Man, Joey D. is, like, on everyone's list. One guy in the chat room called
it a "no-brainer." Maybe you should send him a note letting him know how
popular he is in the big game. I'm sure it would cheer him up.
Your pal,
-Dave
Zach:
I am nothing if not a law and order kind of guy. If I were not, I would
have driven to Connecticut by now ( I am only in NY) and smothered a
pillow over the head of that stubborn old bird Katherine Hepburn, and
collected a higher prize! I should have known she was too mean to die on
her own.
-Joe B.
Stiffies:
Well Jerry Quarry was taken off life support Saturday and appears to be
the first celeb death of 1999. Only one guy had him (not me) and for a
measly point. I guess this demonstrates how much real research is going
on with these entries.
Top tune for '99? "Why haven't you gone, Joe DiMaggio? A nation turns
its sickly eyes to you. woo. ooo. ooo...."
-Mulch Monkey
Somewhere in custody.
Hello,
We have a "dead guys" pool in our office. The rules are very similar to
yours. One of the guys listed Garom Cukwu/Udobi (youngest of the
surviving octuplets)as an entry. We took it to a vote and vetoed the
submission, due to the fact that this was NOT a public figure with name
recognition. The guy who submitted the name wants to appeal our decision
to a neutral outside arbitrator, who would be an "expert". We all agreed
on you, so if you could make a ruling on this we would appreciate it :-)
Thanks,
-Jack
I will put that button on my double bass subwoofer-system in the trunk
of my car. please send tehe button to the following adress:
Christian Fiedler
[address deleted
for privacy]
Germany
please send me some information about the stiffs play.
thank ya,
-Christian
I am a real bartender and am looking for some drink recipies to add to my
mad scienetist lab can you givbe me info on any web pages?
-kenyon
iz dis sum kind a skam? Is there a job for me to do or something? Could
be interested .
Let the festivities begin !
-DOG-2
Hey there...
I am a relative newcomer to the stiffs, yet a quick convert -- although
apparently not quick enough. Imagine my disappoint as I discovered your
fantastic site...one week too late to enter the big game!
Nonetheless, I plan on participating in the March Junior...and was
thrilled to hear that you folks are L.A. based. I'd love to attend the
party...hell, I've even been to the Kitty (by the way, have you ever
pondered the meaning of Liquid Kitty? If not, give it a few...) but
don't know the date for the whole shebang. I'll dig into the
website...but would appreciate it if you have chance to let me know the
when, since I'm down with the where.
Again, love the site!
-dmzfidgets
I am in a death pool, and I can't find these people's birthday's for the
life of me...
Scott McNealy (CEO of Sun Microsystems)
Shoshona Lonstein (Seinfields' ex)
Jim Rome (obnoxious sports talk show host)
I was curious if you'd know what they were, or where I could find
them...I've been to several sites...I've even tried email Sun Micro, and Jim
Rome (via his website www.jimrome.com) - but to no avail.
Thanks,
-Darren
I have an idea for a new game that you might be interested in. Let's call it
the LEE Sure Shot, for now. Since it seems there are people who play the game,
that believe they can predict anybody's death, have a game where you must pick
1 person to die that month. For X amount of dollars, players can win, let's say
20X that amount, where X is any amount you choose. Think about it, $!1 for $20,
or $5 for $100. You guys pick the dollar amount, I'm just the idea guy. Ya'll
have the resources, however GUN would get 5% for the idea. Consulting fee, think
about it, you'd make a killing.
Thanx,
-gunslinger357
Stiffies:
Does it seem as odd to you as it does to me that former President
Gerald Ford would get half the nominations to make this year's
cornucopia of corpses as his wife, Betty? Is it because nobody named a
drunk tank after Gerry? In my judg-e-ment, the old center has been brain
dead for a long time. Well, I suppose he'll just wander into the rough
someday and never return.
BTW, with all the names I see on these lists that are totally obscure
to me, one recent passing should be acknowledged. David Belin was noted
in a recent obit wire story. He was one of the lead attornies for the
Warren Commission and was the guy the media trotted out (when they
couldn't revive Gerald Ford) whenever they needed somebody to proclaim
that the Warren Report was absolutely correct. He was 70 years old.
A borderline celeb at best, but I'm sure he's been interviewed more
often than several of the nobodies people hope to score points with. For
instance, who the hell is Tofu Eti Alasalad or whoever he/she/it is/was?
Why has this person escaped my attention yet 26 people are sure that
he/she/it will die this year? I don't know how you folks keep up with
all these names.
I'm glad you are raising your standards on who a celebrity is.
-Mulch Monkey (edgy about having three lists and zero points so far)
You are so funny!
-Judyfowler
I missed the party again. Damn!
What I didn't miss was lunch this afternoon with an old friend of mine
who's a member of the Friar's Club. I've lunched there before, but
never has it been so alive (as it were) with potential dead pool
selections. To all of you who have Milton Berle on your list, I'm
sorry to tell you he was there and looking remarkably good. He came
in under his own power and seemed quite lively. I'm told his stroke
was minor. Also lunching were Tony Martin, looking robust at eighty,
and his wife Cyd Charisse who, if you'll pardon me some uncouth
maleness, is one fine looking babe. Red Buttons came in mid-lunch
and tough luck to all of you who selected him, because unless he pulls
a Sonny Bono or John Denver, he looks like he'll be around for awhile.
Enough name dropping, though. My true reason for writing is to
commend our ringmasters on their new policy of appealing a person's
celebrity. I'm not going to wait until just before the next pool
to get the ball rolling. Let's have a ruling now on Anne Morrow
Lindburgh (who turns up on one of my lists this year). Most people
I've discussed this with feel she's legit, as do I. What say you?
Also, after his header off a balcony, it's timely to ask if Larry
Fortensky, the George Lazenbee of Elizabeth Taylor's husbands,
qualifies for celebrity. I don't think so in this case, but perhaps
it's enough just to be married to the woman who's been on death's
doorstep so often the mat says, "Welcome, Liz".
By the way, poolsters, I'm using the Pete Marovich rule this year to
conduct a dead pool experiment. In addition to my A-list (zero
hits to date) I've made up two distinctively different lists, one
with sick people (one hit to date) and one with extremely old people
(also, one hit to date). My hypothesis is that the old will out-
survive the sick. If Senor Wences is healthy enough to reach 101,
why shouldn't he go on to be 108 like our recently departed Sarah
Delany. On the other hand, how many strokes, heart attacks, fevers,
broken hips and sundry other mishaps have to happen to Peggy Lee before
her body just says, "Fuck this, I give up." Time, as always,
will tell.
I've bored you all enough. Until a future "potential-pool-pick"
sighting I am...
Ever you servant,
-Andre the Giant Killer
Good domain name mate I remembered it from two months ago after reading
about you in an Australian PC Mag.
You could have an assasination page. One hit only, ha!
Maybe a dead TV pet page.
Or simply do it by section so that people may feel like they can
actually have a decent shot at the $1,000. Say, rockers, sitcom stars,
old movie stars, current movie stars, sports stars etc...
Hey if you use any of this how about throwing a bone my way, I'm not
greedy at all.
Cheers from Brook Burton in Alice Springs, Nothern Territory middle of
Australia and boy is it hot 40C...well over 100F
-brook
I was perusing the Leader of the 99 Dead Pool's entry and I noticed he had
Judith Exner listed. I could swear she died of cancer years ago after blabbing
all about screwing JFK. Is she dead or alive?
PS: Hey, if she's dead, there is no way you can let this bozo win. Anyone who
is stupid enough to list someone who is already dead is not worthy of winning
a Dead Pool. Listing someone who is already fucking dead should be an automatic
disqualifier!
-Tawni
Hey man, sorry I missed the party, but I was in Vegas. After my performance
at the tables, let me give you one hint: buy stock in Mirage Casinos. Anyway,
I am honored and humbled by winning my second consecutive Mrs. Hewey Award. I
would have loved to have given a brief political speech (a la Vanessa Redgrave)
on the depraved sexual habits and blatant hypocrisy of Washington DC. But enough
about Bob Barr. I am also considering pulling a Bill Cosby (remember I Spy?) and
withdrawing my name from future consideration for the Mrs. Hewey Award. Perhaps
if I concentrated a little less on my hate list, and more on celebrities circling
the drain, I would finish higher then 1,965,960th place.
Hope all is well. My new email address is [deleted for privacy] The reply is to my
work, which I never check. Congrats on 919 people in the Pool; I'm sure you'll be
hearing from the ICC, DOJ, and FTC soon.
-Greg Terzakis
Hey Guys,
Can't believe you're not listing Ed Herlihy as a member of the class of
'99! Not only did he have a great career in radio, but he was also one of
those wonderful newsreel voices of the 40's, 50's and 60's. And on top of
that, his magnificent sound and presentation made the Kraft Foods Company a
household name in the early days of television. It was because of Ed
Herlihy that my mother (and probably yours too) bought Cheez-Whiz and
Miracle Whip by the wagonload.
So, how about it? Give the man some recognition! I've even written a
blurb for the ol' guy.
· Ed Herlihy He may have been known as the Kraft announcer, but now
he's nothing more than stale cheese.
-mash4
Is it just me or has this year totally sucked so far for really famous stiffs?
I mean, come on, when Jerry-fucking-Quarry is the most famous person to drop
off the planet in the entire month of January, something's definitely rotten in
the state of Stiffsville! The most recognizable corpses after that are obscure
actors, athletes and R & B singers. Oh yeah, and that Indian guy who cried
during the Public Service Announcement. Jeez, where are all of the household
names? Wait, hot off the wires, "King Hussein Pronounced Clinically Dead".
Maybe things are starting to look up (or down, depending on your perspective).
-Ice X, Jr.
I saw your player profile this week. Why didn't you choose me for the player
profile? I am a lot more interesting than that goofball!
Damn! I was going to pick King Hussein for this year's game. I pray the old
fool makes it through February so I can put him on my list for the Lee Junior.
Finally, I never even heard of Sarah Delany, Doug Wickenheiser, or Irene
Seiberling Harrison for crying out loud. I thought this was a celebrity dead
pool!?!? Contestants should select from a predetermined list of celebrities.
Or maybe, you can put one of those polls on your web site to let people vote
on the celebrity status of a stiff. Life's tough enough, let's not make death
tough also.
Sincerely
-Gregorymex
A.K.A. - Live and let die
Stiffies:
A tip of the pointy-cap for giving us the new feature "Officer Mark".
It proves that you're not niggardly with your web space or time. (Heck,
some of my best friends are niggardly). Whatever evidence Officer Mark
needs, he just makes up.
Say, has anyone seen my socks? I thought I left them at the foot of the
bed...
-Mulch Monkey
sitting here with my new webtv and stiffs.com stuff. really like the
mug. nothin like coffee, donut, and obits to make the day start right.
OK a good shit helps too. now, if pee wee or someone else on my lists
would step up to the plate and knock one out-a-here for the hometeam,
i'd really be in a good mood.
-dave g
This site is hilarious. Please put me on the e-mail list so I can get involved
next year. And who the hell is Kathryn Schoonover? Any chance of finding out
who actually turned these lists in? The person who's leading has some people
on there who are in horse racing, which is a sport I work in, so I have a
feeling I might know the entrant. Anyway, thanks for the entertainment!
-Jayprivman
please
Can you tell me how to win but in a summary form instead the long letter in
the web site
please
-west1
So...anyway. Last year I get in on the big one, got a kick ass list of
potential humus. ( OK so only two of them bit it ) This year I do some
research....really think it out. I only come up with seven that I'm sure
will snuff it. What to do. Easy....Figure out which ones Julie picked
that haven't kacked yet & I'm a shoe in for the big time fortune & fame.
Bummer that I'm stuck on a pipe barge in the Fuckin' Gulf of Mexico for two
months. No e-mail, no mail, shit rooms, shit food, shit everywhere, got
the shits, assholes to work for, & I've got the dead pool list to end all
dead pool lists. So now I'm home checking this shit out. I coulda been a
contender. I miss you guys. All the e-mails that I've missed.. Just not
the same when you read them two months late. Kind of like "almost" getting
laid. I'm in a pit of despair that not even Fucko could drag me out of. A
coffee mug would sure as fuck help though....how bout it? The life you
save could be mine! Think about it ;-)
Ciao',
-Paul of the frozen white freezin' fuckin' cold,
blowing, howling,drifting Canadian North.
You know, my daughter, and some others, for that matter, have taken a dim
view of my participation in the Dead Pool. She says, "Well, once you enter,
you will just be wishing and hoping for people to die -- that's kind of
nasty." At first, her reservations gave me pause, but then I thought of the
other side -- I'm not wishing for the people on my list to die -- no, I'm
wishing for everyone on all the other lists (except for my picks) to LIVE!!!
I want them all to live! I am wishing life upon almost all of humanity.
