Dear Lee et al,
Just received my invitation to dead pool party.
Must send my regrets as I must work at an Animal Emergency Clinic that day
to deal with death and destruction on the canine and feline level.
From the early illness reports looks like 97 is going to be an exciting
year for the Dead Pool, though 96 will be hard to top.
Thanks for all the effort on your parts,
Sincerely,
-John M. Jones DVM
Grove City, PA
Crazy... crazy and SICK!... Crazy, sick, but most amusing nonetheless...
may I add a link to your page on my Web site?
-Vicki
Hi fellas,
Greetings from the Great White North.
Thank you for inviting us to this year's party. Regretfully, my wife Linda
and I will not be able to attend. We would've loved to be there, especially
to see the looks on your faces when you see the names on our entry.
However, the snow is just too deep around the igloo for us to get out at
this time.
-Will & Linda Shank
Toronto, Canada
I am compiling my list this weekend.
-Jim
Awwwwww crap.
Ok then
-Jim
Hey!
I'll say whatever the hell I want, whenever the hell I want, about whomever
the hell I want!
Burgess Meredith is dead! You hear me? He's a dead man!!
And so is that old fart friend of his, what the hell's his name? Jimmy
Stewart!!
There should be an addendum to the official rules of this game: "He who doth
not show thy face in public, nor walketh in another's presence, after
acheiving fame and fortune, for a period of (oh, let's say) five years, shall
hence forth and forthwith be deemed 'the walking dead,' and should be good for
at least 1/4 of a point."
But then again, what the hell do I know? I'm not even playing the damn game.
I would, but the only dying celebrities I can think of never seem to die.
Plus, everyone thinks they're already dead. Where the hell is Jessie White,
anyway? Alive or dead?
Please don't sic your lawyers on me. I'm only joking, and my four
outstanding (and I don't mean fantastic) palimony suits are killing me! And
how they make those suits out of palimonies I'll never know! (badoomp bah!!)
Gotta go.
-Strike (or Anonymous if this letter's going to get me in trouble)
I have this fantasy.....When I get real famous, I want to die and be included
in the Dead Pool! Me and Pat Sajak, just picture it!
-MarketJWD
Hi there!
I too want to play this great game of stiffs...what do i have to do
first? How do I start playing? Please tell me! My Adress is
[deleted for privacy]
Bye
-Ernst-Otto Dumke
USED TO SING THE BLUES WITH LEE AT SIR JOHN'S ON JACKSON BLVD.
JIMMY REED LIVES
THE BLUES AND BB LIVE
AND THERE IS NO EXCUSE
NO EXCUSE AT ALL FOR THIS
FOR LEE LIVES IN MY HEART
AND IN MY SOUL
AND IF YOU THINK HE IS DEAD
YOU ARE SADLY MISTAKEN
HE LIVES IN EVERY FT JACKSON SOLDIER
WHO EVER HAPPENED INTO SIR JOHNS
HE LIVES IN BB'S MIND
BECAUSE
HE DID MORE FOR THE BLUES
THAN YOU WILL EVER DO FOR ANYONE OR ANYTHING
SO
I TAKE GREAT EXCEPTION
TO YOUR TAKING LIGHTLY
HIS NAME
FOR WHATEVER PURPOSE YOU MAY HAVE
LEE ATWATER WAS A FRIEND OF MINE
AND I REALLY DON'T KNOW WHO OR WHAT YOU ARE
BUT I HAVE SOMR IDEA
YOU ARE SOME PUTER FREAK
JUST TRYING TO GET SOME ATTENTION
SO IF YOU EVER GET TO CHICAGO
GO VISIT THE CHECKERBOARD LOUNGE
ASK BUDDY GUY TO PLAY THE GUITAR FOR YOU
MAYBE THEN YOU WILL UNDERSTAND
GO DOWN TO BATON ROUGE AND ASK FOR TOBY TYLER
GO ASK GEORGE BUSH IF LEE STILL LIVES
AND MAYBE YOU WILL LEARN
WHAT LEE ATWATER WAS ALL ABOUT
AND WHAT HE IS ABOUT TODAY
LEE IS NOT DEAD
HE LIVES ON AOL
HE LIVES IN THE HEART OF GI JOE
AND EVERY OTHER SOLDIER WHO EVER HEARD HIM SING
HE LIVES ON JACKSON BLVD
AND IN THE HEART OF EVERYONE WHO APPRECIATES
THE BLUES
-KPRIII
But who is 'Ellie Neswater'?
-fmarkus
Dear Mr. Atwater:
What could be more important to the subject to which you
subscribe then earthworms. They play an important part in the death process;
and so I have made it my life's work to travel to the graves of celebrities
to collect these fascinating creatures.
If you are interested in purchasing worms from celebrity sites,
I have these available:
1) Morey Amsterdam
2) Jackie Robinson
3) Phil Silvers
4) Zazu Pitts
5) Dezi Arnez
6) Ethel Merman and many ,many others
Also, I have compiled a cookbook with many delicious recipes for earthworm
cooking.
Keep on truck'in
-Rhineherdt Plowski
Richard Berry died. He wrote the tune Louie Louie
-Marty
I do believe that that is six less feet that deng will have to dig to
get to America
with regards
-Chris F. and the Chich Man
In memory of the old butcher, and in hope (barring repentence and
atonement, of course) for the other murderers on my "wish list," here's
the appropriate passage from the Good Book, which I posted on my web
page for him:
-----------------------------
Psalm 58
1 Do you indeed decree righteousness, you rulers? Do you judge the
peoples with equity?
2 No; you devise evil in your hearts, and your hands deal out violence
in the land.
3 The wicked are perverse from the womb; liars go astray from their
birth.
4 They are as venomous as a serpent, they are like the deaf adder which
stops its ears,
5 Which does not heed the voice of the charmer, no matter how skillful
his charming.
6 O G-d, break their teeth in their mouths; pull the fangs of the young
lions, O Lord.
7 Let them vanish like water that runs off; let them wither like trodden
grass.
8 Let them be like the snail that melts away, like a stillborn child
that never sees the sun.
9 Before they bear fruit, let them be cut down like a brier; like thorns
and thistles let them be swept away.
10 The righteous will be glad when they see the vengeance; they will
bathe their feet in the blood of the wicked.
11 And they will say, "Surely, there is a reward for the righteous;
surely, there is a G-d who rules in the earth."
----------------------------
-James K. Mattis
http://home.earthlink.net/~jkmtsm/index.html
great game -How do play?
-WellsMax
1.Jimmy Stewart 2.Byron Delay Beckwith 3.Richard Widmark 4.Ben Hogan and
Byron Nelson (exacta) 5.Captain Kangaroo Keeshan 6.Ted Willams 7.Olivia
DeHavilland 8.Stephen Hawking 9.Roy Rogers 10.The Pope
-Max Wells
Canton,Ms.
I sent in a list.Explain the $7.00,please.
-WellsMax
looking for an old friend
-Mel Morton
Dear Lee -- XXXXOOOXXX
Too bad you're not alive today.
We could listen to you bitch about how CORRUPT, SELF-REGARDING and
CYNICAL the Clinton White House is!
We could hear your take on Vince Foster.
We could see who you'd bet on for 2000!
Gosh Lee, Washington just hasn't been the same without you.
On second thought, yes it has. Same old shit. Just one less vicious
redneck joining in the fun.
Sit tight, baby. Tupac's on the way.
-H. McComas
MY MY MY
NO ONE WENT AFTER LITTLE SOFIA ROSE STALLONE.
I CAN SEE YOU PEOPLE ARE GOOD,
BUT NOT SO SICK AFTER ALL.
AND TO THE GENTLEMAN WHO PREDICTED MY OWN UNTIMELY DEATH
I CONGRADULATE YOU...
INDEED I AM DOING MY PART,
EATING MYSELF INTO THE LIGHT, YOU COULD SAY.
INDEED I WOULD EAT A LITTLE ROSE IF THEY WOULD LET ME.
vaguely yours,
-MEATLOAF...MAR 97
My current e-mail address will soon be inactive. For awhile I can
only be reached by snail mail.
Please do not send anything to my old addresses aas I will not know
how I'm doing in the pool.
Thanks
P.S. I'd rather you didn't put this message on the mailbag page
if that can be avoided...otherwise...hi everybody! I'm going to WIN!!!
-Andre Dupuy
Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha. Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha. That's fun! Let me be the first
German to compete, please!
-Guido Keller
New prediction.....
This just in...... ***** J.J. Walker ****** ................
-J. Chad Barrett
Dear Zeeches,
I suck at this game.
Love,
-Berni
How can I join in the fun?
I have a list:
1. Bob Hope
2. James Earl Ray
3. Mother Teresa
4. Jesse Helms
5. Frank Sinatra
6. Walter Cronkite
7. Boris Yeltsin
8. The Queen Mother
9. Roy Rogers
10. Strom Thurmond
-dustbunny
Tell me how to enter a celebrity's name ? I have a good one. My net name is
hvncnw8 or DLASnyder.
