Well kids, it was a long road, but we’re finally there. Welcome to the new stiffs.com. The home of death on the web, the greatest deadpool in the WORLD, and the second most fun you can have with your pants off, at home, in front of the computer.
First off, you MUST understand what has happened here. You are now deep in the guts of the newer, improved-er Z-5000a. If you thought the Z-5000 was something, this is very likely going to make you shit yourself like a 2 year old at a horror movie. Upgraded from 6 to 17 – SEVENTEEN – vorktron cylinders, we now have the computing capacity to manage MULTIPLE deadpool games at once, do your taxes, and make a PITCHER of martinis in less than 1 second. True story.
So what’s in this for YOU? Glad you asked. Right out of the gate:
- Single sign on – you create an account here on the site, and you use it to enter games, receive alerts, and order stuff.
- One game a year? Umm – NO. We’re taking entries for The 2010 Lee Atwater Invitational right now, and there will be many more to follow. We’ll also be announcing a new game next month, and another shortly thereafter. You don’t have to go ONE SECOND without basking in the healthy goodness that is deadpoolin’.
- E-Bituaries™ – Tired of waiting for the all-too-slow media outlets to let you know when someone famous has taken the big dirt nap? Then this is the feature you’ve been dreaming of, assuming you weren’t wacked out on Vicodin like us. Just check a box on your profile page, and you get instant alerts from the Game Of Games, telling you who croaked, when, and Quicklinks™ to take you direct to your affected lists, super funny obits, etc.
- Individual pages for EACH celebrity – allow you to go in and add your own suggestions for obits, upload pictures, or just write something nasty about that bitch Megan Fox, and how she won’t reply to any of your emails, ignores you when you yell at her on the street, or calls the cops when you hang out in front of her house. DAMN her.
- Content, baby! – The days of a site with no updates for days or weeks at a time are a distant memory. Right here you’ll be able to see all the latest in the world of corpse counting, with guest writers and everything.
There’s all that, and tons more to come. It’s going to be better than a Miley Cyrus concert on LSD, and we’re damn glad to have you. Thanks for stopping in, and if you have any suggestions, just keep them to yourself. Or send them here. Whatever.