OK, there's a few folks who could make me a couple of bucks if they die in
sufficient quantity, but everyone else, I just wish the very best for. I
hope they have long and prosperous lives. And when they (those not on my
lists) die, I grieve. I grieve for their families and friends. I grieve
for the years they won't have to brighten out lives. I grieve for the prize
money that now may go to some other undeserving slob instead of me -- a
deserving slob.
So, entering the Dead Pool is an affirmation of life and hope. I hope so
many people live (at least until 2000) and continue to be here with us on
this side of the grass. It's only a very few people (less than .00004% of
the world, by my calculatons) that I will not grieve for should they assume
room temperature.
So, the next time someone accuses you of ghoulish behavior and
insensitivity, hold your head up high and say "no, my friend, it is you who
are obsessed with death. I am high on life!"
Your pal,
-Dave
Some friends and I have been running our own pool for the last year or so
(10 entries), and we're constantly checking your site for updates & laughs.
Just wanted to say:
Nice work guys - keep it up.
-JMC10000
Zach,
It seems to me that you and your cronies have spent a a great deal of
time and expense to put this site together. You gotta keep track of
the dead, coordinate the features, and all sorts of other crap. This
has got to take up a lot of your time.
My question is this: Do you have a real job? Or is this it? Does
the Lee Atwater get the bills paid for you? Does this game get you
laid? When you're at a bar trying to get in with the ladies, and she
asks you what you do for a living, do you reply, "I run a dead pool on
the internet, baby!" Does this make the ladies jump all over you?
Are you the Hugh Hefner of internet dead pools?
Maybe I'm in the wrong line of work. Maybe I can be just like you,
and start my own pool. Thank you Lee Atwater deal pool. You've
finally given me some direction in life.
-Hockey Guy Bry
P.S. - Can I borrow your Z-5000?
Received your check in today's mail for my finishing second in the
August Lee, Jr. Thank You.
Just playing is a blast, and winning is a bonus. The site keeps getting
better and better. Thanks again.
-Joe Biasi
Hi, I am looking for a dead celebrity who has a moustache and something
to do with a boat( either he died in a boating accident, was in a show
having to do with a boat, etc.). If someone could help me out I would
really appreciate it. By the way, I love this cite, I wish someone was
chating though.
-Cheryl
ROGER EBERT: TWO THUMBS DOWN; WAY DOWN(OR AT LEAT SIX FEET)
-MICHAELLEE
just sent in entry for lee jr. march-august pool.I sent it in express mail on
Donald O'Connor's behalf.unfortunately I read in the times that Mickey Rooney
is starring in Cabaret.Maybe that stage is a little slippery.
-Rtds9
Pardon my french, but, I'm sick of this crap! When are these people
going to start dying. Gene Siskel is just about the most interesting
person yet to go. Where is the excitement! I've got 3 pretty damn
good lists just waiting to get crossed off. I realize that they are pretty
common people, but think about it, if we could get rid of some of
them, we could add even more! Some that might even interest
Zach and Co. again! I feel a little better now. I hope that I have
expressed some thoughts that others have had, but just kept inside.
Thanks,
-SiflNOllyRock1, SiflNOllyRock2, and Pierre&TheCat
I BUILT THEM, NOW DIE!
Dear Stiffs,
Thanks to you I'm in the March Madness tournament through the ESPN
website. I had no intention of playing until I saw your Final Four Fun
link, and was sucked in like the principal in Ferris Beuller!
By the way, I feel honored to be one of the chosen few playing in the
stiffs.com group. Maybe it's because I have no stiffs in the pool yet, but
I hope all the other groups that are playing die!
Sincerely,
-Father McKenzie
For your information, I DO know what Byzantium means (I learned it in
11th grade), although I have an extra meaning for it that I made up
myself--the brightest shade of blue.
I am 32 and a single female.
Also, FYI, Radovan Karadzic is a male, and appears in the world news
once in a while. He's a fugitive alleged Serbian war criminal.
Thank you for selecting me playah of the week--even though I don't have
any hits yet!
-TSODMSC
Dear Sick, Perverted Bastards;
You have missed the death of one of a great sportsman turned statesman.
I speak of none other than "Vinegar Bend" Mizell. I don't know what his
real name was, but, who really cares.... He was listed in the AP AND the
New York Times.
Bye, Bye Scum Bags
-Bubba
Who's writing your death blurbs now?????
The SISKEL blurb was QUITE weak.......and in general, biting remarks and
cleverness have been dropping for a while!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
A casual "Stiffs" vistor,
-Bill Currie
Hey you guys...
I'm a loyal Dead-Net-Head! I think you guys are "fall down" funny. I
enjoy checking in each week to find out who has left abruptly & who is
one step away. I swear I don't slow down to look at those accidents on
the side of the road on my drive home (yeah... right!) but when it comes
to who's bitten it & who is on their way out this week, I depend on you
guys! My inquiring sick mind wants to know! Keep up this demented great
work for us mamby-pamby's that don't want to admit that we check in here
before we trot off to send those emails we don't want our families to
know about! ;-) Just kidding... I KNOW none of us do that!!!
Keep up the great work.. I can't even imagine how much time it takes you
guys to keep this site going but I'm standing... I'm applauding ya's!
-Marty
Zach,
Lee Jr.
When I posted my March Jr. list (only one) in the Hotel Neptuno, Miramar,
Ciudad la Havana on 25 February I was unable to convince the (pretty) girls
in the post office there to stamp the envelope in front of my eyes. I hope
some sort of verification will be visible when (and if) the letter arrives.
It is a pretty boring list anyway:
1.Joe Di Maggio
2.Senor Wences
3.Elizabeth, Queen Mother
4.Max Schmeling
5.Ronald Reagan
6.Franjo Tudjman
7.George Harrison
8.Pope John Paul (George and Ringo) II
9.Lionel Hampton
10.Leni Riefenstahl
John Lee Hooker.
I included USD 5 in cash - I thought this better than paying all these
checking expenses. Well, let's hope it all works out - I noticed that the
March entries are not posted yet anyway.
Philosophy
When I reread my recent propositions and your comments thereto I came to
realise that I had based my arguments on a somewhat naive notion: namely,
that being accepted as a celebrity in the stiffs.com pool is some sort of
PRIVILEGE. Apparently I had completely forgotten that the whole idea of the
game (and, if you so will, its moral justification) is what in German is
called "Schadenfreude". You might know the word. It basically means "joy at
someone else's misfortune" and it also contains elements of the semantics
of "gloating" and "vindication". Legitimate Schadenfreude one does
experience when he has been plagued by another human being who subsequently
becomes the victim of some mishap or other. So, of course, the poor sick
child of a famous person should be excluded and, of course, war criminals
and pop singers (if famous enough) must qualify. I apologise for my
momentary delusion.
Andy
Although his latest film wasn't all that funny I do admire John Waters a
lot. During one of his appearances on Late Night (we get NBC Europe on
cable) he talked about the pleasure he gets from Hollywood hits which get
turned into porno flicks - things like Beverly Hills Cock etc. Conan
immediately volunteered "Romancing the Bone" and Andy suggested "Terms of
Enrearment". I thought both were quite funny....
By the way, when he was in Zurich to present "Serial Mom", John Waters
said he found "Schindler's Fist" a bit too much..... Unfortunately, the
last time he was here (to present "Pecker") I missed the chance to tell him
that I had recently seen the greatest one of them all "The Butt Detective -
The pay was unusual and so was the assignment: find that asshole".
Whatever.
Yours faithfully,
-Christoph
Stiffies:
It would be a fitting tribute if the funeral home that receives Harry
Blackmun's body uses a vacuum to suck the brain out of his skull then yanks
each individual limb away from the corpse and dispose of it in the trash. It
was "HIS" law. He should see how it feels.
-Bob Hulsey
Mulch Monkey
I'm sending you a copy of Fabian Ver's AP obit which I got from
something called the Manila Bulletin. This guy was a real dick, but a
real famous one. Doubt it'll help the sorry "Make My Day" squad in the
Oct-March Jr. With the help of Dusty S. and some help from your old
contestant Augusta Watts, ya never know. How long can that old bag suck
in pureed bacon and eggs through her pus filled feeding tube? Bi-Bi
Dusty
-DGRAVES
Well, obviously I'm a little dissapointed about the delay in the Lee Jr. I
just started playing the pool this year in the big one and caught the
fever...so I wanted to try my luck in the Lee Jr. Now that its pushed back I
know everyone on my list is gonna kick off. That's just bad karma. I guess I
justed wanted to know what happens to my lists and entry fees. Also wanted to
drop you a note to let you know I'm taking everyone down in the Final Four
game. I may not have one death yet, but I think I make a better basketball
fanatic than a psuedo-grim reaper.
-DJtheDJ
Zach--
You've really got to do something about the Blurb of the Day. It's
supposed to put out blurbs on living people, but today's is Korla
Pandit, who died last year. Moreover, I know I've seen Idi Amin come up
four times already (and it's not that good a blurb, anyway, not for
someone who declared himself King of Scotland and plays a mean Irish jig
on the accordian). In any event, please purge out the dead celebs, and
throw in a few new ones.
-Jason Arvey
Another day, another judge as Lord Denning decides that a 100 yrs. is
enough. Richard Kiley goes down as well. The bad ole days of Dec.-Feb
are over and I can't wait to see the spring lineups. I just love March
madness!
-DGRAVES
between springfield,blackmun,and richard kiley,things are really HEATING UP.
-Rtds9
Hey Zach,
Lick my ass for putting Adam Sandler on the 99 hate list! Adam is a GOD
you fool. He's funny as hell!! Maybe you just don't get it? Anyway,
suck my dick, im outta this boring site..............
-Charles Joseph
Dear Zach-
What was the doctor doing at 8 this morning?
Jolting Joe DiMaggio
Later Dead Dude
-Jon Tater
wrigley death
he doubled our pleasure, doubled our fun; now hes doubled over for the
long run. (as a gesture of gratitude, mourners will fold over the thank
you cards at his funeral and interlock them into a continuous zig-zag
pattern)
-chris ormsby
If you sent me a sticker, I would take it to a tattoo parlor and let my
favorite tattoo artist place a new tattoo on my left breast. Maybe if it
looks good I'll put it on everything that I own!! :) Pictures are a
possibility!
-Brace69
I've been playing for a while and never thought I'd have a distant relative
on the death list. Let me tell you, that mouthful of chemicals helped pay
my way into this game and I'm barely on the score board. What's the ruling
on picking relatives other than burning in unethical hell?
-Toni "Stimpy" WRIGLEY
Dear stiffs,
Now you've done it! You've chosen one lightweight actress (and I use
the term VERRRRY loosely) and slapped her on the dead page alongside the
likes of Joe DiMaggio and Gene Siskel. Yet you refuse to consider Mr. Kraft
Television himself, Ed Herlihy. I know I've made a pitch for him in the
past, but since when does Peggy Cass in all her obscurity outrank a man who
could run circles around her with Cheez Whiz? Come to your senses
knuckleheads! Give the man his just desserts...from Kraft, naturally.
-Carole Mashburn
...And here's to you Joe DiMaggio, you've left and gone away. And in doing so,
you've given us our first dead pool points since we began to play.
Thanks Joe D. for popping our "dead pool" cherry. You are our first celebrity
we've pegged for fertilizer and gotten right between last year's contest and
this year's. Not that picking you to croak was going out on a limb or
anything, like 4,658 other people picked you, too. (Not including NBC.) Either
way we feel relieved that that are drought is over and good things are gonna
start happening. (Lookout LT and Barbara Bush. You better get your affairs in
order.)
Sincerely,
-Da Baers
sexy noises turn me on and o talk to me and you can't go wrong
-Larry272
how bout if any of george foreman's sons die? are they
celebs?? of course, according to your definition, they're
not because they didn't do anything. BUT, everyone know
about foreman's sons BECAUSE they're all named george.
-duffy
Fuck, man! Yehudi Menuhin was a real big dude. Come up with something
better! You're really letting us down down here. "Fiddle dude" - what
the FUCK is THAT kind of cop out shit?! Comb his obituaries, work it out
and get off your asses! You're losing your more CULTURED audience,
dickheads!
-Tyler Coppin
Zach, Today being Saint Patricks Day I have been out and about
I live on the beach of the Atlantic coast. If you know anything about
Boston Irish is the biggest celebration of the year. So long, omen and
not ann so get with it and get rid of my name, talk to you latter.
-Ann Tomlinson
zach are u famous enough for the deathpool? great site I haven't entered
yet but i am rooting for the death of roberto benini. If Jennifer Love Hewitt
died would you fuck her warm amplebreasted stiffeniing corpse. God is dead.
Judge Judy for president, sexy and stearn!!! peace you cock sucker.
-jluva (god's 4th quarter)
I THINK BRANDY WILL BE THE NEXT TO DIE HA HA HA HA HA HA HA
-cmeyer
Who was the actor that was killed when he was hit by a helicopter during
the filming of a movie?
