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Tommie Agee
Marv Albert
Ferdinand Alcindor
(Kareem Abdul-Jabbar)
Chuck Bednarik
Trevor Berbick
Cassius Clay Jr.
(Muhammad Ali)
Allen Davis
(Al Davis)
Dan Dierdorf
(Dan Dierdorf)
Louis Duva
(Lou Duva)
Ralph Earnhardt Jr.
(Dale Earnhardt Jr.)
Tom Fears
Robert Feller
(Bob Feller)
Larry Finch
Joseph Frazier
(Joe Frazier)
Arturo Gatti
Chris Henry
Ralph Houk
Robert Irsay
Violet Irwin
(Georgia Frontiere)
Jack Kemp
Giacobbe LaMotta
(Jake LaMotta)
Meadow Lemon
(Meadowlark Lemon)
John Mackey
Pete Maravich
(Pistol Pete Maravich)
Harvey Martin
(Harvey Martin)
Al McGuire
Joseph Meredith
(Don Meredith)
Urban Meyer III
Brent Musburger
Ara Parseghian
Bobby Phills II
Randall Poffo
(Macho Man Randy Savage)
Alexander Rodriguez
(Alex Rodriguez)
Edwin Sabol
(Ed Sabol)
Richard Schaap
(Dick Schaap)
John Tatum
(Jack Tatum)
Timothy Tebow
(Tim Tebow)
Hunter Thompson
(Hunter S. Thompson)
Reginald White
(Reggie White)

George Carlin:
Tonight's forecast calls for increasing chest pains followed by perpetual darkness.