Thompson, pictured in the above mug shot, was charged with battery and disorderly conduct and remains locked up in the Brevard County jail on $750 bond.

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Funny, I'd have sworn that when they made him put his shirt back on for the mugshot, it would have a collar for him to pop.
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Re: Florida Thread: Fucked Up Shit from America's Wang

Postby ScottLevison » Tue Mar 20, 2012 9:49 am

http://www.sun-sentinel.com/business/fl ... 6402.story

Orange-shirted employees fired at law firm, workers report

By Doreen Hemlock, Sun Sentinel
9:25 p.m. EDT, March 16, 2012

Were they wearing orange shirts on Friday to protest management? Or to get psyched for happy hour?

Either way, orange-shirted workers no longer have jobs at the Deerfield Beach law firm of Elizabeth R. Wellborn P.A.

A spokeswoman said the law firm had "no comment at this time."

Four workers tell the story this way: For the past few months, some employees have worn orange shirts on pay-day Fridays so they'd look like a group when they went out for happy hour.

This Friday, 14 workers wearing orange shirts were called into a conference room, where an executive said he understood there was a protest involving orange, the employees were wearing orange, and they all were fired.

The executive said anyone wearing orange for an innocent reason should speak up. One employee immediately denied involvement with a protest and explained the happy-hour color.

The executives conferred outside the room, returned and upheld the decision: all fired, said Lou Erik Ambert, 31, of Coconut Creek, a litigation para-legal who said he was terminated.

"There is no office policy against wearing orange shirts. We had no warning. We got no severance, no package, no nothing," said Ambert. "I feel so violated."

Meloney McLeod, 39, of North Lauderdale, said her choice of shirt puts her in a tough spot: "I'm a single mom with four kids, and I'm out of a job just because I wore orange today."

Janice Doble, 50, of Sunrise,said she wore orange Friday because she was looking forward to happy hour with colleagues after a busy work week.

"Orange happens to be my favorite color. My patio is orange," said Doble. "My lipstick was orange today." She said she supervised 12 people who scanned, copied and mailed documents for the firm.

Now she's worried for relatives employed at the law firm. "I have four kids who work there," said Doble. "I don't want them to retaliate and fire my kids."

Yadel Fong, 21, of Miami, wonders where he'll find work after losing his job in the mail room. He was not aware of anyone in the group involved in a protest.

"To my mind, protesting is where you put your foot down, and you're not working. There was none of that today," said Fong, who said he was working and looking forward to happy hour.

Florida is an "at-will" state for employment. That means unless there's a contract, an employer can fire a worker "for a good reason, for a bad reason or even for the wrong reason, as long as it's not an unlawful reason," said Eric K. Gabrielle, a labor and employment lawyer at Stearns Weaver in Fort Lauderdale.

"No violation of the law jumps out" in this case, Gabrielle said.
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Re: Florida Thread: Fucked Up Shit from America's Wang

Postby ScottLevison » Fri Mar 23, 2012 12:36 pm

http://www.tampabay.com/news/publicsafe ... ne/1221180

Pasco man in jail for calling 911 because wife wouldn't leave him alone


By Erin Sullivan, Times Staff Writer
Erin SullivanTampa Bay Times In Print: Thursday, March 22, 2012

Doyle Hardwick found himself back at the Land O'Lakes jail this week, this time for 60 days, all because he wanted to check his Facebook page in peace.

The trouble began brewing the evening of Sept. 24, as Hardwick plied his wife with beer, hoping she would go to bed. She drank. And drank. But didn't feel like going to sleep. So he called 911.

Caller (CLR) "says him and his wife are sitting next to each other," the 911 transcript reads. "CLR is upset because she won't go to bed. Now they are bickering about who has been drinking. CLR has had 4 beers. Wife has had 8 beers. … CLR is upset because she wouldn't let him look at Facebook peacefully."

His wife, Julie Hardwick, 54, waited for the deputy outside the mobile home at 27022 Dayflower Blvd. in the Angus Valley area of Wesley Chapel.

"Come in," she said to the deputy, a Pasco County Sheriff's Office report states. "He's in here."

Doyle Hardwick, 57, was still on the phone with 911 when the deputy walked in. The house was in order and the Hardwicks were calm. Both smelled of alcohol, the report says. The deputy asked the husband to step outside and talk with him.

Doyle Hardwick said he "called 911 because he was upset about his wife sitting next to him and not going to sleep after he gave her beers to go to sleep," the deputy wrote. "His wife was supposed to go to sleep after he gave her the beers because that was their agreement. He wanted me to make his wife not sit next to him and go to bed like she was supposed to."

"I just wanted someone to make my wife do what I wanted her to do," Hardwick told the deputy.

Julie Hardwick told the deputy "her husband asked her to not sit next to him and she told him she didn't feel like sitting anywhere else," the report states. "Her husband told her if she didn't quit sitting next to him and go to bed, he was going to call 911 and the police were going to make her. She told her husband not to call 911 or the police and he did."