-willows
You guys crack me up!!!!
that is all......
-chased
I think your site is one of the funniest on the net and I always come here
after a rousing few rounds of some mindless game I can kill people using
shotguns, to relieve the stress. Just wanted to drop you a line and also
please add your site to our entertainment search engine, just launched, all
free (promise, no crap mail) - I'd love to have you there so our other
viewers can enjoy your site, we probably don't get the traffic you get but
are running a fair 3000+ uniques a day across all the sites, we' hope this
does as well.
If you would like to add your site, just go to
http://www.lemmecheck.com/lmc/pages/index.html
Keep up the good work, I was too stressed out to make the deadline for the
Lee, Jr. but I'll be first in line for the next contest :)
-Kyla Groff
Tell Mr. F.T. Clown to try to remember to make some picks if he's going
to take up valuable space in the stiffs.com group. But even with
picking UConn, I only had 770 points anyway, so it didn't matter for me.
-gklare
Guys,
I love the sick ticker today. However, I
have to disagree with something. If you're
going to pick the ugliest man in baseball,
Tommy Lasorda has nothing on Don Zimmer.
For almost as long as I've been seeing him
sitting in the Yankee dugout, I've been saying
he looks amazingly like Jabba the Hut.
Also, my e-mail has changed (again). The old
address of walter@erols.com is no longer
active. He died and I thought it was kind of
morose to be using a dead man's account. The
new address is [deleted for privacy].
-Anastasia Sidorowich
What a loser. You know how long it took me to figure out that Bob Hope's
entry on This Year's Deaths was a joke? Not half as long as it took for
me to type this shitty note. You gotta come up with something better
than that for an April Fool's joke. That was a weak, very weak attempt.
-Mark
Oh you putzheads had me going for a few minutes. Now get me back atop
the March Jr. I'll send you a cleaning bill later!! Also, I had no
idea how sick some poolsters are until I tuned into the insane and inane
alt.stiffs.com discussion of my 6 in one perfromance in the March Jr.
The guys who usually get to the leaderboard like Ron Harris, Brian Gray,
and Mike Richards are all cool guys. Some of the others, well, they
need help! Put some padding on those chat room walls.
-DGRAVES
hey guys-thanks for the heart attack...it took me a minute but...
excellent gag. i've been dreaming of the day hope died and now i
can see what the world would be like without that old bag. unless,
he really did die and the ap hasn't caught up...youse guys are funny!
-smichener
Ok, so I sign up for a chat room with no chatting? What the hell kinda shit
is this? Am I on the wrong page or should my natural hair color be blonde???
-jkelly
Bob Hope.....you f---ing got me.
April Fool to you, too. Nobody else got me today, but you did.
-Rob
Hey stiffs -
Love your stuff and just in case you need to know, I'm a mom of four
boys who's a professional journalist. I used to get in these pools at
work, but yours looks much more fun and rewarding. Please put me on
your mailing lists, because I get alot of other email that work related
and very boring.
-Jan
Dear Zach-
Go ahead- rip out my heart! There I am scanning my favorite web
pages. I click over to this year's deaths to catch up on any new fertilizer,
and I am stunned to see Bob Hope posted. I instantly check my 2 entries for
this year, and see him crossed off both. As I ring up my 3rd death, visions
of contention with the legends, Julie the Bitch, Edison Disco, etc.., start
dancing in my head.
I do realize though that it is April 1st. I check Yahoo news, Excite
news and finally the Rosetta Stone- the AP. I am left Hopeless. You
merciless, teasing bastards.
My time WILL come- Later
-Jon Tater
dear zach,
why is there never anyone in the stiffs chatroom? personally i think it
would be great to make use of it, since most other chatrooms i know of
seem to be filled with thirteen year olds having very unimpressive and
unimaginative cybersex.
if your chatroom seems doomed to failure, can anyone recommend a decent
chatroon to use instead?
cheers
-linda
Here is my entry for the Death Central cheer, if you ever get cheeleaders.
(Cheerleaders) "Gimme a D!!!
(Crowd) D!!!
Gimme an E!!
E!!!
Gimme an A!!!
A!!!
Gimme a T!!!
T!!!
Gimme an H!!!!
H!!!
Whadaya Got?
Death!!!
We can't hear you!!!
Of course you can't hear us -- we're fuckin' dead!!!
Your buddy in Puyallup,
-Dave Williams
PS Tell Effo he still owes me a mug
Dudes:
According to my calculations, Joltin' Joe's breathing streak ended at
30,763 straight days, not 30,783 days as you've posted!
BTW, a birth date - death date for each Stiff would be really helpful.
Keep on keeping on!
-flycow
Stiffies:
This blurb is obvious:
"The Late Early Wynn"
BTW, I figured out that the reason nobody is ever in your chat room is
because, naturally, it's a dead link.
-Mulch Monkey
Early Wynn
Wouldit be safe to say that this Hall Of Famer is now Late Wynn?
-Scott Levison
One of your pages has the name "Monte Henderson" at the top of it. Who
is Monte Henderson?
-Rob
assuming the universe is in harmony, all dogs wag their tails
after taking a shit, you cum before your girlfriend, & i never win
anything i enter, WHAT IF someone picked a bunch of known death row
( not the record label!), inmates who are scheduled to die this year,
would that be valid, esp. since they usually show up on the
wireservices; the more heinous the crime, the more likely to show up
before they die(so the newspapers can fill us in on all the gory
details, the whiter, more female, younger, & sex involved the wider the
coverage!), of course during (the vigil), & after? i really tried to
make 1 obnoxiously long sentence!
also, what about someone who has been dead for months ( from 98),
or years, but the body is found in 1999 & officially declared dead in
99, or is their official death when they dissappear, or soon after, etc.
etc.? thanks, i'll bet there are no death possibilities you haven't been
axed?
sincerelely,
-azbaboo (Baboo's corpus shibboleth)
hey, mal thursday here, record executive at Drop Dead Recoreds,
absolutely looooooove the candlelight vigil! you guys are great, give me
a call some time and maybe i can, uh, hook you guys up, y'know?
alright great. see you later.
-julie98
i love your site
-BENdia
I don't even know if us rabble are permitted to contribute death blurbs,
but....
Regarding the death of Boxcar Willie: "Snake-eyes, Boxcar."
I got a million of 'em.
-TH
does greg hicks live in philadelphia?
-RobtActor
Just a note to tell you guys how much I enjoy your deadsite. I run a dead
pool at my office and we use your t-shirts and mugs as consolation prizes
for the runners-up who miss out on the cash. We have a lot of fun with the
deaths as well, with e-mails like "Swam by her man" (Tammy Wynette) and "Mr.
Coffee, Unplugged" (Joe DiMaggio) announcing each new diver into the pool.
Anyway, you're entertaining dozens more than you may know! (Gee, how
flattering, huh?) Keep it up.
-Deb McBride
Jean Vander Pyl, the voice of Wilma Flintstone, has died, her son said
Tuesday. Her funeral procession will be the one that passes the same house
and tree every four seconds.
-asmithee
Thank you so much for the e-mail message. I just found your site several
weeks ago. It was interesting reading about who was still alive (not that
I would stop if I saw them in my headlights). You provide an excellent
service.
-gane1
Sorry there, Zach, but you missed a real natural for his blurb:
"What Kind Of Ghoul Am I?
-Frederick
Hey, you guys. The site is great and all that stuff.
Okay, enough with the sweet stuff and on to business. When did you
guys appear on Jenny Jones? I don't waste my time watching talk shows
but I want to see what you all look like! When is it going to repeat so
I can tear myself away from sleep and crap to watch it?
Thanks and stuff,
-Moochamoocha
i've just e-mailed my entry for the june lee jr, and i have a really
bad feeling i hit enter twice and mailed the same entry twice
please ignore the duplicate entry!
do i get a prize for being a stupid bitch?
-lindakim30
I did not get any response...maybe my comperter is screwed up. If you could
give me info. RE. previous e-mail, I would be grateful.
Your Canadian friend and advocate,
-gane1
If your day is over, mine has just begun.
I am a female mortician from the Northeast. I just happened upon stiffs.com
and have thoroughly enjoyed myself for the past hour. I am going to add you
to my favorites and will look forward to future additions.
-ribbi
I was wondering if you could compile a list of Celebes that died from AIDS
and Cancer. I am doing a research paper for school. All your help would be
much appreciated. Thanks
-Andy Fingland
hi albert. wazzup? i was watching dawson yesterday (on my tape that you
wanted to borrow) and i saw an episode of party of 5, and i was like, "wow!
what a great surprise!"
-SmaGelf
Mary Rockefeller
She should be added to the page. Not only was she notorious, getting
divorced from one of the richest people of all time, but she had a phony
middle name--"Tod"--please add her.
Thank you.
-Rich_Dubroff
DBT MAN ªº4¤ë¥÷³Ì·s¥Ø¿ý,¥XÄl¤F¡@úAýyúA dúAúA dúAýyúA
¼W¥[100¾l®M!!¥J²ÓÁ@,ºCºC¬ÝýyúA dúAúA dúAýyúA
qÁÊ½Ð¦Ü http://0939.to/man2001/
-a8859
DEAR ºô¤ÍÌ:
21¥@¬ö±z¥²¶·±¹ïªºÃz¬µ©Êªº°Ó¾÷, ±z¾å±o°½¶]ªº«n¶Ü
¨º´N¬O.............[¤j¦æ¬Pp¹º]
http://www.milejet.com.tw
p.s. ³o«Ê«HY¤£¬O±z¹w´Áªº, §Ú̦V±zPºp
-ºô¸ôªB¤Í@ms1.eranet.net
After perusing your site after having accidentally hit it, I have
concluded that you folks have far too much free time. Perhaps you could
focus your efforts in a POSITIVE way!
-dlcook
Humm, Mr Zac, how the hell did you hear about Al Hirt? I can't find one
news story right now - did you know before Al did?
-Delf
Hey Zach,
Did you guys kill the chat room? I must say I'm not surprised. Every time
I went there I was the only one there. It was starting to give me a
personality disorder (or maybe just adding to the ones that I already have).
-Mark
When my mom heard that Jack Kevorkian was convicted of murder, she
immediately called me and told me so I could start counting the days
of his hunger strike (she pretends like this dead pool is the most
awful thing but she's the one who has told me every time if someone
on my list has died). Anyway, I haven't heard anything on the news
about whether he is really going through with it or not. I have got
to know. Have you heard anything about it & are you already following
his progress? Please drop a line if you can help me at all.
Also, my damn husband changed our ISP again so I have a new email address.
This applies for my 3 lists: Pierre&TheCat, SiflNOllyRock1, and
SiflNOllyRock2
The old address was bungholia @ aol.com
The new address is [deleted for privacy]
You can now get a hold of me through that. Thanks Dudes,
-Molly
Stiffies:
Hey, looks like a slow week in the 'ol mailbox. Let me start
by saying I'm now willing to offer life insurance to any celeb who
wants to insure that they WON'T die in the upcoming year. Just pay me
the money and I'll put you on my list. It's tried and true. Out of 33
names, only three have kicked. (Joe DiMaggio whom we all hoped would
last til Jan. 2nd and were shocked and stunned that he held on til
March, Senor Wences who was only 103 years old and Harry Blackmun who
had it coming). Rates start at $15 a year.
Secondly, about this Columbine High School thing... I'm left
very confused! Mommy's a Jew but the kid walks around wearing swastikas
and she suspects nothing. Gets her hair done two days after the
shooting. Kids vow to kill all the jocks so they shoot up the library
(?!?), blows away the Christians as a consolation prize. Four guys and a
chick go to a gun store and the chick says SHE'LL buy the two shotguns
and the semiautomatic and nobody gets curious??? Then we have the Vice
Imbecile showing up at the funerals/photo ops in a long black trenchcoat
(hey, we can't alienate the Goth vote!) and Clinton vows that government
must do more to end the violence while he's in between bombing raids.
And I STILL don't understand how these credit card companies get
away with charging you interest AND a late fee. One or the other, okay
but aren't they getting just a bit greedy here?? Any lawyers want to
take this on, huh??
OK, I'm done.
-Mulch Monkey
hello ²M¾Ë
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ICQ:37116022
-ucs181734
...if any of you guys are really gay, why didn't you make it obvious
before devout heterosexuals like myself became involved with your sick
little charade, you anal-intruding fucks?
-Baron Samedi
I was just interviewed by a reporter for the National Enquirer who's
doing an article on dead pools. I suggested that she visit stiffs.com
and a few others to get an idea about the diverse world of dead pools.
I told her that we're not all a bunch of sick and twisted perverts. I
think she believed me!
-DGRAVES
Dear Candidate,
You were recently selected by The Office of Public
Affairs to be included on The International Executive
uild's Who's Who CD-ROM.