-DLASnyder
I was delighted with your site. It's a much better concept than my
Jesse Helms Mortality Toteboard page,
http://compassnet.com/aussie/jesse.htm
which, after all, only tracks the likelihood of one old buster
departing this veil of tears. I will immediately update with a link to
you here, for the benefit of my patrons.
-Aussie
I PREDICT RAY CHARLES IS GONNA KICK IT SOON !!
-Brandon Mckenzie
I was under the impression from the "news" that our Famous "bob Hope"
is already dead, but well, I am not sure. How Do you Confirm this? Do
you have a listing of the OBituary some where? I also want to get in on
the FUN!! I love the web site because ( I am 25 yrs old) MY Mother Would
Freak if she saw this and I always get a KICK out of life when I do
something she "thinks" is MORBID!! (Big Evil Giggle).
Thanks
-Hollow_Moon
Id like to play. My favs are pat paulsen and boxcar willie. And dont
forget burt reynolds.
-randy ross
I just want to say there are a whole lot of Democrats (including ny
self) who worship your memory. The "jumpercables" remark was the
best!!!
-Joseph DiSano
just one question, do you live in D.C.?
-Ian Smith
Well guys here are my top ten stiffs for '97 :
1.Frank Sinatra
2. Vincent price
3.Elizabeth Taylor
4.Jerry Farwell[hopefully from AIDS]..LOL
5.Billy Graham
6.Johnny Cash
7. Chris Farley
8. Dick Clark[if he's not immortal]
9.Queen Elizabeth
10.Tony Randell
You guys are soo sick!!! Its great!!!
thanks for listening,
-Julie
It appears that Bubba from Sanford and Son died recently check out this
site : www.pimpz.org/~brady/foxx.html for the details
-jlokey
I might point out that, having been in the political arena, I knew Ted
Kennedy. I spoke with him on several occasions on the Hill, and he was
a nice guy... In fact, on more than one occasion we got hammered
together and then drowned our dates... (well, not really.) In any
event, it never kept me from placing him in my dead pool.
-Greg T.
pisser site!
-Photohause
Hi, I don't have any idea what I am doing and I've got your thing searching
something through internet. I just wanna say more power and wish you luck
today and to the future.
-RCatequist
LOOKS GOOD....GOES DOWN SMOOTH....HAS A SLIGHTLY BITTER
AFTERTASTE...........AND THAT GOD FOR THE NATIONAL LAMPOON RADIO
HOUR............FRANCISCO FRANCO STILL DEAD.....OR DID CHEVY RECYCLE
THAT ONE TOO............ANYWAY STICKIT TO UM.
-Wm R.Leslie
Tasteless, offensive... we need more sites like this.
-Warren Beath
Dennis James is dead. He died the same day as that other television
announcing genius, George Fenneman. You might remember him as the
spokesman for some television life insurance program such as 'Veteran's
Life' or with some other similar sounding name. He also hosted or
announced for several game shows.
It's interesting when people die.
-Scott Robins
I could be wrong but I think Mel Torme, Rose Kennedy,
Allen Funt, and Benjamin Spock have already gone to thier "Eternal Dirt
Nap".
-1CFD
Found you thru "Washed UP" and you are absolutely marvelous!! Lee Atwater...
hhahahhahahahahahahahah... too too funny...
Thanks for the hoot. I needed it tonite. And your link page is chock
full of neat places to play.
Hugs to all of you... and don't change a thing (please)
-Marilyn :)
I want to enter the following:
1) James Earl Ray
2) Mother Teresa
3) Bob Hope
4) Mel Torme
5) Ronald Reagan
6) Larry King
7) Mike Tyson
8) Mike Wallace
9) Andy Rooney
10) Don Ho
It's my first entry so be kind.
-The Suthern1
Hi,
I've been intrigued by death pools for a long time, and only last
weekend got a bee in my bonnet to launch one of my own. I found your
site when researching the topic, and was in hysterics as I read it. The
long and the short of it is that I stole some of your rules, most
notably the Pol Pot Provision, which I didn't even have the decency to
rename. I have linked my site
(http://pw1.netcom.com/~jlugar/chalkout.htm) to yours and have admitted
in the text that I plagiarized most of the rules. I hope you'll
determine that the scorn of my friends is punishment enough.
Sincerely,
-Jennifer Lugar
LEE
Who are you?
-Peter Millar
Dear Sirs,
I am always happy to see some true humor in the death of the famous and
infamous and would like to pick my own list for the 1998 Lee Atwater Deadpool
Season.
Please add me to your E-Mail list at [deleted for privacy]
What a great idea, $11 bucks for a whole year of fun, its cheaper than taking
the family to Target for fine dining.
Anyway, I look forward to recieving you entry and official rules for the 1998
competition.
Sincerely Alive,
-Chris Peneguy
Just a technical question concerning the Dead Pool. I've been
speculating on my pics for next year and have decided on Brett Butler as
a definite. Would I then get both the baseball player and the actress?
Did I just give away my secret angle?
Anyway...has there ever been a bigger week than Cousteau, Mitchum,
Stewart and Kuralt? I'm predicting another huge week in the fall where
Hope, Sinatra and Reagan all meet their demise, causing dead pool scores
across the internet to reach dizzying heights!
-Eric
What the hell's wrong with you people!
"Grandpa" Al Lewis is a walking dead man!
Also: Have you seen Jan Michael-Vincent lately? He has a hollow eye
socket and gets in a car crash every weekend!
'Nuff Said!!!!!!!!!
-Casey Shepherd
Good fun! How can I enter in '98 (in the betting, that is)?
-Georg Mathisen
Please remove the Javascript scrolling status bar
from your dead pool page. Now.
-Michael Mantel
PLEASE ENTER ME FOR THE 1998 CONTEST. IM DYING TO GET A SHOT
AT THIS. GOTTA RUN GOT A CALL FROM ANDREW CUNNANAN.
HMM. I WONDER WHAT THAT NOISE WAS?
-CIPRO
Are candidates on death row eligible? Some have lived longer than a good pancreatic
cancer case even longer.
-CIPRO
Man, what a great site! Why couldn't I have discovered this last December?
I could have been obsessing all year long.
For my own amusement, if I were to jump in now: (it's 7/25)
10 James Earl Ray
9 Mobuto Sese Seko
8 Bob Hope
7 Ronald Reagan
6 Marlon Brando
5 Martin Landau
4 Chris Farley
3 Heavy D
2 Louie Anderson
1 Clayton Moore
Keep up the great work!
-Not Todd
good morning Lee,
I know that I am too late to play this year in your magnificient
pool. But if you could keep me informed as to when and how to play for
next years tourny it would be appreaciated.
lots of fun,
-nathalie
Just read your 'Casualty List' and maybe I ought to get a life or something,
but I haven't laughed that hard in months! Keep up the good work!
-Crys24robn
Hey Lee --
How's the guitar playing in.... well, Heaven or Hell?
Your old pal from R-B days.
-AWPatt
What about making a Jimmy Hoffa Clause.
-Jason Holford
you do not have my blessing
-Jerry Steiner
Dead Pool Vote-1997
BOB HOPE
-Lauren Jensen
ONE WHO I DID NOT SEE ON YOUR LIST BOB DYLAN. WHY NOT WITH
A HEART INFECTION? AT HIS AGE 59? HE COULD KICK ANYTIME.
-Joel Sicard
Hi.
GREAT site guys. Do y'all actually have jobs? This looks like it would
take up all of your time.
Anyhow, how can I join the Invitational for '98? I gather by the name,
I have to be INVITED. So what do I have to do? Prove my worthiness by
scampering through an obstacle course? Or, do I need to answer some
Jeopardy-like questions?
Please let me know - I REALLY want to play.
Hey - I also have a small suggestion. Maybe you should include a rule
that doesn't allow people to enter the names of convicted felons who are
scheduled to die within a given year (God knows, Timothy McVeigh isn't
going to be given a stay - talk about a sure bet.)
Ok - I am done begging now. Just remember - I have just moved to a new
city and don't have many friends - an invitation to the 1998 Dead Pool
would mean SOOOO much.
Again, great site.
-Flory B. Ellis
Hilarious. You guys should put The Web Magazine on your Christmas fruit
basket list since that's how I (and undoubtedly countless others) found you.
Your blurbs about this years notable goners actually made me laugh out loud,
something I normally reserve for after my second or third shot of Jack Daniels.
I'm a little surprised that nobody has (to my knowledge) put Kieth Richards on
thier list. Frankly, even a passing glance at him would lead one to believe that
he is in fact dead but just to stupid to fall down. Perhaps the next Rolling Stones
tour will be his last. And that would be just fine with me because then I could go
back to using drugs since Kieth's death will send contraband prices plummeting
into a range even I can afford.
By the way, was Andrew Cunanon in the pool and if so did he have himeself
and Versace on his list; and if so does it count if you participate in the demise
of those you've listed (2 down, 8 to go; oops, wrong order)?
I have bookmarked your site for posterity.
Thanks,
-Tony
I'm cheering now for Lari!!!
Re: Frank Sinatra!