Hardwick was arrested that night on a charge of misuse of 911. He pleaded no contest in February and was sentenced to 60 days in jail. He never showed up to face his time, so an arrest warrant was issued. Hardwick turned himself in to the Pasco jail on Tuesday to serve his sentence.

This was not his first act of misuse of 911. He pleaded no contest in 2010 to the same charge and was sentenced to 10 days in jail, court records show. That time, he repeatedly called 911 demanding to speak to someone in code enforcement "regarding neighbors defecating into old vehicle fuel tanks for the past three weeks," a report states.

He also asked the responding deputy for a ride to his daughter's house.

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Re: Florida Thread: Fucked Up Shit from America's Wang

Postby ScottLevison » Tue Apr 03, 2012 8:10 pm

http://www.bradenton.com/2012/04/02/397 ... k=misearch

Manatee woman offers sex for 2 cheeseburgers

By HERALD STAFF REPORT
Posted: 10:46pm on Apr 2, 2012; Modified: 9:02am on Apr 3, 2012

MANATEE — A woman was arrested in a prostitution sting on 14th Street West but not before she got two double cheeseburgers off the dollar menu at a McDonald’s restaurant.

Christine Faith Baker, 47, was walking north in the 6300 block of 14th Street West on Friday when she was approached by a detective working in the Manatee County Sheriff Office’s special investigations division, according to a sheriff’s office report.

After the undercover detective invited Baker into his car and the talk turned to sex, she said her fee would be two double cheeseburgers from the dollar menu at McDonald’s, the report states.

The detective bought the burgers for $2.75 and then Baker told him that he could also tip her $40 for her services, according to the report. After Baker gave the detective directions to a vacant lot, Baker was arrested by other agents and charged with prostitution, the report states.

The report does not indicate if Baker got to finish eating the food before she was taken to jail. Baker was released from jail on Saturday, according to the sheriff’s office website.

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Re: Florida Thread: Fucked Up Shit from America's Wang

Postby Boomshadow » Wed Apr 04, 2012 6:45 am

ScottLevison wrote:http://www.bradenton.com/2012/04/02/3977391/manatee-woman-offers-sex-for-2.html#storylink=misearch

Manatee woman offers sex for 2 cheeseburgers


She should charge people not to have sex with them.
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Re: Florida Thread: Fucked Up Shit from America's Wang

Postby ScottLevison » Wed Apr 18, 2012 7:03 am

http://www.theledger.com/article/201204 ... shes&tc=ar

Lakeland Man Charged With Stealing Ashes

Published: Saturday, April 14, 2012 at 11:42 p.m.
Last Modified: Saturday, April 14, 2012 at 11:42 p.m.

A Lakeland man remained in jail Saturday after he was charged with stealing a person's ashes.

Joseph W. Pointer, 51, of Lakeland, was arrested Thursday and charged with grand theft.

Angela Speakman told deputies she thinks Pointer stole her sister's ashes, according to an arrest report. The two briefly lived together in April, a police report said.

Pointer was spotted by Speakman's mother Wednesday. She said Pointer drove by her home and shouted, "I've got your dead daughter's ashes and I'm going to snort them," according to an arrest affidavit.

Speakman and her parents share the ashes of her sister, Melissa Williamson, who died in 2008 in a vehicle crash, according to the affidavit.

Pointer was arrested and remained in jail on $1,000 bail, according to jail records.

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Re: Florida Thread: Fucked Up Shit from America's Wang

Postby Boomshadow » Wed Apr 18, 2012 8:00 am

He looks like the victim of a failed cremation attempt himself.
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Re: Florida Thread: Fucked Up Shit from America's Wang

Postby ScottLevison » Wed Apr 18, 2012 9:23 am

Boomshadow wrote:He looks like the victim of a failed cremation attempt himself.


Is it me or does he look like Frank Sinatra?
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Re: Florida Thread: Fucked Up Shit from America's Wang

Postby barnztormre » Wed Apr 18, 2012 10:17 am

Looks more like Terry Sawchuk...in his current state.
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Re: Florida Thread: Fucked Up Shit from America's Wang

Postby googuse » Wed Apr 18, 2012 6:24 pm

ScottLevison wrote:
Boomshadow wrote:He looks like the victim of a failed cremation attempt himself.


Is it me or does he look like Frank Sinatra?



A cross between Frank Sinatra and a Monchichi
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Re: Florida Thread: Fucked Up Shit from America's Wang

Postby vomitgod » Wed Apr 18, 2012 8:10 pm

barnztormre wrote:Looks more like Terry Sawchuk...in his current state.


This.
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Re: Florida Thread: Fucked Up Shit from America's Wang

Postby Boomshadow » Wed Apr 18, 2012 11:47 pm

googuse wrote:
ScottLevison wrote:
Boomshadow wrote:He looks like the victim of a failed cremation attempt himself.


Is it me or does he look like Frank Sinatra?



A cross between Frank Sinatra and a Monchichi


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