Our Public Affairs Office gathers information from many
recognized sources, including professional associations
and societies, trade organizations, newspaper and
magazine articles, professional reference publications,
web presence, and referrals from existing members.
As a highly respected professional in your field of
expertise, we believe your contributions merit very
serious consideration for inclusion on The International
Executive Guild's Who's Who CD-ROM.
To maintain the level of accuracy, we ask you to click on
the web address highlighted below and fill out the brief bit
of information required for inclusion. There is no cost or
obligation to be listed on The International Executive
Guild's Who's Who CD-ROM. All applicants will receive
a free listing compliments of The International Executive Guild.
http://208.26.69.200/members7/v90redir7g/24827.html
Remember, this site is for executives, professionals, &
entrepreneurs only!
My Sincere Thanks,
-Lorraine A. Michaels
Office Of Public Affairs
Hi Zach:
I'm a reporter for the National Enquirer, writing a feature on death pools.
I think I read that the site you run (Lee Atwater) is the largest and most
sophisticated on the Web and I'd love to interview you for my story. Pls.
feel free to e-mail me a phone number where you can be reached.
Hope to hear from you!
-Sherry Cremona
I'm a producer at CNN for feature reporter Jeanne Moos. We're interested
in speaking to you about your website stiffs.com for a story we're working
on, and had seen you quoted in an article from our research. Can't find a
contact # for you and the email links on your website weren't working, so
would you email me a number and let us know if you're interested in talking
to us? (We ended up getting your email address from Laurie Mann, who runs
the Dead Person Server). Look forward to hearing from you.
-Linda Djerejian
Producer
Great Page and game. One of the best Web pages I have ever visited. You
take our morbid fascination that involves the death of celebrities, and
you have converted it into a higher pursuit, the Holy Grail of funeral
knowledge, the ultimate put-down for ultra-snob celebrities, who really
did'nt give a crap about us when alive. But then when their turn to face
the grim reaper comes, so it's our time to make fun of them and make some
money in the process. Now that's payback!!! Say hello to that avatar of
mirth and mayhem, Fucko the Clown. Hail Fucko!!!!!
-Dr. Lizardo
Please check out my site. I think your readers would get a kick out of
it.
Warmest regards,
-John Pauley
I see F.T. Clown has bowed out as a correspondent, if his last message to
the world is to be believed. What the heck is a PR guy gonna do if he
doesn't at least try to communicate with the rest of the world?
Could it be that The Commissioner or the Bartender is doubling as F.T.?
(Note the use of the adjective "pimply" in things written by both F.T. Clown
and The Commissioner.) Maybe somebody there at Stiffs.com just got tired of
doing double duty.
-Dave Williams
Hello. I was messing around on the internet and typing up my last name on a
search program to see what came up on the internet when I happened upon your
site. I noticed that my aunts name is on your list, and being that she died
her name has been crossed off. I think it sick and disgusting that you would
encourage this behavior, worse yet that you make people pay to post their
filth and disregard for human life. You may not give a shit but the people on
your lists do have family and I was shocked and appalled to find my family on
it. I intend to look into this matter legally and I gaurantee you that the
first amendment was not created for this disgusting display. I hope you
realize that although it may be funny to you, some people do get hurt by
words. With no honest regard for your happiness I sign this....
-LuvMyM16
I enjoy your website.
-Cbusdawg
Don't if y'all respond to queries of this type, but here goes....After
we were standing around mourning Shel Silverstein the other day, someone
brought up "that guy" who died a few years ago. He's a children's book
writer (possibly poetry) with a Jewish-sounding name who probably did
his own illustrations. Any clue who the heck it might be!? I've tried
he Dead People Server w/no luck. Thanks for any input..this question is
driving us nuts.
-CLB
I see F.T. Clown is really having a tantrum. I still can't figure out why
the ronster's message sent him into orbit. It was pretty tame, compared to
most of the things people write to him.
Tell you what - I will be glad to take his place for awhile, and the price
it right -- namely free! I'll answer mail once a week, or more often if I
can. My replies will be courteous, free of bad language, pertinent and to
the point. Everything the fuckster wasn't. You can bill me as "The old
mellow guy." I'll drive your correspondents nuts because no matter what
they say I will be nice to them, although occasionally recommending therapy.
I think the dead pool is a cool concept and will defend it faithfully, even
to jerks like that guy luvmym16 who wrote such a jerky message. I promise
not to try to be too clever or cute.
Maybe a couple of weeks of that will drive F.T. crazy with jealousy and
remorse and bring him back to his senses, what few he may have.
Whatcha say?
-Dave
PS - I lied - it's not for free. I want a hat (and maybe a mug that hasn't
had toxic material in it.)
hey lizzard lizzard lizzard
-onna
I don't get it. Does this seem like a slow year or what?
Why are the rich & famous clinging to life this way when they are
certainly aware of how Americans feed on their demise? Why are we being
denied those really big deaths that make life worthwhile?
Sinatra did his duty last year. Who among the truly great is going to
step forth and take the plunge before _this_ year is half over?
Someone big, important, and totally unexpected is called for because
we need a surprise and I'm sick of waiting, dammit!
How come these folks are so selfish and self-centered?
I appreciate Gene Siskel's humble effort on behalf of the celebrity
community but come on! We deserve better!
Can't the webmaster of this site use his influence? The way it's
going, you might as well shut this dump down and cancel the damn game
for lack of interest!
Yours devoted,
-Morbid One
The creation of a hate list consisting of one name would be a true
public service:
Brandy
I can't take anymore.
She has stayed much too long and it's simply time that she go.
Before long, she will procreate and I think no one wants that to
happen.
When she was confined to the WB or whatever sanctuary for the
untalented she occupied, one could deal with her reasonably but in the
name of all that's holy, she has been released!
She must be stopped now and I see no other alternative. Sad, yes, but
there is no choice in the matter.
-Morbid One
Just a quick thought-
You guys consistently put up a high-quality product:
I can't help but check in every day for the
Blurb. My absolute favorite feature is Fucko Speaks.
You can't find that laboratory-grade
vitriol just anywhere.
However, since the Columbine shootings, I had a
thought: what if some seriously twisted
individual put down a list of people, then picked them
off in such a manner that they all received
nation-wide celebrity status? Or the people that are
currently really fearing for their lives
because of a stalker? I realize that what you are
doing on your page is firmly tongue in cheek,
but if someone did something heinous and then claimed
your page as some kind of demented
justification, I know that it would really come as a
blow to you guys. It would to me, at least.
Maybe you need to put an amendment in your page, or
maybe you need a disclaimer. The one
you have wasn't excruciatingly obvious on a cursory
look-through, so maybe it needs to be more
plain.
Anyway, just my two cents. Can't wait 'till Fucko
returns!
-Lil' Boy Blue
A Baltimore, MD sports jock used to have a phone-in contest he called
"Dead or Alive ?" wherein he would name a famous sports figure of the
past and ask listeners to call in and declare if the person named was
dead or alive. The contest was dropped from the show after a while
without comment - presumably the radio station management found it a
little morbid. Maybe you could develop a similiar contest.
There is a need for a service that would tell people when a specific
person was dead. For example I may give the service the names and
data on several people who I knew to be alive (relatives, business
contacts, old friends, schoolmates, neighbors, etc.) and when these
people died I would be notified in a timely fashion. I now currently
search a Social Security site to check on the status of a few relatives
that I don't have any contact with - but this is painstaking and a
nuisance. Your site would be ideal to cash in on this service.
Your site needs a search function so that one could enter the name
of some celebrity or person of note to find out their status (as to
whether they were dead or alive)
-tarsier1
please send all info.I came onto site for the 1st time today because i
was told Johnny Carson died today. Clearly it is not true because
everything else is current. Keep me posted thanks
-beenqueen
Hello commissioner,
Well, I see last week on the AP wire that Joao Carlos de Oliveira - former
Olympic Bronze medalist in track - is hospitalized, in critical condition,
and only responding to "painful stimuli". Thinking that this was a rela-
tively obscure pick, I put him down on my lists and was feeling very pleased
with myself. So then, of course, he dies over the Memorial Day weekend. So
just be aware when you get my lists that five of them will have this jerk on
them and he's already gone. Thank God for alternates.
This is the third unpleasant thing to happen to me while playing this game.
Like many, I got screwed over by Dan Quisenberry. But even worse, Dusty
Springfield let me down. I finished my first six month competition in Feb-
ruary in the lower half of the top ten, not in the money but not bad for a
first effort. I was feeling good about this and then Ms. Springfield dies
on March 2nd. Had she gone three days earlier, I would have finished third.
I played "What Have I Done To Deserve This" on my CD player that morning and
pondered my cruel fate.
Well, I just needed to vent for a minute. At least Bobb McKittrick survived
this weekend. But I sometimes wonder if the Gods are timing peoples' deaths
to spite me or something. Anyway, have a nice day and I'll probably be around
for the next pool to take more punishment. If anything else, I'm durable.
Have a good one,
-Bill Beckie
LOS ANGELES, June 2 (Reuters) - Famed female impersonator Charles Pierce,
whose deliciously wicked take-offs of stars such as Bette Davis and Mae West
brought him fame in America and Europe, has died at the age of 72, a family
friend said on Wednesday.
...We're confused. We thought that was Klinger, not Pierce.
-TimHarrod
Hey dude whats happening? Alls going well here in the city, but I'm
going to be here for another month or so. Lots of work, but having a
wonderful time. Went to a Knicks and Yankee game. Todd Greene threw me a
baseball to give to Eli, but he lost it the next day on the streets. His
Mother wasn't paying attention! How you doing? Playing any poker with
Gary? That was a fun game. If I ever make it back, would love to play
again. Haven't played any chess in a while. By now my month subscription
is probably over. Maybe I'll log on and see you there. Anyway, hope all
is well. If I have any friends left say hello.
-Suni
P.S-Do you know Lincoln's email?
Hey Losers,
When are you going to post the entries for the June Lee Jr.? Here it is
June 3rd and I have nothing to show for my five-dollar contribution. And to
think I could have bought two more bottles of Thunderbird wine with that
money.
-mash4
you people are sick.........
-gr.ops
Of course I heard that the Velvet Fog had rolled out (of UCLA Medical Center),
but have heard nothing of the funeral arrangements. I thought maybe you knew
whether it would be "Mel's nuts roasting on an open fire" (cremation), or
"Earthworms nipping at his nose" (interment).
Please advise.
Sincerely,
-Tim D.
Hi ghoul pool pin-up,
Love the spread in the rag! At first I thought it was about The Ghoul Pool,
wherein I participate, but I enjoy your site too and liked your and M.T.
Graves interviews. Nice pic too, Mr. Serious. Alas, no dissertation on your
PR guy, el Fucko, one of my personal favs. Bummer days.
Headline: "It's an outrage! Internet sickos are betting on who's next to die"
Sickos indeed! I would take umbrage to that statement if I didn't hear it all
the time from mi familia. As Web-Assistant on The Ghoul Pool (the other white
meat), my exploits and "hits" are kept to meself, as family and co-workers
think it's friggin weird. To which I say: Cybersickos are people too, dammit!
How's it feel to be all famous? Are you afearin' that people will now pick
YOU? Would that even count?? LOL.
Spelled with one m,
-Elizabeth
Greg, wake up Zach, his picture's in the National Enquirer! Typical
article re dead pools.
-DGRAVES
The Pope is gonna die
The Pope is gonna die
Hi Ho The Derry-O
The Pope is gonna die
-Kestra "253rd place, thank you very much!"
Dude, i have no website, hence there is no where to put your link. But
if you could just send me a sticker that would kick some major ass.
-TiklThis99
My name is Jim and I like sick shit.
-jccem
AGOSTINHO NETO- FIRST PRESIDENT OF ANGOLA
-emavela
Hi Rookie, i can`t seem to get your page, is always off. thanks . Frank
-(FJmoose))))))
i want to see the deads picture
-MISSLB23
I WANT TO SEE AUTOPSY PHOTO!!!!!!!!
-MISSLB23
Dear Sir or Ma'am:
Just wanted you to know that CNN had an article today and gave us all a
tour of your web site. So I just checked it out.
Great site - thank you!
-Jonathan
Hey stiffies:
I am a very new "convert" to stiffs, after seeing it on CNN. I gotta tell
you, it is great!!!!!! I haven't had so much fun in a long time. Another
great site is LACoroner.com, for you hard core stiffies! I hope to hear
from some of you, and learn of the best sites to visit on Stiffs.com. My
husband says "it figures that I would find this" (what does this mean, who
knows?). I enjoy your mail, it is fun to read. Those who don't get it,
well go home!!!!!!!!!!
See you in the morgue!!!
-Anne w/a Plan
It's late, I'm loaded, etc. Let's get to the point. I have an official
position with our "carinival", or the best that we can approximate in
Birmingham, Alabama. Don't laugh just yet.... My position is that of
Official Liasion avec The New Orleans Jazz and Heritage Festival, which is a
bunch of shit really, but the best one that I could find. I escort a bunch
of incompatiple and otherwise nasty set of creoles from the airport to the
hotel and I give them credentials. But fuck us, it's the credentials to the
N.O.J.&H.F. that are worth the labor.