START SPREADING ... the neeewwwws, I'm feeeeeling just fiiiiiiiine .... right
from the very heart of it ... my ticker's stroooooooong .... since I could
make it here, I'll make it ONE MORE YEAR ..... it's up to you Strom
Thurrrrrrrmond, DIEEEEEEEE!!!
WOW ..... I suppose it would be in bad taste to forward it on to the Death
Pool, don't you? :)
-MmmikeeE
Hi,
My name is Teka Cook (Chambers) and I am looking for my birth mother. Her
maiden name is Marilyn Bertha Zachariah.
She was born on the reserve called Tylnjea in Ontario. Her mother's name
was Gladys and her father's name was Walter Zachariah. When she was a
teenager she was adopted out to a family. She ended up in B.C. when she
was in her early twenties. She ended up pregnant with me in 1969. I was
born at Grace hospital in Vancouver on Febuary 27/ 69. My birth name was
Tammy-Sue Zachariah.
If you have any information for me could you Email me at [deleted for privacy]
or call me at [deleted for privacy].
Thanks for your time.
-Teka Cook (Chambers)
Dear Stiffs.com,
I find this competion to be a very interesting idea, it seems like
quite a challenge. I have some questions, can an Australian enter this
competition ? and if so, are Australian celebs allowed to be used as
picks? I didn't notice anywhere how much the enrty fee is. It's no
problem for me to have a cheque made out from here in American dollars.
I look forward to hearing back from you soon.
Thanks,
-Steve Boag.
*oh my* *oh howl* *flutter*...her royal highness the Princess Albacore
justs loves your page...perhaps we could start a little side betting on
death by accidental causes...say drowning...remember Natalie Wood?
*wink*.
The Tuna Fleet would simply adore linking your page to our own home
page: Buttweasels of America...if you would like to check it out
beforehand...we will be delighted to send you our URL...you may send your
request directly to our home page...
Take care
*hugs and kissy thingies*
-HRH Princess Albacore
Proud Member of the Tuna Fleet
hey lee,
im in a local dead pool game with 5 other guys. ive gotten my
ass kicked for the last 3 years. dead last (if you pardon the
expression), every year. i need help. do you know of any victims i can
claim to at least make a little run at the leader. im not in your game
so it wont matter if you give me any of your secrets. thanks,
-wayne
Dengue is an acute febrile disease characterized by sudden onset, with
headache,fever,rash and joint and muscle pain. Rarely fatal in adults-so
don't count on it taking Jane out.
-M.A. Bailey
Love the idea for the monthly pool guys, but the text on the new mailbag
page is too small to read comfortably.
-Not Todd
GET A LIFE!
-MrsHewey
Zachariah Love,
This weekend I saw a movie and as the credits ran at the end I thought I
noticed seeing Zachariah Love as electrician. Is this you? The movie was
"Inventing The Abbotts".
Just wondering. . .
-Becky
Hi. If it's not too late to add a name so late in the year, I had a premonition
that the actor Robert Wagner will be shot and killed within the next month.
I dunno. I've had these 4 times in the past, and haven't been wrong yet.
-Muffy
NEWS FROM THE ASS-OSIATED PRESS: Well Gooolie, who would of thunk it?
That high-rollin', husband swappin', snake charmin', Princess Die finally
got what's commin' to her. I always knew that Pavorratti was a snake in
the grass, three tennor my ass; that, pizza spinnin', olive oil swimmin',
butt crack grinnin' bad boy was riddin his hog drunker than a skunk
tryin' to git a photigraph of that princess die gittin on in the back of
that Vulva built fer six when all hell broke loose and that Harley went
hell for leather tryin' to save that princess Die from a'crashin'. All I
can say is I got that pavoratti all wrong. He's just a good ol' boy just
like ol' Biily boy; Carter and Clinton that is.
-Joe Cool
Zachmeister, Dude of All Things Dead:
Great, and I mean TERRIFIC Web site. Can't wait to tell all my friends (well,
those who aren't circling the drain) about the pool. Rest assured, I'll be giving
quite a bit of thought to who (or is it whom?) I shall peg in October's monthly
pool, much to my employer's chagrin.
This, my friend, is what the Web was designed for.
Rest in peace,
-Hoss Minkman
P.S. How 'bout that vaunted Dodgers bullpen vs. the Texas Rangers this week!
Couldn't have happened to a nicer bunch. In fact, if I get my wish the entire
Dodgers organization, including former manager Tommy Lasagna, will make
the list. And soon.
Hello
I am Eric Wittersheim from paris, currently staying in Sydney for
private purposes. I was sorry to see that the section "where did you
hear about the dead pool" didn't include the following possibility :
"Drew, your cousin in law from LA told you about it when he was in
Paris". I'm preparing seriously my first list for 1998, but you don't
give a shit about this I suppose?
I was writing you in case you could give me Andrew's e-mail number, or
give him mine in Sydney where I'm lonely (in fact it's because I need
his skills to establish my own list...).
In case there are several Andrews, well, this one is the one who signs
"Drew" and is (was) very fond of Jeanne Calment.
Thanks for anything you could do, and bravo for your creativity.
I'm just worrying that americam imperialism will neglect the very famous
french celebrities I'm about tu put on my list...
Cheers
-Eric Wittersheim
Goodbye English Rose...
Though I never knew you at all..
you'll be missed by all of us
I wish you would have took the bus...
Looking forward to 98
-Steve
Thanks for responding so quickly to my e-mail request to get a copy of my
list. Also, I would like to thank you for taking the time to clarify my
"Punker Brewster" question. I had to laugh while I was reading your
extremely datailed resonse to my inquirey. Why, you ask, was I laughing??
Because we're talking about an extremely healthy girl here. Have you seen
her lately? She could breast feed a capacity crowd at the Rose Bowl!!!
Well, I guess that's not the point.
Have a great day and keep up the great work.
-Christian Stephens
Time for another cheer for Lari..whoever that is!
Latest Version of Ol Blue Eyes NY NY
Start spreading the news ..... I'm WAITING to die .... right til the very
start of it ... the brand new yearrrrrrr! Don't worry, I can wait ... til
Nineteen Niiiiiiinety-Eight ..... but before then ...... so loooooooong,
MADaaaaaME! (Chiang-Kai-Shek, that is)
-MmmikeeE
dear mr. love i'm writing again because it seems that another of my
selections for the october lee jr. has decided on a dirtnap. the problem
being that it is only the second week of september.
isn't there some way to recieve credit for these...as my percentage thus
far is .250. thats good enough for the majors....if not the hall of
fame....
just curious, again,
-dave w.
Thanks Zachariah!
Here's to hoping!
On a whiny note, I thought Burgess Meredith was gonna party with Bob Hope
at the New Year's party for 2,000 just to piss me off. I was gonna put him
on my list. (I swear!) "That's Amazing!"
Thanks again!
P.S. Here's a little "ditty" I made up for you. (Sorry, I didn't have time
to wrap it!)
People come and go each day, folks pout and pray and cry.
But those of us "contestants"; we can't wait until they die!!
Those people in the spotlight know we're anxious; you and me.
They dodge the list, the Reaper's kiss, and hold on stubbornly.
But everybody has to go, to leave and lay in peace.
In life there is no purchase plan, it's just a short term lease!
So pick your people wisely, they might just hang around...
There names aren't any use if they keep walking above ground!
-Tre
Just wanted to tell you how much I enjoy you Dead Pool. I know it's sick
and morbid but at the same time it shows a great display of intellegence
and humor. And thanks for showing Mother Teresa the respect she deserves
-Joe and Maria Norris
Greetings...
We started a low-end Pool at work today. Best sleeper pick of the day:
Jesse Timmendequas, the NJ slug who raped and murdered a little girl and
thanks to this, we have "Megan's Law" in NJ and various versions throught the
lower 48. He was sentenced to death, but our guy figures he'll never make
it, even though he's in solitary confinement.
For now.
Regards!
-JeepNH2NJ
Your pool is so funny I wish I had a change of pants. The only
problem with your mailbag is NO HATE MAIL. I would send a list
of picks, but there would be too much overlap. Fun fun fun.
Maybe Todd Bridges'll kick soon. He didn't look so good last
I saw.
I look forward to more news. Hell with the rest of this year's
stiffs. The only really IMPORTANT person to feed the worms this
time out was Mitchum, whose movies have not been run in tribute
on tee vee nearly enough. Bastards. Stewart ain't fit to eat the
corn in Mitchum's doo doo.
-Reverend Ed
Howdy!
My friend and I started a Dead Pool after watching the dumb Dirty
Harry movie of the same name, and I started one here at work. A guy
here at work stumbled across your site while we were trying to make
sure that Eddie Albert wasn't dead yet. There I was, working
completely alone when I find out there's another (longer running) dead
pool out there. Stuff like that makes me proud to be an American.
In ours we choose 12 names and a Lucky 13 Wildcard of someone we know
who isn't expected to die. My grandmother is on my new list, but she
doesn't count for your list. It's nice to see another Dead Pool, even
if you aren't allowed to choose elderly relatives.
