Every time you talk to someone about the fun that IS deadpoolery, there are always 3 questions:
- 1. Isn’t that kind of morbid? (Answer: Yes)
- 2. Why are you so handsome? (Answer: I just am)
- 3. Why do celebrities always die in threes?
That last one just bugs us over here at the stiffs.complex. Let’s summarize: they don’t. Celebrities die ALL THE TIME – that’s what makes this game so damned much fun. Just go look at the list of dead celebs for this year so far – it’s a treasure trove of corpses, ALL THE TIME.
Now look – we;re not saying that we don’t see interesting things. Sometimes will be 2, 3, 4, even 5 of the same TYPE of celebrity dying in short order. Sometimes we’ll see 3 authors go all at once, and call it a “writer trifecta” or 4 politicians in a row will be a “storm of windbags”, or 3 socialites will die in 2 days and we’ll call that “a gift to all mankind”. But no – they don’t go in threes.
On average we get about 80 stiffs (once that qualify as actual celebrities, that is) a year. On average, that is one every 4.56 days. Sometimes we’ll get lucky, and get one a day for 6 days straight. Sometimes we go 20 days without any, and then they just drop like famous little flies. Either way – they’re going all the time.
So the next time you hear someone say “Yep! They always die in threes!”, just say “You’re an idiot” – and walk away. Trust us. It’s easier.