All I want to know about is Jeanie Moos. I've had a schoolboy-crush on her
since they showed her ample bossom in that C.N.N. piece about the "Windy
City."
Please tell me about her -- are her ankles as thick as I'm afraid they are?
Does she keep her self clean and wear nice socks? Where's Mr. Moos? That
kinda shit...
What's in it for you is witness protection program status w/ the the NOJ&HF
next spring, or this piece of shit that we assemble here in Alabama.
Actually, it's not that bad. Tommorow night I have to decide between Bonnie
Raite, "Chef," and T.S. Monk. Monk on Monk (Thelonious, Sr. -- very, very
dead) is where it's at.
It's all who you know in this cold and brittle world.
And all I want is the inside on Jeanie Moos.
I gotta yank this slow Jack i.v. drip outta my right arm -- after all,
that's the one they take the plasma outta. No point in fucking up a good
thing.
Work w/ me here on this one
-ratts
sorry about last night's drunken e-mail. shit, i'm still drunk if that make
you feel any better. But then that small handfull of Percocets that I took
about fifteen minutes ago is starting to kick in... Nothing better for a
monster hangover than two cups of coffee and the aforementioned
medication...
all apoligies for whatever I said -- i'm not gonna even bother to look back
at that one. Anyway, I've gotta go pick up the mayor of new orlean's
four-foot-tall brother jaques at the airport.
again, all apologies
-John Augustine
I LOVE YOUR SCROLLING MARQUEE. LOL - IT'S A RIOT. LOL THANKS.
-NoniesMom
Stiffies:
Like many of you, I see names listed under "This Year's Deaths" and
ask myself, "Who the hell is that?""
I doubt many of you outside the state of Texas knows who Bob Bullock
was. He was a longtime Democratic Party hack that held two offices
that are probably more powerful than the governor is in our state. As
State Comptroller, he collected all the taxes and state revenues. As
Lt. Governor, he presided over the State Senate and controlled the
legislative calendar.
His most newsworthy moment came when he was arrested and convicted of
DWI (DUI for some of you) a few years back.
How ironic that on the same day Bullock's death was announced, a
story emerged of a 15-year-old boy catching a piranha in a central
Texas lake. If you see a picture of Bullock, you'll note the
resemblance.
Cute blurb, though.
-Mulch Monkey
Hello friends.
The last two blurbs are amazing.
-T. Switala
if you've ever been twisted you know how much fun that can be...
please add me to your mailing list.
i hope i can contribute my own small vision of dimensia.
boo.
-mike 6/19/99
Hi guys, great site :-)
You've probably seen that the old Cardinal shuffled off at 76.
After 23 years in the job you'd have thought he'd get a gold watch, his
employer thought abdominal cancer would be more appropriate....
Keep up the bad taste, the "Shinichi Suzuki" is my personal favourite.
Regards,
-Mike
Stumbled across ur site and glad i did. I havent laughed that hard in a
long time. keep up thge good work!
-MadTheSwine
Your site is so goddammed funny, I almost inhaled my cigarette and
choked on it.
Too bad I'm not famous. Think I'll go have another beer. . .
-dr_oznog
Hey again Stiffies. Here's wishing that my first e-mail qualified for e-mail
of the week, but alas I assume that I am not "clever or flamboyant" enough
for the rest of you stiffies. The "Pope" poem was kind of rude in my opinion.
I mean, after all, it is one thing to put him on a list (we all know he is
gonna kick off), but why publicize the fact, and why publicize and/or be so
absolutely rude about our standings. Maybe I don't know from Adam, I am new
to the game, but come on folks, it, in my opinion shows no class at all when
you let your "arse" hang out like that. I guess I was just raised a bit
better, but as I said maybe I don't know the rules of the game. If I am
supposed to be arrogant, etc, I am sure I can learn.
On to more fun stiffie stuff. One of these days I will share some of my prior
gross anatomy stories with you (yes folks, some of us were smart enough to go
to medical school ((enough arrogance fer'ye?)). Let me tell you, some are
strange, some are weird, and some are just plain funny as hell.
I still think your (now our) site is just too funny for words (thank God, as I,
as you can see, am short-winded!). My husband still tells me that this is one
of the sites for someone like me (again, what could that possibly mean ((ha!)).
He likens it to one of his football pools or fantasy football.
Well, I'll shut the trap for now, as my children (dogs, a 92 pound boxer and
gorgeous chow-chow) are demanding my attention, as are some trauma cases at
work, and some oncology at another hospital. Working in California, I have
some good hints as to who is well and who is not with celeb status, but I
ain't sharing (ain't is going back to my Texas vernacular).
Well, once again, here's looking at the dead!! Thanks for letting me vent
my frustrations about that I consider rude (arrogant), etc.
Again, for those who are fun on this site (which is abviously most of you!!!!)!
Let the dying keep on - and see you at the Morgue!!
-Anne w/a Plan
Dead before year 2000
Victor Borge (Intertainer from Denmark)
okay, that is my geth.
-Ingelise Zacho
From Denmark
Just so you know, the link for Entertainment Tonight on your research page
doesn't work. All I ask is that you not send Mr. Clown over to thank me for
pointing this out. I like my job, and I want to keep it for another few
weeks.
Yours,
-Mary Roth
Saw your pic in the national enquirer.
Good to put a face to the name.
Keep up the good work you spawn of the devil sick bastard :-)
-Ray Urie
Glasgow
Scotland
United Kingdom - Call it "England" and I will have to kill you ! !
DIE, mutha.
For Jean Claude van Damme.
-novotno1
You guy's are really sick just like 99% of my friends and me that 1%.
Where have all the good guy's gone ooohhh? Sounds like a song to me but
I just can't remember the words. Maybe I'll contact my dead grandmother
and ask her. She is out there somewhere over the hill's and through the
rivers. Sing sing a song make it happy all day long!!!!!!!!! Opps that
sounds like Caren Carpenter to me i don't feel to good maybe i'll just
purge......... Gross that's all folk's......................... Sonny
Bono is still alive is'nt he??? My mind I can't find it any where....
Blah Blah Blah Blah................... Just another blubbering
idiot............
-"Lynn Charles"
Anyone home,
"Momma why is there a big box with a man like granpa inside in here ?"
Can I join please
-Paul
hello there just wanted to say hi
hello there just wanted to say hi
hello there just wanted to say hi
hello there just wanted to say hi
hello there just wanted to say hi
hello there just wanted to say hi
hello there just wanted to say hi
-jerry26465
Zach,
I really enjoy your website. (What that sez 'bout me is open to conjecture).
I do visit it quite often.
As for Mario Puzo ..... I would have used this blurb ......
God made him an offer he couldn't refuse.
One of the, uh, joys of visiting your site is seeing how your "official"
blurb compares to the one I would have come up with. I was very close on the
Lionel Bart one ..... yours was "Consider yourself dead meat" and mine was
"Consider yourself one of the corpses" (parodying the line "consider yourself
one of the family").
I wish you continued success in keeping stiffs.com alive. :) And well!!!
-Ronnie Allen
add me to your e-mail list. if you have any funeral director lists,
add me to it.
-pant412
Dearest Zach, Greg, and Drew,
You all do realize that the clown is gonna seize up on ya'll some day like a
bone-dry 78 Chevy Silverado; and that one of you is going to have to bag him
while one of you is pumping him -- that is, until the E.M.T.'s show up and
spoil the fun.
For the clown's sake, you all need to dry run this maneuver every six months
or so -- kinda like a fire drill. As a matter of fact, I get my very own
half-sister to bone up on the same "contengencies" with me from time to
time. And I do the same to her -- even though it's not really necessary.
"Honey, I think I might be feeeling a lump here... might want to get this
checked out..."
Because we wouldn't want to lose such a talent as Fucko.
Ever.
But if we did, after ya'll had divided up his shit, would there be open
auditions for the vacancy? Or would we just have to wait for a white puff
of smoke to indicate that we had a new clown?
Respectfully submitted,
-John Augustine
I cant believe you used that lame-ass line for Mario Puzo... especially
after your Henny Youngman tirade last year
-tjb
Hi Greg: Thanks to AMC's Stanley Durwood I'm into the June Lee Jr.
Esophageal cancer ain't nothin to fuck with.
-Dave G.
Stanley Durwood
Yeah, you know about him, and he just made tonight's AP list, but I just
wanted to say that his funeral will be shown on all 12 screens, in Surround
Sound.
-mirich
now you guys know i love ya, but for fucks sake sort it out!
it´s not enough to be stuck out here in the arse end of nowhere in bloody
gran canaria with only stinking camels and fat badly dressed complaining
tourists for company, but when i finally get my shit together to send in
my september lee jr entry (cos i´m organised, right, cos i missed the
deadline for the last one and don´t want to miss it again), your crappy
select-o-matic shit (which obviously hates my guts) will only load as far
as some total unknown by the name of eddie arnold (i know i´m british, but
who the fuck is eddie arnold?). since the postal service in this desert
shithole is far from reliable, i sort of need to e-mail my entry.
thanks guys.
-linda, stupid british bitch in exile
how many pts for jfk jr.? does any-1 have them on their pool?
-FxckedOber
First there was Darryl Hannah , now JohnJohn sleeps with the fishes
for eternity.That's all I've got but it's fresh.
-Tycoon6407
I stumbled upon your website and its hilarious. Keep up your nasty work,
I'll be reading it. What are you guys, college students with lots of
exrta time??
-rrusso1
Hope you are Ok.
I dont know exactly what are you doing. I was just surfing the web
and firtunately you were infront of me.
Thanking you in advance hope to hear from you soon.
-uhuru
why i think sean connery will die [if he isnt already]
-mike4689
I really HATE when tragic stuff happens; and, of course, in a perfect
year no one would get any points; and of course I hope they're found
alive,
BUT
BUT
BUT
BUT...
Does Carolyn Bessette-Kennedy's body have to be found for me to get my
points?
Love,
-BYZANTIUM
P.S.: Am I going to Hell, or just Heck?
I think ronald ragan will die in a year or less
scott wailand of stone tempal piolets is a goner to
-JBONA
Zachariah,
You are truly SICK!!!!!!!
I howled with laughter as i traveled thru your website
btw......I thought that the Rhinio Compilation "The History of Funk,
Volumes 1-5" was an excellent primer on Funk Music. Thank you for your
efforts!
-Bob Davis
Kind sirs,
I have decided to attend this years award ceremony and have decided to start
work early on a kit bag of party favors -- as I'm sure you're aware, some of
these things take time to assemble because they are usually back ordered.
First of all though, I need to know if any of ya'll have any known allergies
to any prescription medications. Apparently Fucko doesn't, but I'm just
worried about the rest of ya'll.
Second of all, what would be the best airport to fly into, LAX, Ontario, or
Orange County? They all suck...
Thirdly, dates would be nice. Flying on award tickets can be dicey, so it's
best to book a year or so in advance.
And what about lodging? Can I just pass out at the venue or should I
actually book a room?
Thanks for the help,
-John Augustine
Hey all. . . I had a question for you. I visited your site some time ago,
and while looking around, found a photo you had that I thought was quite
funny. I have been searching your site like CRAZY trying to find it for
another laugh, but to no avail can I find it. Do you think you can help?
The pic is of an overweight, older man.. . . well, on his knees with one of
those dog funnel things around his neck (it was in black and white). Please
oh please oh please help me ASAP. . .I need the laughter!! Thank you!! =)
-Denise
well what a sad achievement!
how come every time i send you guys an email it makes email of the week
guess you don't get much mail over there
and have you fixed that crappy select o matic shit that hates my guts yet
love and camels
-linda (stupid british bitch in exile)
For Frank Sinatra
How about "Chairman of the Morgue"?
Great page, by the way. One of the funniest I've seen.
I can't believe that you have Bruce Hershenson on your death wish list,
along with Paul Moyer and Adam Sandler! They're on mine too. (along
with Steve Guttenberg and Ed MacMahon. And Bruce Willis. And Demi
Moore. And maybe throw in Tori Spelling, though thats too easy)
Thanks again for a great page,
-Jeff
Hey fellas....
Stumbled through your web site and I'm totally baffled being a web virgin.
What the hell is this anyway?? What exactly do you do here?? I am totally
clueless, could you fill me in?
Muchas Gracis!
-Donna T
can you believe it took the navy 4 days to find those guys? they have
nuclear missles that they can fire half way 'round the world and hit a
shoe box, how hard could it be to find a couple of dead kennedys?
-tommymac
Come on people! You guys list a water polo coach and omit retired Federal
Judge Frank Johnson. This guy was probably the most important figure in the
Civil Rights era South -- one of the major networks did a ten minute segment
on his passing last night, so I know A.P. had to say something. It's an
integrity thing here guys. And besides, we'uns down here in Alabama want
our native sons to be recognized just the same.