We aren't betting money though. I set it up so the overall winner
gets a ham. First blood (death) on the list gets 50 slices of Kraft
American Cheese Singles (tm). There's a bonus for death by suicide of
a large Slurpee (tm) and a giant pretzal. Death by murder gets you a
pack o' bacon.
Some of our Lucky 13 Wildcard picks include a 30-year-old guy who's
morbidly obese, lives at home with his parents, doesn't drive so his
mom takes him places and waits in the car, and suffers from
depression. There's also a guy with a penchant for drunken driving, a
homeless punk rocker speed freak with just a couple of teeth in his
head that everyone in Sacramento knows, and a couple other people who
have a tendency for receiving ass-kickings from strangers.
I tried to submit something for your monthly list, but it wouldn't
take it. I'll have to wait for my boss to get off his computer, so I
can try again.
--Archbishop Dave uh..."Smith"
You know, I did have Prince Charles on my oops-didn't-include-a-check Dead
Pool list. I think I should get some near-miss non-points for that, don't
you? (Damn IRA, they're never doing what you expect them to be doing...)
And, if I'm not wrong, I'm already down two on my October mini-list. I'm
just not cut out for dead pools.... Meanwhile, James Earl Ray just keeps
getting better and better.
-giselle
On Tue, 16 Sep 1997 11:59:25 -0700, you wrote:
>Dave-
> Received your entry for The Lee Jr.'s October edition. Good news and
>bad news. We've already told you the good news. The bad news is that
>this little contest of ours, like everything else in the free world, is
>completely dominated by Americans and the United States thereof, around
>which all things revolve. What this means is that while we're certain
>both Bill McClaren
What you don't get 5 nations rugby on PBS - you haven't heard such
wonderful phrases like 'He kicked that like a sack of rice' and 'He is
as mad as a giraffe'
>and Paul Daniels are big stars in the U.K.,
fatuous little shit - not big star - I'll concede that one
>Yes, it's true that Britain was once a
>great and powerful empire, but, sadly, it's gradually deteriorated into
>a pathetic little island where everyone talks funny.
kettle pot black (fill in the blanks)
>In short, you're
>going with eight names in next month's contest. Eight of the best,
>though! We imagine that this news probably doesn't thrill you,
No I've decided to sacrifice the budgie in my disgust - he's for the
blender on the 1st of October (P.S. can he count as one of them if I
make him a star by doing it live on the internet?)
>but we
>hope you understand our position. Of course, if you're well and truly
>outraged by the unfairness of it all, you can always just get together
>with all your pale-skinned,
I've just come back from a holiday in France where my pale skin turned
bright pink then a splotchy shade of brown. On the day of saint di's
funeral I was getting well wrecked (drunk) in a bar in L'Orient and
singing the praises of the driver (it was his home town) who managed
to get rid of that unstable media junkie who couldn't stop hugging the
planets perceived untouchables.
>unemployed buddies
I have a job and every time I leave the office for a stroll at
lunchtime some dumb yank stops me to ask directions. Don't they teach
you to read street maps in the USA or can't you cope with the fact
that we don't lay our streets out in boring grids.
>and start your own
>friggin' Dead Pool, how 'bout that?
I already think there is one in the UK
-David Chamberlain
Zachariah,
I would like to introduce you to a provacative book. This is
a series of intimate correspondences between two extraordinary
people. Callassa Canali and David Mario Callan.
Callassa is thirty years older than Mari. The awareness she
has allowed him is incomprehensibly vast and related to their
identities and origin which has been shared together
through a period of time spanning eternity.
Essentially, Callassa and Mari carry what is most easily
explained by the word "immortality". When their human bodies
die, then part of them which has always lived is freed to enjoy
perpetual existence. They are gods or aliens in human form.
Their substance is explained herein.
The book is based on a series of extremely controversial
recitations by, David Mario Callan, in England, where he
demonstrated the existence of his muse. Neither the characters
nor the statements are fictional.
If you desire an autographed copy
of this first, unusually confrontational volume
of poetry and intimate letters please remit
the amount of $12.00 in check or money order
made payable to; Callassa.
Author's address:
1293 Sanderling Island,
Point Richmond,
California. 94801
Thank you very much for your time and interest in reading this.
Sincerely,
-Callassa
Just to let you know that a one-man show based on the life of Lee
Atwater opened in New York this week and was reviewed in Tuesday's
NYTimes. Thought you would want to know.
-Amelia
Participants--
"I write to you today, the representative of a team in grief, in a
country in mourning, before a world in shock". With these words, Team
Cummins' skipper, Michael announced the passing of yet another player from the
first place team.
Red Skelton was a particular favorite of the team. After all, everyone
loves a clown. Well maybe not everyone. Most people love a clown. Okay, a
handful of people love a clown. But no celebrity is universally loved. For
every Spice Girl and member of Hanson, there's a Michael Flatley or Yanni.
When standing erect, Red Skelton was five feet, six inches tall. He was
a funny man. He was a lovable and funny man.
Team Cummins would like to thank the public for the thousands of cards
received following the untimely death of Mother Teresa. Expressions of
condolence, like "you're going to hell", "I wish you'd join her", and "where
the hell is Calcutta?", all helped us through a most difficult time. She
truly was a "People's Mother". Not to be confused with a "Bad Mutha". The
saddest part of all is that she had finally found happiness with Dodi
Al-Fayed. He had planned to take her away from the glaring lights of
Calcutta, and live with her in splendor in his Malibu estate. Why was she
taken in only her 87th year?
Barbara Walters had this to say: "As a journalist I never talked about her.
No one knew we were friends. I had lunch with her several times in "Mother's
House" in Calcutta. Once in awhile she would call the office and say, 'Just
tell her it's Mother of Calcutta.' And we all laughed because we all knew who
it was. She had promised me that she would do her next television interview
with me."
Katie Couric added: "There's Cindy Crawford! Tom Hanks! Tom Cruise!"
Mary Hart said: "Coming up on E.T., Hollywood mourns for Mother Teresa. And
later, a sneak peek at the new Victoria's Secret Calendar, plus Vic Tayback's
heroic fight to land a role in this decade."
We are strong and will persevere, but please know that your words of
encouragement made our darkest days bearable.
-Michael W Cummins
God bless the fine work you fellowss are doing. You will be blessed many
times over.
I have been attending celbrity funerals since moving here. It's pretty
great. I have to be pretty discreet so the cover isn't blown. I can't
believe how easy it is to go to these things. Its interesting to see the
famous in a srious or somber mood. So far I've attended Dorothy Lamours,
Morey Amsterdam and Brandon Tartikoff.
I got to escort Bob Hope and his family out of Dorothy's. He's still in
physically good shape. I think will see another year or two out him. He
did start singing to himself when he was getting into his limo. Morey's
was incredible. They had all of the old timers get up on the alter and
do a eulogy. It was one of the best events I've ever attended. I'm sure
he would have loved it. I got to help Uncle Miltie out of the Synagogue.
He's still sharp as a tack. Let's give him at least 5-7 years.
Brandon's was a lot more somber. Lot's of crying. The big name there
was Andy Griffith. He's a stocky tall guy but seemed to have some
physical problems. One to two years tops. I again cast my only
potentially verifiable vote to the man from Mayberry, NC.
Red Skelton alwaays looked ancient. I met him in Las Vegas. He seemed
pretty sharp. Oh well! (Ceremony is private)
-jamesabeck
"$100,000.00 Reward" for ex-Dayton Power & Light President
my girlfriend, and my 77 year old parents injected with
the AIDS virus. He has also kidnapped my niece. For their
picture and more details goto
members.theglobe.com/hollyworth/
-Hollingsworth
Your site is the best - great writing and great links!
I check it out regularly to keep up-to-date on celebrity deaths as I run
an extremely modest deadpage of my own for our very little pool (can I
put a link to your page there?) It's at http://www.wincom.net/lgould
But enough flattery - I'm writing to tell you of a very cool Avengers
link that you might want to put on your page (that's IF you're an
Avengers fan, I guess): http://www.ee.ualberta.ca/~dawe/agengers.html
Anyway, keep up the good work.
And if you get a chance to reply - please let me know how I can enter
next year's contest.
Thanks.
-lgould
they come in 3's
so we are due one more...
skelton and the guy who died last week...great actor....of course
i cant remember his name now...and i am not dead....
just found your page...
i think Gore already fits....
and finally....
the first time in history that the Pres and Vice Pres...have each had
an attorney representing them for possible crimes....is this a great
time or what...
-hotone
If Mrs. Hewey doesn't like this web site, she shouldn't have surfed
here. I think it's very neat!
-dolek
Damn! I read on the sick ticker "David Brinkley hangs up his earpiece
once and for all . . ." and think, what HO! Brinkley dead? and go
recalc the standings and so on, then I gaze upon This Week in Washington
this morning and Brinkley's there as well preserved as ever! Perhaps
"hanging up the earpiece" is an ambiguous expression, but gosh! I
thought you had a scoop! Okay, now they're getting around to the "bye
bye David" segment. Perhaps you should compile a subpage of 100
Official Euphemisms for kicking the bucket, so as to not confuse it with
retirement.
-Aussie Meyer
May I use you in a novel I'm writing, including your web address? (It's a
rather ill-tempered social satire I'm doing...)
-SteveOlsta
so i'm at work, bored.
but i noticed something on one of the lists - isn't andrew wyeth already dead?
i coulda sworn he died a bunch of years ago and that was the whole deal
with his auction and those "helga" paintings. is he still around?
if he IS still alive, i feel very badly about the preceding paragraph.
-Nita Gowda
How the hell can I enter your most genius of contests?!!!
Please tell me how, and I will soak eleven one dollar bills in Burgess
Meredith's private LSD stash and forward them post haste.
Thanks
-Crapini
Just wondering, how much of a celebrity must I be to include myself
on the list? I will name a beneficiary in case I win.
Cheers,
-Bisser
This message is being brought to you by EMAIL PLATINUM software.
If you would like a FREE copy of this software or any of our other HOT
programs ABSOLTELY FREE call our FAX ON DEMAND number at
213-960-7822.
%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%
%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%
Dear brethren,
The internet has provided an opportunity for each of us to further
serve the Lord and participate in the fulfilling of the great commission
as recorded in Mark 16:15. Each of us can proclaim that: "Unless
mankind repents and returns to the Lord, we will be the generation that
will see the culmination of events that will lead to the end of this age
and the return of Jesus Christ (or, in Hebrew, the appearance of
Yeshua HaMashiach), with the establishment of His kingdom"; as
prophesized. To confirm this GOTO:
http://www.blueridge.net/prophetic-visions
Will you help others receive a crown of righteousness by having them
"love His appearing" (2 Timothy 4:8); while also receiving your crown
as a "soul" winner (Daniel 12:3)?
Your brethren in the Lord,
-Jim Byard
Is this the right place to tell you that the Derby Dead Pool 1997 now
has a web site, and has competition scores, news and obituaries of
suitably room temperatyre celecbrites ?
If it isn't, it's probably the wrong place to tell you its at
http://www.big-iain.demon.co.uk/DeadPool/index.htm
and that it holds your site in such esteem that it provides a link here.
Yours in Dead Pools....
-Iain Stuart
Will someone PLEASE explain to the person entering the Lee Jr. that using the
name PrincessDi is clearly in extraordinarily bad taste ... obviously the
spelling needs to be amended to PrincessDie.
Sheesh!
-CPBarnum
Is George Hamilton really dead or is just pretending to be dead.
I can't tell if he's acting or not.
But that's always been the case.
-GBlowfish.
My dear Mr. Love,
I'd just like to report that things are continuing to deteriorate on the
marital front here thanks to your Celebrity Dead Pool (By the way, how are
my October picks looking to you?) Just three weeks ago my marriage was
vibrant, happy and secure. Today, it's but a hollow shell. This is not too
terrific for my personal or for that matter my professional life as a
marriage counselor in a small town.
My husband is now refusing to discuss art, science, politics, sports,
movies, plays, current events, authors, favorite singers and songwriters
with me as he's quickly figured out the theme of my fishing expeditions
with him. He's smart like a fox. This leaves us in virtual silence lately.
I fear that when he does speak he's going to ask me to choose between him
and the Dead Pool. I've been with him for 13 loving fulfilling years. I've
been with you for three weeks.
How much does your pool pay? I have to factor in living single expenses
plus the dent this will put in my counseling practice.
Gotta go now. He's walking in. I need to ask him about his thoughts and
reflections on Lady Bird.
I'll be back tomorrow.
Very sincerely yours,
-Anonymous
Dear: Friend
Dear Friend,
I just wanted to let you know that we would like to send you a free copy of our monthly
newsletter for families. If you are interested please email me for your free copy at
hhn@cmconline.com
Have a great day,
-Nick & Sally
Zach my man,
How do I enter the 1998 pool?
My husband's out of town until tonight. This creates a very small window of
opportunity. I'll be hovering around my computer awaiting your reply.
Thanks
Best,
-Rona
I use MS IE 3.02 and your little ticker works just fine...
So I suppose - - - you'd be the stupid one here...
People who use Netscape are generally penilely challenged...
But I do like the concept behind your dead page... I've been
wanting to start my own pool on the coming death of satan's
little buddy - the pope... I'm hoping it's sooner - rather than
later, but ya know it's going to screw-up the TV schedule
worse than the recent tunnel-ectomy did... I really hate it
when that happens !!!
Mostly sincere, but more impudent than less.
-Wolf
So ...
I'm sitting here at my computer trying to decide how sick and twisted I
really must be ... I mean .. I come home from work, check my e-mail, and
go right to this site to see if anyone new is dead. How pathetic! I
actually get disappointed (especially lately) when no one has died.
There might actually be a 188-way tie in the October Lee Jr.!! Whatever
to do?!?!?!? So, I guess I'm the one who needs to get a life. (but a
new death would make things O so much better).
Here's a little something for you for Halloween
(I got it from the "Ben and Jerry's Flavor Graveyard" ... yes there is
even a site about dead ice cream ......... I really am pathetic)
-Kat
Dearest Zachariah Love,
I was happy and excited when I found your deadpool site!
I got my thoughts together and I copped a squat to write!
I made a list of folks I thought were close to almost leavin'.
(If I can win Lee Jr., I'll be happy someone's grievin'!)
I did a stupid thing though, I'm ashamed, I must admit;
I sent my list right in to you and didn't copy shit!!
So please, kind sir, I beg of you; (because I can't remember!)
Show me my October list so I can plan November!!!
Sincerely,
-Tre
Now the world will have to find another sugarcoated gooey icky crooner
of tunes about Colorado. Yes, friends, you may have heard that John DUI
Denver bought the farm this weekend while trying to pilot an experimiental
light plane that had the propeller on the wrong side...
Now who'll Hunter Thompson take potshots at???
-edh
Just to let you know that you aren't the only sick bastards in this
world.....There is a very large dead pool going on in the UK.....
We used to do an eight "player game"....but people got too good at the
selections.
So now we're onto a dead pool bingo....a 4x4 grid, with the winner being the
first person to get a full line in any direction or all four corners.
I'm getting the latest invite e-mailed over to me...It has loads of
additional stuff that may amuse.....
Let me know if you would like me to forward it
regards
-Another Sicko from the UK
Do you guys real know David Baerwald?
-hbart020
Then you must know Gretchen Somerfeld?
-hbart020
Dear Sirs,
You sick bastards. Keep up the good work!
Sincerely,
- JD
Hi Guys,
remember me! I'm the guy who inquired about George Maharris from "route
66", and Richard Carlson, the 50's Sci-Fi actor. To this, you toasted me
with a stinging, sarcastic E-mail response, of how I was a lazy foreign
car driving white shirt wearing rich asshole!!!
Guess what, BUTTHEAD's
I have been living on an iron lung for the past ten years. And Its
techno-geeks like you, with your fancy websites, who diregard decent
inquires about simple matters, which you supposedly have at your
geeklike fingertips!!!!!
p.s.
I'm typing this with a mouthstick.
again BUTTHEADS thanks for your no-brain help.
respectfully yours
-Tom
GOTTCHA!!!!!!!!!!
still curious about inquiry?
have a nice day,
-Tom
Hey Zach
Audra Lindley is dead? Damn it there goes the Three's Company Reunion..
-Erik J Lander
Zach,
Kinda curious when and how we would enter the '98 Invitational. I have got
more people interested in this dead pool thing. This means either society is
morbid as a whole or I have a lot of tasteless friends. Not sure where I fit
in. Anyhow, let me know how and when and I will anxiously await your
response.
Thanks,
-Rick
You guys are fucking bad. You mentioned that you live in L.A. in the Kenny
Hahn context -- so do I. Want to come to a party this Saturday, Oct. 25?
Email me.
-Linda
This is dark humor at its best. The premise is intriguing, and your
commentary is extremely witty. You folks are sick! Keep up the good work.
-waterczar
Hey Love and co,
What about Greg Buxton??
Is he not stiff enough for you?
Was he not one of the premire guitar players in the 70's?( For Alice Cooper)
Can you not send my latest entry back so I can add him to it?
Does this form of a question not bug the piss outta you?
OK,OK,OK, I'll slam the door on my ass on my way out..............
-Todro
COLORS Magazine. Our next issue is about "death". We are supposed to
present the game "Celebrity Death Pool" in the magazine (Yellow pages).
It is difficult to find really good information in the Internet. To have
a more precised idea of this game (rules, meaning, contact address, the
organisation-structure etc), we would like to get in contact with you.
We are looking forward to hearing from you soon, because our deadline
(the point when we have to finish our research for this issue) is
wednesday, 29th October 1997. Thank you very much for your cooperation
in advance.
-COLORS Magazine.
via Ferrareza
31050 Catena di Villorba (TV) Italy
tel.: +39 422 6161
fax.: +39 422 609088
Wow this month has been a great day for celebrity deaths... is this site
having some sort of dangerous effect on the actual space/time continuum?
-"(C)"
I guess you are not going to give me a 'kill' for Senor Guizueto even
though he knew the secreat formula for Coke (Cola that is) and is the
only Cuban billionarie, unless you count Fidel.