Otherwise, you all do a wonderful job. Except for that clown; he scares me.
-John Augustine
Man...that bozo in Atlanta really is a chicken shit. Why not face the
cops like a real man?
"Allegedly" offing his family then waxing unsuspecting pencil pushers.
What a wimp. Good thing he is dead at his own hands, too bad he wasnt
a celebrity on someone's list. Rest in peace you rotten worm bait. At
least he saved tax payers a bundle by doing the deed himself, otherwise,
he would have enjoyed cable TV and work out benches with some guy
named "Bertha" for eternity.
See, OJ, you are a real idiot,....all you had to do was blow your brains
out, and the freakin media would have sympathized with you. Double loser.
Even Fucko would be repulsed....Geez.
-Haynes
Your competition about which personality will be the next to die is
absolutely sick. How dare you mock death? Did you giggle and make
bets about how many bodies would turn up from the Interlaken canyoning
disaster? Don't you realise that celebrities are humans who have families
and friends whose suffering from such tragedies is obvioulsy beyond your
comprehension? Go and have your heads read.
-Anna
There was a great loss recently in the entertainment world. Larry
LaPrise, the Detroit native who wrote the song "Hokey Pokey" died last
week at the age of 83. Evidently they had trouble keeping the body in the
casket. They'd put his left leg in and.....well, you know the rest.
-MKAldin
Hey, how come this guy didn't make the list? Would simply having "Joe
Dimaggio" on your list get you double points? How would that work? Is
there already a "rule" that covers this? Just curious,
-mario bono
initial reports are the paramedics could have rescuitated William Shatners
wife if Bill hadnt pissed away the first 5-10 minutes after he found her
submerged by weeping " beam her up, Scotty"
PS i hereby testify that I just made this joke up today at lunch, as that
you may use it free of charge.
-Chris Ormsby
Zach:
Far be it for me to tell you guys how to run your site, but I have a
suggestion. I liked your blurb for Jennifer Paterson, but I thought an even
more amusing one would be "The Fat Lady sings" or something to that effect.
Enjoy,
-Brian O'Donnell
Hey Sexy,
I have a couple of lists for the Lee Jr, but I don't want to mail them off
too early (people seem to die at inconvenient times after all). However,
starting Monday, I'm going off to Oklahoma and losing all internet access
until August 30th. Enough babble--do the lists have to be to you by Sept
1st, or just postmarked? I'd like to return to digitalland for a day, but I
guess I could call my friends up for death updates.
-MA
I'm Lou Faarkennottin. I'm 98 yeaaars oldd..My finngers don't bendd too
good. If thaat is a problem then fuck you you younnnng bald claaam eaterss.
I got to get on with my list before my grandson comes in and drags me to
the expensive home he put me in.
1. Lou Faarkennottin
2. The Whore who was with me when I died (shes 71, oh la la)
3. Ronadl Reagon - at least we hope the bastard croaks, the bastardd. Did I
say he was a fucking bastard.
4. John Glenn the fucking bastard
5. Rose Kennedy - I would eat that babe in a New York minute
6. Michael Jordan
7. Perry Como, or maybe he's dead. He always looked dead. He grouted my 3rd
wife's rear shingles.
8. Art Linkletter
9. Another one of those kinds in that Different Strokkkkes tv show.
10. my neighbors fucking barking dog and stinking dirty noisey
children!!!!!!!
-jlogan
Dearest Zach, Drew, and Greg,
It's goddamn late...
But I think I've figured out this little game of ya'll's. There is no
clown. Rather, he is the alter-ego of one (if not all) of you -- I can just
see you all huffing on a brown paper bag full of contact cement and sipping
dry martinis while making all this shit up.
Of course the CIA, Masons, Knights of Columbus, Teamsters, and those cats
that hang out on that little piss-ant moon of Mars or Venus called Phobos,
are in on this little charade of your'un's too.
I just shit in my pants. Gotta go.
-Name withheld by request-
Can you give us anything on Jennifer Paterson who died in London on 8-10-99?
She was a TV chef with the program "Two Fat Ladies." Thanks.
-RAY157951
You need to scare the arrogant guy into realizing he's not replaceable.
Have some guest PR guys answer the mail. Start with me. I can do better
than that druggie jerk anytime.
-Dave
Dear Drew Scharlatt,
I'm a German journalist writing an article about internet death pools for
the German magazine "Tomorrow". I saw you were one of the organizers of the
Lee Atwater Invitational Death Pool plus two time champion in it! I'd be
very interested in learning more about the game and strategies and you seem
to be the ideal person to talk to.
Would you be willing to answer a couple of questions I have (either on the
phone or by email)?
I'd very much appreciate your help.
Thank you for your time,
-Ute Eberle
Don't you guys keep a list of people who are rumored to be dead
(but aren't really . . . yet)?
-towi
who in the HELL are you &where did you come from, not that ireallycare!!!!
hugs & kisses
-wowitz
Just to let you know what you probably already know, Strom Thurmond is in
the hospital. I believe he is having the ball of hate removed from inside
of his racist ass. I can't believe that he is still kicking around. Just
goes to show you what a deal with the devil will get you. When he gets to
hell I want to see him pickin' cotton and pulling a wagon chock full of
watermelons.
-Nick
Thanks to you all, (buncha old news print sniffin' freaks!) for the
entertainment. It had been a while since I visited Stiff.com, but I
received an e-mail update that reminded me to drop in! I laugh my ass off
everytime I check it out. Ooh, but I will steer clear of Fucko the Clown,
but I will definately check in to what he has to say about anyone else that
writes him. My mom is the one who suggested I check Stiff.com out, she
loves it! I even have the owner of the bar I work in scanning your pages.
She is a bit digusted, which is all part of my enjoyment of sharing this
with her!
Anyhow... Please keep it going! We love you out here!
-Sarah Jennings (Also a bartender at the only bar in our town...sad huh)
Hey. Nobody ever answered my last question about whether or not double
points would be awarded since Joe Dimaggio and Joe Dimaggio, Jr. both
kicked in the same season. Now I see that Willie Mays, Sr. is done.
I've seen the Say Hey Kid on TV recently and he's not lookin' too good
hisself. I think this issue needs to be addressed. What if both Ken
Griffeys died? Would they need to be listed separately?
Thanks for your time,
-Mario Bono
When are some really famous people going to drop dead? The recent
"celebrities" laying down for the big sleep are sorely lacking in notoriety.
This has become one of our favorite sites. Thanks.
-Benny and Sharon
Please put me on your email list for more exciting news about dead and soon
to be dead celebrities. How about Bill Gates? thanks,
-saxsax
Im hoping that the Spice girls die pretty quickly
loads of love
-Muzzy
Katherine Hepburn
Carolyn Kennedy-Schlossberg
The Queen Mother
Pope john Paul
Mariel Hemmingway
Martha Stewart
Joe Torre
Estelle Getty
Ronald Reagan
Bob Hope
-mhmirrione
Joan R. Braden died on August 29,1999. Her career included U.S. State
Department officer, public relations executive, magazine writer, television
interviewer and aide to John F. Kennedy and Nelson A. Rockefeller.
And in the meantime, she raised eight children. Her husband, newspaper
columnist Tom Braden, wrote about her and the family in the book "Eight
is Enough" -- which was adapted into the TV series of the same name which
ran 1977 to 1981. Of the eight kids, seven are still alive; the youngest,
Tom, died in 1994. She was 77.
When it comes to death, "Once is Enough".
-jmustain
Allen Funt...
Smile, you're on CanDead Camera
mine is better..
response should be sent to
-charsometimes
I haven't been able to find anything on Alan Ladd and Jeff Chandler.
Can you provide any information as to when they died and of what cause
and year.
Thank you,
-Harold L .Carrier
Bob Hope
Buddy Ebsen
Al Lewis
Jack Klugman
Ronald Reagan
Elizabeth Taylor
Kirk Douglas
These are that names I have chosen for the rest of 1999.
-AnthonyE
Hi Zach,
OK, it's 6:45 am, I'm barely conscious, and I hear that Raisa Gorby has bit
it, right? So I remember that I was GOING to put her on my final list - she
made the final draft of my bestest list "EB1" at #9 - but I replaced her at
the last minute with like, Vaclav Havel (he better friggin' come thru) 'cause
I thought she had a KIDNEY problem or something. And, I broke the cardinal
rule - I kinda like her so I took her off the list. I always said, If ya can't
high-five someone in the kitchen at work over 'em, don't take 'em. Screw that
rule! If they're sick, they're fair game, I say. No more Miss Nice Gal.
Leukemia?!??! When the F*ck did she get LEUKEMIA?!?! Jesus! What a crappy way
to start the day. I'm going to work to pout. Thanks for letting me vent.
-E.
zach-
i'm not sure what a dead pool is, but i'm assuming everyone on the lists has
to be *gasp* dead? newsflash: judith exner isn't dead, you fucking moron.
-ifaey
Dearest Zach,
Hate to bother you with something so seemingly trite, but where the hell is
the clown? It would seem that you guys have a very generous vacation
policy. If you guys also have fully matching 401(k)s, profit sharing, and
company cars, I damn sure want to apply when the clown goes to that great
big stomach-pump in the sky.
-John Augustine
I'm in your September pool as a first-timer. Was just wondering after
looking through some of your suggested research sites, where so many people
found the info on the impending demise of Raisa Gorbachev. Is this
protected info or something you would be able to share with a poor old
rookie who seems lost in the woods.
Humbly,
-THE CHOSEN
Amazing, we have one of thse in WI. Put me on the list.
-DRaffaelli
You guys have the greatest web site ever.
-Pam (still living) Jones
no disrespect, but i think, for george c. scott....."i'd follow you
glorious bastards into hell...." .......ok george, but you go first.
-tommymac
Re:
George C. Scott - Americans love a winner. As a general rule, however,
they are considerably less enamored with a 250-pound mass of lifeless flesh.
Aw, c'mon! That was a lame one! What, no Oscar snub joke? No
"stick your hand in the goooooo" joke from Patton? No Janette Littlefeather?
Bad website. Bad.
I don't pay you guys to waste my time with ----- oh, wait a sec.
Never mind.
-mbassdfw
Hi there,
I run my school's dead pool, and have just discovered
the obituary list on your page. It's rather
impressive, but you have missed a few major names from
the British Isles. As you have Jennifer Paterson,
Helen Rollason, and Alan Clarke, I take it you don't
ignore the Brit Stiffs, so here are the names you're
missing.
Giant Baba (February)- The second most important
Japanese wrestler of all time. 60,000 turned up for
his funeral.
Rod Hull (April)- Puppet guy, had a massive puppet
emu, that he used to goose celebrities with.
Including the queen. No joke. Feel arse over tit off
his roof when trying to fix his TV antenna so he could
watch the football (soccer)
Sir Alf Ramsey (May)- One of the most famous football
(soccer) mangers of all time. Managed England to
their only world cup win, in 1966.
Johnny Morris (May)- Kids' TV type, had conversations
with animals, and did voice-overs for the animals so
you could imagine what they might be thinking.
Biggest show was called Animal Magic. As funny as it
sounds.
Jill Dando (June)- Probably biggest news story of the
year in England. Holiday show presenter gunned down
on her doorstep by a mystery gunman.
Buster Merryfield (July)- Played Uncle Albert in Only
Fools And Horses, one of the most popular TV sitcoms
in UK history.
Bill Owen (August)- Played Compo in Last Of The Summer
Wine, the longest running sitcom on planet Earth.
Good fucking riddance.
Clive Jenkins (Last Thursday)- Trade union type.
If you need obits, this is what I came up with during
a sociology lecture:
Giant Baba- Baba black box, have you any rotting
Japanese wrestlers?
Sir Alf Ramsey- You only sing when you're living
Johnny Morris- Real life Dr. Doolittle now doing even
less
Jill Dando- Permanent vacation
Buster Merryfield- "What are you Albert?" "I'm a
corpse"
Bill Owen- De-compo-ses
If you need explanations, "You only sing when you're
winning" is a football chant, and "What are you
Albert?" "I'm a plonker" is a catchphrase from the
hifuckinglarious OFAH.
Feel free to ignore my shite attempts at humour and
use your own ideas. Do you have anyone feeding you
information from the UK? Do you want one? I really
have that little to do with my life.
Bi bi,
-Nico Passantino
Can you use a good distributor in South America?
-Jose Carr
Finally! Judith Exner has died!! Naturally, she's not on my list. (The
people who are selected for my list appear to gain immortality anyway.)
I might have had Exner on my list but I could have sworn the old whore
died 20 years ago.
-Tawney
Love this site after discovering it today.
If I may suggest one addition for the list:
Peggy Cass - Heard the buzzer and now onto the bonus round.