However, I must say that my Mother didn't know who he was either, but
she doesn't read the Business Page. However in Alaska where she lives
they barely have a newspaper.
I would like to note that Mr. Guizueto did rate a one and one half pae
obit in TIME magazine and 5 minutes on CNN
Oh well, that is the breaks.
I will further quest for famous almost dead you don't know.
-Amy Sue
Trying to track down a (French?) CD by Jeanne Calment - Time's Mistress
Any ideas for me. Tnaks for your time and consideration.
-Dr. David Udy
Hey,
I just heard an interview on 92.5 this morning and decided to check out the page.
All I can say is "Damn funny" and "I wish I would have thought of it myself." Keep
up the morbid work. Hopefully, I'll be playing soon.
Impressed and Amused,
-Diane
Greeting from Ireland!!
Of course I would have predicted Mothere Teresa & princess Di but I did not
see your page before this.
Did you know that Princess Diana was on the radio before she
died........and the steering wheel.....and the windscreen..........
Had she been in a lada she would have survived!!
No one would be found dead in a lada.........
Cool site. Keep up the good work............
-Martin Hughes
i would like to partisapate in this game or what ever u would like to call it
-IMURS21597
My fellow Americans...
I feel compelled to include my list of preditions of those who
will...*sniff*... "pass over"... *stifling sobs daintly with lace hankie
and honking nose like an air raid siren*
1. Elvis - 487 substance-ridden Michigan farmboys at Burger King can't be
wrong..
2. Gerald Ford - he falls down enough, don't you think?
3. George Burns - he's on the bill tonight at the Sahara in Vegas..
4. The idiot that mows his lawn under my window before 8 AM on Saturdays -
trust me, it WILL be reported by the AP..
5. Keanu Reeves - the man drives like a freaking maniac..
6. Chris Farley - is butter like a food group to that man? Have you SEEN
him lately? *mortified*
7. Boris Yeltsin - that man's liver must be the size of a Yugo..
8. Lorna Luft - plastic surgery/make up overdose..very nasty..
9. Jesse Helms - puhleeaaazzeee..get it over with..
10. Harry Carey - only the Cubbies are less alert..
11. Farrah Fawcett - wearing all that paint can't be good for you..
Send my check soon..baby needs new shoes..
-Carol
How do I get to play these games?
-Jo
I know very little about this contest. I think just about any (c)rap
musicians would be great candidates... I don't listen to it, so I don't
know the names. Many of the people chosen I have never heard of. What
are the odds for guesses?
I will give this contest a serious thought or two.
Thanks,
-Don Olek
Yesterday I received some email from you
and I looked over your stiff site. Apparently
I'm on your mailing list?
Anyway, if you have not already seen such,you
may want to look at my site. I do "calendars"
which are original creations of satire,
adult humor, comedy, social and political sarcasm,
weirdness, fun, etc. For those that have some
fetish about the dead....you'll find a lot of that
in my calendars, too. So your "readers" may be
interested in this shit on my calendars?
Maybe, from that perspective, you would like to link up
to my calendar main page? If so please let me
know...... The calendars are here:
http://www.pitt.edu/~dasst14/cal.html
Thanks.
-Dan Sroka
Maybe it's just me, but the last three times I dialed up stiffs com main
page, it crashed my browser, actually locked up and had to reboot
entirely, right after Gorbachev. Hmmm.
-Aussie Meyer
To Whom It May Concern,
I'm just getting used to surfing the net, but I'm an old dog that can
still learn a trick or two. Imagine my surprise when I stumbled on your
shit "Web" site. I don't know why I'm taking the time to write you,
sick-fuck, but when I saw my name listed on more than a few of your
"dead" lists, I feel it necessary to inform you geeks that I am very
much alive. Not only do I still smoke cigars, fuck young whores (the
kind you see in nudie magazines, losers), but I also smoke grass. No
shit. Who would of thunk it? I've been blowing bongs back when I was
kissing the ass of that child-wife beating drunk Bing Crosby. Now who's
dancing on who's grave, Bing-O? If any of you computer-punks think I'm
going anytime soon, let me offer you this little piece of information. I
made a deal with the Dark One long ago and it'll be a cold day in his
condo before my time's up. He's had my soul for years. D'ya think I got
this far on badly reading bad writers' bad jokes? I may look like death,
but you can never judge a book by it's cover. Except in the case of
Jimmy Stewart. You could see that one coming, eh? "Mr. Stewart Goes to
Hell" coming to a theater near you. And Mother Theresa, you got nothing
on me! I'll outlive you all!!!!!!!!!!
Fuck you,
-Bob Hope
GET A LIFE
-MrsHewey
Believe it or not ! http://www.thorup.com/HEAL/messages4/106.html The
Conspiracy !!! http://members.aol.com/TWStough/briefhis.htm '' Occupied
America '' The United Nations New World Order Occupied Federal ((((((((
Coverment )))))))) said it is now ''Legal'' for the U.N. Controlled
Military to Experiment on our Families !!! If we do nothing , then we
deserve it . Protect your Families , Form
s , The Bill of Rights
said we can . Pass it on . http://www.all-natural.com/bio-chem.html Why
Americans act like Sheep ! Sheeple Because we are being Chemically
Manipulated by the United Nations New World Order !!!
http://www.trufax.org/fluoride/stats.html
SONS OF LIBERTY MILITIA TIM STINE
312 S. WYOMISSING AVE. SHILLINGTON , PA . 19607
U.S.A. 610-775-0497
SONS-OF-LIBERTY@WEBTV.NET
THE ONLY THING THE UNITED NATIONS , NEW WORLD ORDER HAS TO
DO TO TAKE TOTAL CONTROL IS FOR GOOD MEN TO DO NOTHING AT All.
-SONS-OF-LIBERTY
Hi.
I do the annual Dubious Achievements issue of Esquire, and I want to
borrow a joke of yours. The one about Magda Gabor (Wrong one again.).
I'll pay you $50. What do you say?
Let me know ASAP.EMail at this address, or call me.
Best,
-Dave Eggers
I cannot wait to do the 1998 list. From one death obsessed, funeral
industry freak who Lives in vapid LA, this page is side splitting. I look
forward to the party in January. Thank goodness it won't conflict with my
attending the "Death Care World Expo 1998". You guys should get a booth
there!
~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+
-Mary-Austin Klein
I realize the criterion you guys have for who qualifies as a celeb, but
couldn't we consider MrsHewey a celeb, even if her death won't
be reported on the AP wire? That way we can all root for her demise,
and she is someone everyone playing knows of.
Regardless, I'll be including her on my list in '98.
-DMPA
Guys,
Jeez, how bad does this suck? I get all excited and enter the Lee Jr
for November and nobody dies. I mean come on, it's 3 weeks into the
month and Eddie Arcaro is the best we can do? People better start dying
quick, or I'll never get that Lee Jr title.
-Mona
Hi Zach!
It was a cool interrview for us as well!
As for a copy...We are s.o.l.......Normally we do
complete taped recordings of the show so we can use them for a base for"the
best of" type stuff....Those Sevenkids screwed all that up!
No Promos...(for the morning show) no nothin till the hoopla is done!
Another thing...WE WANT IN!
The three of us are making a list....and we WILL check in with you!
Thanks again for being on with us!
-Lou
Just one question... What happens if twodifferent people get 10 for
10? 11 for 11?
-StifleX
I just have one question. Is Kurt Cobain dead?
-Sharon Diehl
( \ __ / )
( \ (__) / )
( /<>\ ) TAKE THIS LITTLE ANGEL
( / \/ \ ) AND KEEP HER CLOSE TO YOU
/ \ SHE IS YOUR GUARDIAN ANGEL
( ) SENT TO WATCH OVER YOU
~~~~
THIS IS A SPECIAL GUARDIAN ANGEL...YOU MUST PASS THIS ON
TO 5 PEOPLE WITHIN THE HOUR OF RECEIVING HER..AFTER YOU
DO MAKE A WISH....
IF YOU HAVE PASSED HER ON, YOUR WISH WILL BE GRANTED
AND SHE WILL WATCH OVER YOU FOREVER..IF NOT..HER TEARS
WILL FLOW AND NO WISHES WILL BE GRANTED..
-tmp
Hello demented California cyber friends!! Hope you're warm. Its a balmy 44
today here in Wisconsin. Wanted to ask if you plan to have a Lee Junior for
December or are you going to carry over November's entries if there are no
stiffs. We are hoping for a December entry because we want to get Frankie a
little higher on the list. Gotta be on a feeding tube by now. Take care.
-Bob and Renee (A Cowboy and a Packer fan)
http://www.genevaonline.com/~royhobbs
http://www.genevaonline.com/~wmsbay
http://www.genevaonline.com/~lyric
http://www.genevaonline.com/~deignan
Yes, we should have read your site a little further. We think we've answered
our question by exploring your site. Still though, if you want to send us
mail, we like getting that new mail "ping" from the computer.
Bye bye and buy bonds.
-Bob and Renee
Hey man...cool game.
Two things.......If I live in Australia, can I enter? Will Australian
celebs count if they are celeb enough. I see you've got Michael
Hutchence but he was more of a world celeb. I was thinking about an ex-
Prime Minister to put on my list....if the need arose I would clip a
newspaper and send it to you guys.
Secondly, it doesn't say in any of your rules that the celebrities have
to be different. Say I had 1 Diana
2 Diana
3 Diana
Then I would get ten deaths if my choice died in that year. Seems pretty
cheap but I think you should add a rule about that too?
BTW The humor on your death page is fucking classic....Mother Theresa
hahahahahahaha
Thanx
-Matt
If I join the 98 Dead Pool, and really suck, can I buy a mug, and tell all my
friends that I did excellent?
-Paul
Fenton Robinson, best known for his composition "Somebody Loan me a Dime"
(later covered by Boz Scaggs) is dead at the age of 62. What's with these
bluesmen?
Sincerly,
-Robert
I just recently discovered this site and with the sense of humor you display,
I've got to tell you about a newspaper clipping that's been on my bulletin
board for a few years - it just kills me (sorry) and I'm sure you'll enjoy
too.
It seems that in 1993, France awarded some type of honorary medals to some
World War One vets that had been somehow been passed over for the recognition
70+ years earlier.
This ceremony took place at a Veteran's Hospital in Paris where a number of
them were living and the tone of the article is very upbeat as these poor
bastards were finally getting their just rewards. But then, in the very last
sentence - with no further explanation - the article abruptly ends by stating
"Veteran Affairs Minister Pierre Pasquini said that after hearing they were
to receive the awards, several of the veterans died of joy."
What the hell is that? Several?! Like 5 or 6?
I never even knew "death by joy" was one of the options for relief from this
existence!! If my death happens to be from "joy" I sure as hell hope the joy
has something to do with Michelle Pfeiffer, some Pepto-Bismol and a pair of
waders - to hell with dying over a freakin' seventy-year-late award!
Oh and, sports fans, here's a tip for the '98 Invitational - don't neglect
Jonathan Harris (Dr. Smith from Lost in Space) - he's 82 and ain't gettin'
around like his old self!!
-TODBENOIT
Our local paper in Fort Lauderdale, the "Sun-Sentinel," gave your web
site a brief mention today. Read your site from top to bottom. Very
slick and smart. Putting my thinking cap on. No doubt will enter.
-Jeff
Why wouldn't you want Jesus to knock at your door? If you have not let
him into your heart's door, he'll keep tring till Hell freezes over or
the world blows up
-artdudes
I was very happy to find your web page. We have a game called "Soon-to-Go"
which has been running for about 4 years. We allow 50 entries per player and
the top scorer wins every 6 months. Whenever someone on the list dies, the
player with that name gets 125 points minus age at death + 25 points for
exclusives (if you're the only player with that name) + 10 points for violent
or accidental deaths + 5 points extra for Republicans (dead Republicans, not
Republican players).
Anyway, just wanted to share my favorite game with the like-minded. Happy
dying!
-Joy
i just wanted to say what a twisted and morbid contest this is and you should
all be embarassed for taking part and giving money to support this sorry
excuse for a human's attempt at fun.
death is not fun, nor funny and for you to be awarding prizes to people for
guessing what celebrities will die in the next year is disgusting and very
pathetic.
you guys need to get a life, and stop celebrating the deaths of people.
heres my number one vote for 98: zachariah love, GOOD RIDDENS!!!!!!!
-Smhscoot
Frank Sinatra will not make it through '98.
Do I need to send more to be qualified as the first two listeners?
-DWatkins
I have a question for you. When did Robert Palmer die and how? Can you
please fill me in? Apparently I have not been paying attention to the
list of dead celebs.
I heard you this morning on the Va. Beach radio station the Point with
Worden and Goodman. I found the whole thing interesting.
Thanks for answering my question!!
-Tara Dembitz
QUESTION : IS ANITA BRYANT DEAD?
-TC1038
I stumbled accross your website several weeks ago and was shocked to the
core by your blatant disregard for the families and friends of those who
have passed on as well as those whom your players feel are circling the
drain. In a world where respect for feelings, values, property and life is
near to nonexistant, your site stands upon the penultimate heights of bad
taste and moral deprivation. Your macabre commentary is often juvenile in
context as well as spirit and one can almost hear your fiendish maniacal
laugh as your wring your hands in anticipation of the next kill.
God I love it. I haven't had this much fun since Natalie reminded us all
that Wood floats.
Look forward to entering in 98.
-Jenna Lipnickas
Baltimore, MD
PS - I believe my sister, Sharon Diehl, wrote a few days ago regarding the
status of Kurt Cobain. Any news? Is he still dead?
Hey, you guys want to play some cards?
-The Greenulator
Your web site was in the Orlando Sentinel this weekend. I don't have much of
a life so I investigated. I told my friends and was subjected to much verbal
abuse along the lines of "Some people are sicker than the ones on the lists."
I loved it. I told my brother, sister and nephew and I imagine you'll be
hearing from all of them. I am making my list and checking it twice.
I thought I had read all of your rules, but I'm still in the dark on how to
enter the Jr. contests.
Also, your legal mumbo jumbo page says that email entries are accepted even
though your other postings say definitely not. I'm not even sure I remember
how to use snail mail.
-Purvism
Give me a free entry now...YOU FUCKERS!
-bj90125
FUCK YOU, YOU STUPID PATHETIC PIECE OF SHIT!!!!!!!!!!
GET A FUCKING LIFE YOU SORRY EXCUSE FOR A WASTE OF YOUR
FATHERS SPERM!!!!!!!!!
-Smhscoot
Hearing you on the Radio Right now! Way to go Commish!
-Christina O'Sullivan
MSNA Tech and Infrastructure
I just heard you on The End this morning.........This is the fucking
coolest idea in a long time.....Cool shit!!!
-Brett Drugge
Jesus died. Thats right. But, about 600 eye witnesses saw him alive 3 to
7 days after his crucifiction. 300 people saw him rise in the sky and
disappear. He once appeared in front of me, when I was 22. He'll apperar
in front of you, if you ask him too, but please give him time.
Please take him off your "dead page"
-Bro Andrew
Gentlemen,
First let me say I absolutely love the site and the game. Absolute creative
genious at work. I heard about it on FM 98 in Baltimore a few weeks ago and
am hooked.
Anyway, enough of the crappy small talk. Just wondering if you had a better
definition of "celebrity". I know the AP stuff, but if I knew a few years ago
about Superman being killed off in the comics - would he be a stiff? Under
current criteria he would have been on the AP wire (hell it was everywhere).
Anyway, maybe add in a SUPERMAN RULE in 98 or 99 that the celebrity has to be
human. If not, still fun anyway.
Just a thought. Looking forward to watching my team pull on the coat-tails of
Dr D and rolling dice with Mr Grim.
-jim kennedy
aberdeen, md
Dear Stiffs,
I heard your interview on the End 107.7 in Seattle. I'm very excited to join
the
list of entrants. I'd like to know who to write the check to. Also, I'd like
to know
if anyone picked John Denver or Princess Diana. If someone did do they get
a special award? I find myself thinking about who could die next a lot now.
This evening when I heard about Yeltsin on the news I started screaming
because I didn't have my entry in yet. He already was on my list. Could you
also tell me if the legal name is required? I'm still considering the Queen
Mother
but I don't know her whole name. Please let me know. My email address
is [deleted for privacy] Thank you/
-Molly Collins Tacoma, WA
Michael Hutchence-suicide brunet??? Whats that? Did you decide to begin
reporting death with dignity? In your insulting tribute to Judi Bari, her
obsessive love of the trees was noted, but no mention of Hutchence's
obessessive self love? This seems very unfair.
-justice
I was wondering if you knew of any one playing your Dead Pool Contest ever
passing away while playing. That would be pretty BIZZARE. See ya in 98'.!!!!
-shorty7ft
Sick, twisted, vile, loathsome, cruel, disgusting, quite impressed,
love it, Lee Atwater burns in hell, etc.
ANYhoo, while pondering my list to submit for 1998, I was thinking
about Michael Hutchence's death and stumbled upon ... THE SUICIDE
CURSE OF THE BLEACHED BLONDE PUNK ROCK HARPIE! Consider
the following:
1. Nancy Spungeon, bleached blonde punk rock harpie, sleeps with Sid
Vicious, dopey puppet of Situationist Svengali Malcolm McLaren. Sid
dies by his own hand. (So did Nancy!)
2. Courtney Love, bleached blonde punk rock harpie, sleeps with Kurt
Cobain, genuinely talented but tortured soul appointed by MTV as the
unwilling spokesperson for a generation. Kurt dies by his own hand.
(Courtney's career is set to give its own death-rattle, and then is
miraculously resurrected by playing a bleached blonde Hustler magazine
harpie in the interesting but overrated "The People vs. Larry Flynt".)
3. Paula Yates, bleached blonde punk rock harpie extraordinaire and
famous in part for naming her daughters while 'shrooming, sleeps with
Michael Hutchence, Antipodean sex god with a collection of tight
trousers. Michael dies by his own hand(job). "Suicide Blonde" indeed
-- talk about a stiffie! (Paula courts further career death herself
by threatening to sue Ma Hutchence for Mikey's ashes.)