Keep up the good work.
-Jim
Other than an occassional taunting of Fucko or the periodical note from
Bob Hope threatening the lives of those you selected him, I haven't been
following the game as closely as I should.
However, a slow day at the office, bad weather, and a complete lack of
self-discipline led me back home. Well, that, and the fuzzy memory we
included old Judith Campbell Exner on Snag'em, Tag'em, and Bag'em.
Well, thought I had to share this tidbit from the AP Wire covering her death.
Apparently, Papa John was truly the role model Slick Willy claims he was for
Bill's oval office antics. Seems that "denial" is infectous. This, from AP
Wire, was attributed to JFK:
Former aides maintained that Kennedy had not had an affair with Mrs. Exner,
who was then Judith Campbell. Dave Powers, a Kennedy aide who Mrs. Exner said
had assisted in setting up her encounters with the President, said in 1991,
"The only Campbell I know is chunky vegetable soup."
Had JFK known about Wilford Brimley and the exciting new uses he found for a
warm bowl of Quaker Oats Oatmeal he might night have had to doodle his noodle
in that brothy bouillon.
By the way, our local deadpool ended Friday night prior her passing. Had she
done me the favor of dieing 2 hours earlier, I would have tied with 10 of 20
confirmed casualties.
So, to that end, I must agree with JFK. Exner was a bitch. To the end.
-Greg aka Snag'em, Tag'em, & Bag'em.
Oh yippee, I'm the Freak on a Leash for the week. Thanks boys! Between this
and being nommed to alt.humour.best o' usenet, I feel like I've finally
arrived.
. I'd like to thank my mother, Blythe Danner, and my father,
Bruce Paltrow. You like me, you really like me!
-E.
Sally Field for a day.
HEY!!!
I AM SORRY BUT I NEVER GET AROUND TO PLAYING..I WISH I
HAD TIME TO MAKE A LIST..MAYBE SOON..
I JUST WANNA AD THAT I COME TO YOU SITE ALMOST EVERY
DAY JUST TO SEE WHO HAS FOLDED UP ON US...
I A WORLD OF "GREEN PEACE-HOLYER THAN THOU-BASTARDS"
IT IS REFRESHING TO SEE YOU GUYS JUST DONT GIVE A SHIT...
ITS TOO COOL..
THE COMMENTS ON THE DEATH PAGE ARE NO HOLES BARED
FUNNY AS FUCK!!!!!!!
KEEP IT UP..
THANX.
-SPENCER OF THE I.S.L.O.
WHEN I CHECK THE LIST OF THIS YEAR'S STIFFS, I GO TO THE
OTHER LIST TO SEE HOW MANY DEADPOOL MEMBERS BET ON
THAT PERSON. HOW ABOUT PLACING THE NUMBER OF POOL
BETS NEXT TO THE CELEBS WHO DIED? ( PLEASE EXCUSE
THE CAPITOLS. I'M NOT FLAMING, MY KEYBOARD REFUSES
TO TYPE LOWER CASE LETTERS. IT'S EMBARASSING.
-jnik
Marion Zimmer Bradley doesn't rate?
-sbartholet
Could you tell me when Robert Ardrey, the anthropologist and author of
African Genesis and The Territorial Imperative, died???
-lonp
I THINK THAT JERRY LEWIS IS GOING TO BE THE NEXT TO DIE
-Aunbis434
WHERE'S MIKE PIAZZA ? ? !
-Eclypse
new nomination
jimmy page!!!
netaid 99 puff daddy and jimmy page introduced as 'jimmy page' =dead meat!
how do i place my bet for thegang land killing of the year??????? jimmy
page will die!!!!! also as a side line i'd like to put money on tony bennett
being brown bread very soon!!
speak to you soon
-lizzbarebitch
jimmy page is dead
-LIZZ
let me know when!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11
-LIZZ
HI,
This is probably the WRONG site to ask this question, but I'm at a dead
end (pun intended): I am trying to get info about a little-known actress
from the late 50's --60's approximately. I do not know if she is dead or
alive or anything about her career other than a few shows I know she was
in for 1 episode (Have Gun Will Travel, Star Trek, Perry Mason). Her name
was Arline Sax. Later she went by a different name or 2. I found this
info on the web by using her name, and only that info on her, nothing else.
It did mention the other 2 names she used, but I can't seem to find
my way back to the site no matter what search engine I use. The site was
not about her and her name wasn't in its title; her name just came up
inside.
Do you have any links to recommend for researching obscure actors/actresses?
Thanks for your time.
-LR
P.S Why don't you have anything to say about that wonderful (dead) actor
Richard Boone?
hi
am i in the right place to order a casket with a water bed lining? someone
i know has had one ordered for years, but i want one that has heated water,
powered by a small micro-nuclear reactor, so i stay fresh
if i'm not in the correct place for this request, can i ask you to send me
dtails of your 'dead pools', so i can order an entry when next available -
(ie WHEN DO YOU TAKE ENTRIES NEXT)
cheers strange people
-tim x
Wilt Chamberlain
Make that 20,001 stiffs
-WOBBER
HEY! I was looking on and found you have recipes for Earthworm?! I
would love to see them. I have a few of my own. Please send some to
me. I would be very grateful, in an underground sort of way.
-savor
Zachariah--or whomever:
Wait a minute---I just noticed the last lines of your 1st answer to me ( BTW
thank you), in re to Richard Boone---I understand his 1981 death making him
of no interest to you, but how is his performance in "Alamo" an insult to a
Texan, or anyone for that matter?
He portrayed Houston as a strong,
intelligent man who had the unfortunate task of asking those men to become
martyrs. It was a very depressing movie because of the depressing reality
of the situation. Who today could handle it better---Leonardo DiCaprio?
Ben Affleck? Did you see the uncut video version? I thought the worst part
of RB's performance was the brevity of it.
Anyway, I'm sorry you hate RB. He was a great actor w/ a lot of integrity
and he's still dead, if nothing else.
-LR
Where would you find a half-wit big enough to whine
about the fact that his (must be a guy, right?) poor
old auntie is featured on a dead-pool list yet who
finds it funny to profess his love for an assault
weapon in his e-mail address? Only in America.
Just this once, in simple English, comprehensible even
to the lowest form of life known to science, the
machine-gun fetishist: Dead pools do not kill people,
people with M16s kill people. Got it? No? Well, I
would have been surprised...
Sincerely,
-Toto
I get so depressed.
Every time I enter this site I find that you are still alive, what a
depressing thought.
There are alot of un-funny sites out there. There is a difference
between un-funny and un-eventful.......and you are the latter.
Get a life and die out.
Your's truely,
-Marion
Hello. I saw on the "blurb of the day" that you had Jean Stapleton listed.
Does that mean you think she died? Jean SHEPHERD died, but not Jean
Stapleton. Just wanted to clear that up. If I misunderstood the "botd",
then OOPS, I'm a dolt!
-Angela
love the site, but i wonder, {yeah fucko, i was BORN wondering so pop
another `lude you drug addled misfit!} why the big hate-on for kurt? i
mean, sure, his music wasnt so great, he was a heroin addict, his ol
lady alledgedly shot him, and he makes a good snack for the worms and
beetles six feet down.
so why? he rape your dog or what?
-jim
who,s gonna be a stiff after
goldburg gives him the jack hammer?
-jarntz
well of course its ric flair
the dudes out of his tree
some one get him a banana
he needs it
-jarntz
are you dude love from
the wwf?
-jarntz
do you like metallica?
-jarntz
how is the wheather were you live?
do you have a rottwieler?
-jarntz
i cant get thru silent hill
its a playstation game
-jarntz
i think my toilet bowl
is pozest it keeps on over flowing
-jarntz
im drinking blatz and hunting
sasquatch
-jarntz
Payne Stewart. Well, that's what happens when you play to hook every
shot. You finally hit one straight, and it just ruins your day.
-Mark
The blurb on Payne Stewart is one of your best in a long time. I'm
still chuckling.
-Ken
AKA Mr. Misrell 1, 2 and 3
Wilt.....
Has wilted. Had that on the board at work the other day. Feel free to
use it on your site. BTW, Cool site!!!
L8TERS,
-ERIC
That Payne Stewart obit was about the funniest fucking
thing I have read all year. You're a bunch of sick
mother-fuckers and I'm right there with ya--building a
better dead pool together...
-SeaPepto
Seattle
Reading the Payne Stewart obit nearly killed me. Genius. Masterpiece.
Bravo.
An amateur lurker like myself can only marvel.
Thanks.
-garyo
hey i no mony
-hen
Hoyt Axton
I had him in my first dead pool entry but he never quite made it so I
dropped him.
"Now he won't have boney fingers from just from work."
"He said he'd never been to heaven but he'd been to Oklahoma. Now's his
chance to make that comparison."
If that cat could talk what tales he'd tell about Della and the dealer
and the dog as well. But the cat was cool and he never said a mumblin'
word.
Man, they've been dropping like golfers out of the sky the past few
days. You still haven't said anything about Jean Shepard, either.
-jallen
Gentlemen:
I have a suggestion for your little smart-ass blurb on Payne Stewart.
Last night, the sports writers covering the Steelers/Falcons game -- a bunch
almost as cruel & creative as the Stiffs.com crew -- were playing "Write a
headline for the Payne Stewart obit." This was the winner:
"Stewart finishes six under"
Personally, I thought it was brilliant. Perhaps you think it's shit.
Whatever.
Keep up the good work.
-Jeff Domenick
The only thing sadder than the passing of Payne Stewart is the possibility
of what could have been. I wish he could have been on his way to a
celebrity golf tournament……..BOB HOPE's celebrity Golf Tournament...
Crashed right on Bob friggin' Hope... Yeah….. That's MY SportsCenter
Moment.
Bob and Payne would've had a great round. Both would have finished 6
under for the day.
-Nick
Thank you, Thank You, Thank You for your Abe Polonsky obit. I couldn't
agree with you more....You hang in there....
-Bill Boyd
Do I have the right Greg Hicks?
Are you married to Klara?
-BeckyinOlympia
hey man! i like Kurt Cobain!
-Sister2all
uhm, what's your sick obsession with Kurt Cobain and the fact that he's still
dead?
also.....
FIND SOMEONE NEW TO PICK ON YOU BIG MEAN WEENIES!!!!!
-Sister2all
HEY-HERE'S AN IDEA -HOW 'BOUT PICKING ON SOMEONE LIKE...
HMMMMMM...... I DUNNO.. NOTORIOUS BIG OR WHATEVERTHEHELL
HIS NAME IS ... LEAVE KURT ALONE, STINKY POOP!!!!
-Sister2all
Kurt lives on in all of his fans and in all of his music. so why dont
you fuckers just lay off?
-Alucard996
You couldn't come up with something better than that for Payne Stewart? How
about "It's a cinderella story. He's in the hole! He's in the hole!" ala Bill
Murray from that cultural icon of film, Caddyshack?
-RTShepler
Here lies Greg Moore,
Too fast out of turn four,
No Greg,
No Moore
-Dsabres
hi,
I dont speak english!!!!!!
i dont no anything about any shit. I am a brasilian poor. I'm a really
fucker south american crazy and yabadabadoooooooooo!!! barnie man!!!!!
I have a jeep car. and i will put this sticker in my car!!!! Please send me,
or i will sing "la cucaracha"and "Ipanema girls's" for yours.
thanks, guys!!!!
-rtapaula
What do you suggest having Greg.
-SOUPYILY
please explain more
-SOUPYILY
HI, MY NAME JANINE WENTZEL.
I LIVE IN SOUTH AFRICA.
WELL, O.K., CHEERS THEN
-trilogik
I just want to complain about Jenny Jones being "as dumb as a rock." I
feel you owe rocks everywhere an apology.
Rocks have served many useful purposes over the years. Much more than
can be said for Jenny Jones.
Lastly, I have met many intelligent rocks in my time, including my pet
rock, Cliff, who I have had since the mid-seventies...
Thank you,
-Gary Lee
Build a man a fire, he`ll be warm all night; but set a man on fire and
he`ll be warm the rest of his life.
Hey Zach,
What with the recent spat of office shootings, has anyone referred yet to the
Seattle Xerox shooter as a "copycat" killer?
Just wondering.
-E
I can wait until next year to join, even if I have to roll over in my grave
to get to my laptop. Notify when it's time to cash in my chips for a chance
to forecast the fate of famous figures.
-Swim
Dear Stiff,
The candle for DENNIS RODMAN looks just
like a penis with hot wax dripping on it !
Keep up the good work.
-Brian Forte
Tucson, Arizona
p.s. you may use my name or penis as needed !
How 'bout adding Paul Harvey to the hate list? That guy's an ancient bastard
and I'd like to know THE REST OF THE STORY about him for a change!
-SuSuQu
JESUS CHRIST! Finally! A stiff! I'd given up hope.
I feel funny calling him Viv under the circumstances.
Is it me, or is this the driest damned year that ever was?
Yrs., champing at the bit,
-Wednesday
Just a quick note to say bravo on the rules change. I for one was a little
sick of getting my ass kicked by deceased people I had never heard of. Sure
you're going to get some backlash like Rick the Bastard on the message board,
but I hadn't heard of one of the people listed...and all I ever do is watch the
History Channel. True I'm pretty high while doing it but that only serves me
to concentrate in full force. Keep up the good work.
-DJtheDJ
Hi,
I would absolutely love lots of free stickers so that I could spread the
word about stiffs.com. Unfortunately, I don't have a website so I can't
use your link button. What I can do is stick lots of stickers around the
streets , which would be classed as an act of vandalism and I could get in
shit. I could also stick them in people's cars: moving advertisements
without spending a lot of cash! You know it makes sense!
Thanks
-Jenny England
P.S Please ignore the fact my email address says Jennifer. I am not trying
to copy that annoying bitch Jennifer Lopez, it's just the address my
college made me have. While I'm on the subject I feel she is a prime
candidate for the dead pool!
Dear Zach, You must be getting lots of emails about the new rules! So, I
know you're extremely busy, I write to give feedback, it's ok if you don't
reply! Just wanted to say that I feel really relieved about the new rules
because it really was getting out of hand with the weird, obscure names on
lists. Even though I was doing it too, I never felt good about it, Knew it
was not in the true spirit of the game, But I wanted to win so thought,
"this is what you gotta do". Trying to beat them at their own game. It
seemed that V.P., M.T. always won because no one else really challenged
them at their own game. But then things escalated, kept spiralling up into
a state of Insanity, as you know. People who are famous for having the
worlds longest butt hair or something like that. Insane. Mental. It was
just not making sense any more. Sometimes things get out of control and
you just have to take life by the balls. Thank you for having the guts to
do so , and in a very fair way. It seems like the new plan is judicious
and well-thought-out. Time will tell, People have a way of wrecking things
though (the human race always ruins everything) and so maybe someday
you'll have to tweak it again. But most importantly, You have eliminated
much (but not all, probably never eliminate it all, which is probably a
good thing actually) of the "gray area" consisting of people who've done
notable or important things but are not really Famous or widely
well-known. There should always be a little bit of gray area because
things are always changing every day. I thought you would be doing
something like what you did but it was hazy in my mind. I knew that some
people would bitch no matter what you did, so that didn't surprize me. I
think some people will have difficulty grappling with the uncertainty of
picking names that may or may not be approved by the Committee. But that's
part of the excitement, taking that chance. Some people might take it
personally and get mad and want their money back if their picks aren't
deemed Famous enough. But time will tell. The new rules do make it harder,
but that's good, because if a bunch of people got 10 stiffs & had to split
the pot, That would not be Fun. People were digging up all these liver &
pancreatic cancer victims & stirring them all together like a dog's
dinner. I wish to apologize for my role in the debacle. It was like a
group insanity that I somehow got swirled up in. Sorry. Thank you for
fixing the game and improving it. I will for sure play in the Big Game
2000 because now its a whole new ballgame. Sincerely
-Diane Goodman
Who is Kathryn Schoonover, and what is the deal with Kurt Cobain? Yes, I
know that he's dead. Seems like his wife would be more fun to make fun
of.
Cheers,
-Ripley
In a world full of prodigal children, why Rick Monday?
thank you..
-Rob
You know, UGA V IS a celebrity...
I know, I know, he's only a dog. But not to University of Georgia fans.
Anyway, UGA V has croaked of heart failure. He will be buried in the southwest
corner of Sanford Stadium in Athens, GA in a concrete vault. Here's a URL for
more info on UGA:
http://www.uga.edu/gm/archives/ArcUgaPaws.html
I'm sure if you decide to add him to the list, that someone will get a kick out
of it.
-sac
hello Zachariah Love
i am sridhar from india interested in web app
development. i am interested to learn cold fusion but
i am not getting the software(trial copy). i got ur id
from cnet.com it seems u have a good explosure to
coldfusion plese send the site address to down load
the coldfusion software and if possible please send me
some material (attachments) .
hoping the fastest reply
From
-A.Sridhar
Alvin Cash died. Sang "It's Twine Time". If you post, how about the
obvious: "It's Dyin' Time".
Thanx for keeping your site up-to-date, unlike those who shall remain
nameless residing in Philadelphia.
-massallen
STICKERS
ON MY SNOWBOARD COULD I PLEASE GET 2
-csfhay
So you include the pop singer and the talk radio man as famous
Michael Jacksons...but not the two British ones?(The chief
executive of Channel Four Television,who was born the same
year as the singer,and the general recently in command in Bosnia).
I've thought about compiling lists composed entirely of namesakes.
John Gardner the author of Grendel is dead,John Gardner the author
of retread James Bond novels is alive,I'm not sure about John Gardner
the former HUD secretary and Common Cause founder.
There are three Sir Peter Grahams...former chairman of Standard
Chartered Bank,retired general,and Parliamentary Counsel.
Can make a scorer's life interesting...
-Louis Epstein
I paid for two, and I will e-mail later in the month for the 3rd and free
entry.
I have been running a dead pool since 1989. I am going to refer a lot of my
regular players to your site.
It's about time. I wish I heard about your site earlier.
-Doug Keating
Hi Guys,
Sorry about the credit card. Don't know why it did not go through. I will
send you guys a check.
Loving the Dead Pool.
Hey, my roommate has a brain tumor. Can I take him??
Cheers,
-Michael furillo
Madeleine Kahn, 57: she's tired...dead tired
-chumley
add me to the pile. All my friends talk about this, so I thought I'd see
what its all about.
-Tinker2
it's twue, it's twue!
-randsdye
For the list....
Madeline Kahn. Oh, sweet mystery of life, at last I've found you...
-thebinders
Matt Drudge is dead?? This is on his web page. Check it out. After all
I was the one who told you guys Arnold Palmer's bought the farm.
-jwhalen
This stuff is funnier than hell.(oxymoron). You called me a what?
-Jinsco
"Madeline Kahn It would appear that Gene Wilder, the one with the dick
they call the "ovarian cancer wand," has struck again.
"
THAT IS SUM FUNNIE FUCKIN SHIT!!!!!
-aftt
The Gene Wilder "ovarian dick wand" was just plain mean! Shame on you!
That's fuckin' Willy Wonka you're talkin' about!
Seriously, though, another good quip for Madeline Kahn would have been
"She was twired...she needed some west." because as you all know, she
sang that little number in Blazing Saddles...
-webmaster
A simple question : How tall is Pat Sajak in his stocking feet?
I can't seem to get my hands on that little bit of trivia. Anyone must
be out there in cyberspace, willing to give me an authoritative answer.
Thanks loads to Mr., Mrs, Ms. or Miss Anon.
-bonpavan
Hi!
Do you know the web addresses for celebrity grave sites?
Thanks!
-halitosis1
Dear Gentlemen:
As a public service announcement, I would like to take this
opportunity to tell you of the death of one Joseph Heller, author of the
novel Catch-22, as broadcast by the AP.
I'm not registered in any death pool, either one of yours or any
other for that matter, but I was hoping that you'd have the funny blurb
up on the "This Year's Stiffs" site.. Well, so much for that. I would
think that Heller was finally caught by Catch-22.
Regards,
-G. Bergen
Ah come on! Mabel King's blurb HAD to say "Rog......I can't breathe."
Go ahead and use it, I'll only charge you a kwahter.
-Dee
my car is covered with playstation stickers and a picture of fearra fauset
and the word slut right under the pic.send to [deleted for privacy] for responce.
please send the sticker
-JimVoodoo
Hello Guys,
I heard about you from the Booker & Brady Show on B97 fm
here in New Orleans. I would really like to learn more so here's my e-mail
address: [deleted for privacy]. I look forward to hearing from
you real soon. I will put your button on my home page as soon as I finish
it . Thank you ............................
-angel_heart4057
Hi,
First of all I love the
site, as do my sick, under-employed friends. And it is my first stop
when researching recent deaths. Why would he be researching recent
deaths, you ask? Don't ask.
Anyway, I was lurking around the bottom of the death list and, though
I've seen the note hundreds of times, it actually registered on my
concious mind for a change. It says that the stiffs are listed in
chronological order of death. Which might explain why I sometimes come
by and find a name I expected to see at the bottom is actually 2 or 3
names up between names I read the day before. (Yes I come here most evey
day. What does that tell you.) I am assuming that this is done because
the actual death occurred before others that were entered previously,
but wasn't made public until after the other deaths were. Or am I
reading too much into this?
In any case, it got me to thinking, what happens if a death becomes
known well after the actual death has occurred? For instance, a NY
Jets/Giants fan loaded down with beer and hotdogs drops his 300 pound
butt into his seat and falls through the concrete stand into the hollow
caused by the decaying of Jimmy Hoffa's shrinking corpse. Or maybe we
find that Bob Maxwell's corpulent coil surfaces in a dumpster in Toledo
. . . Ohio, and has only been dead for a week, cause of death: Living in
Toledo. In the first case, do you count as the time of death the actual
confirmation, (ie: He's dead, Jim. And look, all the flesh has rotted
from his bones. Must be some kind of parasite.) or do you count the
scientifically estimated time of death, (Thereby possibly upsetting past
players who might have won if there'd been a body.) or do you just wait
intil some hitman's death row confession and use that date? And in the
second case, what do you do if the death turns out to be a hoax, (see
www.whothinksthisshitup.com) or in an Amelia Earhart type scenario, when
the body never turns up at all, and there isn't any likelihood of foul
play?
And what about Elvis? (OK, I admit, I really DON'T care about Elvis. If
he is alive somewhere, I hope he's living off Social Security. Besides,
does anybody really think he's alive after the whole Lisa Marie/Michael
Jackson thing?)
-jon benson
Hey!
Your website is pretty fuckin' funny--are you guys based out of Los Angeles?
So am I. Anyway, keep up the good work!
-Jackie
Greetings Zach,
Wishing you and your stiff staff a very Merry Santa's Birthday and Happy Gnu Ears!
-Elizabeth
Guys, some Limey punk is using the addresses from the
stiffs.com mailbag for dead-pool spam (see attached).
What is this world coming to?
Bummer about Curtis Mayfield, what?
Cheers,
-Toto
I dont know which one of you guys wrote the "This years deaths" section, but
whoever is bored to tears by Kubrick's movies I feel sorry for you for not
being able to spot and enjoy true talent.
-MARINAJ
You're right, I didn't use 4 digits for the year (like it says on the
entry). You must get sick of all the questions of people that don't follow
the directions (like me). Let the dying begin--Saturday.
-Jim
what happened to the "people on death row rule" ? mumia abu-jamal ? this
MOTHER FUCKER DESERVES TO DIE !!!! he FUCKING killed a cop ! while many
idiots consider this a good thing, get the friggin facts ! shut the Fuck Up
Paul Newman, Ed Asner et all who oppose the death penalty. i'm from the
Philly area and am sick of Hollywood pukes supporting this piece of SHIT.
how many people actually know Danny Faulkner was a Philly cop ? we got the
death penalty lets use it !!! viva Texas and Florida.
-okeefe66
hey zach ........just lettin you know that Sarah Knauss just couldnt
make it to 2000.......guess she'll fuck up some 2000 lists
-rickterps
Let's hear it for Sarah Knauss! Not only did she live longer than the
Brooklyn Bridge is old, but she settled all arguments about famous or
not famous, before some of us whining so-called pundits of expiratory
punctuality challenged the veracity of the High Commissioner, by taking
the permanent six-foot Southern vacation.
Now there's a dame I can go for.....she's real quiet, too.
And now back to the real world where we ask the musical question....why
two, Kay? Why not three?
-Richard Meredith
Stiffies:
Forget Y2K. What's really scary is that a certain popularly-chosen
death-pool person checks out mere hours before she would no longer be
eligible. This follows by hours a 50s TV icon. No doubt, the guy who
stabbed George Harrison had ten points riding on him.
Yeltsin resigns. The Pope stays in his bulletproof digs. Bob Hope will
probably go into hiding until his golf tournament. Fortunately, Ronald
Reagan is oblivious to all this hysteria.
Call it Die-2-K.
-Mulch Monkey
Tried entering ...got several msgs about status of my credit card and
yet when I tried entering the information again noticed my nick name was
being incremented, Stiff Willie 1, Stiff Willie 2, Stiff Willie 3.
Since I never received confirmation that any of these were accepted, I
certainly hope that I have indeed been entered once not twice and not
three times. The clock is ticking down toward the deadline, and if it
wasn't for the alcohol and dobbie, I would be upset and the millenium
would be starting not as I had hoped for.
Please let me know my status in this fine event...... Gotta go now the
aliens are landing in the side field and I must meet them. Thanks lots,
bye.
-Stiff Willie
Time & Space Engineer