COINCIDENCE? I think not. LESSON FOR ROCK STARS? Stay the fuck away
from bleached blonde punk rock harpies if you don't want to off
yourself sometime in the near future! LESSON FOR THE REST OF US?
Follow the bleached blonde punk rock harpies all the way to the bank!
Wondering who Courtney's sleeping with now,
-Sara Cody
You guys will never believe this, but I originally had Chris Farley as
my number 10 "wild card". At the last minute I took him off...whew!
-Joe Howard
How could Chris Farley do this to me? He was #1 on my 98 list - even ahead
of Frank Sinatra!!! (and if you don't believe me, look at my October picks
- he was on there, too). Now I need a replacement. Ack! This sucks!
Sorry, I just had to vent.
-Patiod
For the love of God, why did Chris Farley have to go and die in
December? I did my homework and found that he was going on drug and
alcohol binges and had been admitted to the hospital a few times because
of it. I figured with his addiction problems and his weight he was a
dark horse for 98. So I had him in position #4 on my list for 1998. I
figured I might have been the only one to have him (or at least one of
the few) and he was going to be the catalyst for victory. He had to ruin
all of that and kick the bucket early. ARRRGH!!! At least I didn't send
my entry in yet so I can change it. Back to the research (I wonder what
John Belushi is up to these days???).
By reading your blurb it is easy to tell that you were not much of a
fan of Chris Farley's work, otherwise you would have come up with
something much funnier (and specific) to say.
Keep up the good work with the excellent site.
-Jim L
Hey, anybody have the porker? I can't find him on any of your lists. Three
people in our pool had him...we're very proud. A bunch of us are getting
ready to send in our entry lists to you and "join the pros"
-SHEDMONT
Forgive me if I overlooked something in your rules, but I see no provisions
for entrants that murder their selections. Can you offer clarification? Thank
you.
-frogsmashr
Thank you for the clarification. This may help as I formulate a plan of
attack. I mean strategy.
-frogsmashr
if i had one
..i'd bust a nut over this. brillllliiiiiant work!
don't know if you care or not, but i'm giving it the thumbs up in
fierce.com. check in wed. under "not quite site" if i was writing "site
of the week", you'd be the supah winnah. but i'm not.
okay then, back to my list.
keep on truckin',
-heather
Hey.
Since a few of the prizes involve Lee Atwater merchandise (mug, cap,
etc), is it possible to order (yes, and even pay for) such items
separately? What a terrific way to earn extra money.
And, yes, in the true spirit of the season, I am making a list and
checking it twice.
-Tim Conde
I was wondering if it would be in completely bad taste to select the
child of a celebrity, say an NFL QB's son, who has an incurable desease
and is facing the not so terrible prospect of meeting the maker before
ever experiencing the evil of this wretched time in Earth's history.
Yours in concern,
-Chris
It's the Dean Martin Clause!!!
Christmas Day---Denver Pyle died! He was on one of my lists! FUCK!
He's not due for at least another week!
-Mark Spivey
dear stiffs
A lot of fat dead men have died in the past but none quite as sturring as the
fat death of chris farley that crazy fool. How much did he way? one of the
mysteries of the universe i guess.
thank you
come again
-Mansonq13
Your respondents appear to lack about the same degree of erudition as
respondents to other web sites I've visited.
I never cease to be amazed (is "appalled" a better word?) at the grammar,
spelling, punctuation presented. To say they are unable to express
themselves through the written word is an understatement. Did these poor
creatures ever attend school -- in more that bodily form?
And, it's said the U.S. is NOT in a downward spiral??? Come on!
-aarolyn
Just wanted to gloat ... I play a northern Virginia regional pool that rolls
onward each death. It's $1 per name per month. And when the pot pays out,
everyone antes up another $1 per name. Well, back in November, I got a weird
feeling and added Chris Farley. Paying $2 for November and December ... and
collecting $352. Lemme tell you, it didn't suck :)
I'm planning on sending in an entry tomorrow. Can't wait to play this kind of
pool :)
-jo.
Dearest Commish,
I regret to inform you that I will not be joining your contest this
year. A couple of months ago I had every intention of joining the 98
Lee Atwater. I studied hard and did my homework. I would sometimes go
days or even weeks without food or sleep while sorting through Sinatra's
trash, looking for prescriptions, or following Farley from dopehouse to
dopehouse. I worked hard to compile my list and thought that my findings
had an excellent chance of winning. Farley's premature death was a
setback (as our previous correspondence) so I went back to work and
found a replacement. Again I was proud of my results and happy I hadn't
sent my entry in earlier.
The days that passed while I was again waiting to send in my entry
(actually I wasn't really waiting, I was out of stamps and too lazy to
go buy some) were some of the worst days of my life. My life took one
terrible turn after another. My mother hurt her back and had to move in
with me since she couldn't make it up the 14 flights of stairs to her
condo. While moving some of my mother's stuff in to my house I
accidentally left the door open and my cat ran away. I was fired from my
job for absenteeism (time I took off to help my mom move). Since I was
without a job and living with my mother, my wife left me for this guy
Charlie, a lawyer who helped us write up our pre-nuptial agreement.
Needless to say, I lost everything in the divorce.
It was then that it occurred to me that my sudden bad luck could
possibly be due to the bad karma from my impending entry into your
contest. For the next couple of days I pondered my decision to enter. My
life only got worse. While driving home from a failed job interview in a
snowstorm my car accidentally slide into a telephone pole, tipping it
over and sending it crashing into the main sleeping hall of a homeless
shelter. My car was totaled and a complete write-off which was okay
since the weight of the snow had caved in my garage roof and I didn't
have anywhere to park it anyway. Besides, I can only legally live in the
house for one more month before my ex-wife takes possession.
It was then while being mugged when I was walking home in the snow from
the accident scene that I decided that I wasn't going to enter your
contest. The mugger took everything from my wallet except for an eleven
month old lottery ticket which the mugger laughed at and called me
stupid for not knowing that the lottery was just a tax on people who are
bad at math. Since I didn't have any money, it was a tough decision,
and one I make with regret, but I am not going to enter your contest and
ask my mom if I can borrow eleven bucks.
In the days since my decision, my life has completely turned around.
The lottery ticket ended up being a big winner, a massive 60 million
dollar jackpot. I collect my first installment next month. My mother had
a miraculous recovery and is now off playing shuffleboard somewhere in
the Caribbean. My high school sweetheart found my cat frozen like a
popcicle. When we put her in the microwave and thawed her out, she came
out fine (a bit hungry however). We have a date set for Saturday. (My
high school sweetheart, not my cat). As you can see, my life has been
great since deciding not to enter. I normally not a very superstitious
person, but bad karma is bad karma. Good Luck.
-Jim Lemke
P.S. I will still be following your contest (and website). So keep up
the good work. I kept my entry form so I will be hypothetically
following my results (I can handle the hypothetical bad luck). If in the
off chance all my hard work actually would have paid off and I would
have won the 98 Lee Atwater, then I will be contacting a lawyer and
suing for some reason or another. Maybe I will get my ex-wife's new
husband (Charlie), he was pretty good. I don't the reason but I am sure
he can come up with something, after all we are all victims of some sort
in this society and that money should be mine.
...Well my entry will be off to you in the mail shortly, just to say in
advance: my printer wouldn't print out the entry form (prolly my system's
fault) so I'm trying my best "reasonable facsimile" for my list(s).
Coupla other points: I don't think putting a celeb that one has
positive feelings about on a "dead pool list" is necessarily a bad thing.
If it's a losing list and the celeb lives out the year, then at least the
contestant has something to cheer about. If the celeb does indeed
die...then they would likely die anyway and at least there's some small
benefit to someone from their passing. This is kinda the opposite of the
Anna Nicole Smith "hated celeb list" thing...Most contestants likely feel
neutral toward those on their lists, though, with so many getting their
"15 minutes of fame" these days there's just too many famous people to get
that worked up one way or the other about all of 'em...
I had thought Stubby Kaye died years ago. Guess, again, this is the
opposite of the clause where contestants indeed died years ago and someone
forgot about it...There was a good routine in Neil Gaiman's SANDMAN comic
linking the "Sit Down You're Rocking the Boat" song with Death, who
appeared in the comic occasionally as an attractive female (as opposed to
the usual skeleton or just hooded robe "Grim Reaper"). Also the first I'd
heard of Denver "Uncle Jesse Duke" Pyle's death...But if I'm not mistaken
(and I may well be, as with Stubby Kaye), Rosemary Kennedy, the retarded
Kennedy sister, was reported dead some years ago (she appears on a couple
of lists, if that's who was meant). Why did you classify Jesse White, the
original Maytag repairman, as a "social dick"? Not that I thought he was a
great talent or anything but I'd never heard about his off-camera persona
so maybe you know something I don't...
I'll be in touch, cya!
-PAB
Michael Kennedy is dead, mere minutes before the ball fell in New York.
One last contestant for the Icky Shuffle before the contest resets. :)
-StifleX