Zach,
You were of course correct; that on an internet littered with shitty Dead Pools,
stiffs.com is the least fetid, and may I add, by quite a wide margin. Therefore,
it was with great joy that I fondled the Select-O-Matic once again and submitted
my lists for this terminal year of the 20th Century (1999 having been the
penultimate).
I would like to submit a request for subsequent games, to accommodate the other
procrastinators (as well as myself). Please have the timing adjusted on the
Z-5000 for subsequent games. I had a thoroughly pointless list to submit (and
PAY FOR), 3 full minutes before the technical deadline, but sadly the internal
clock on the Z-5000 had rolled over early and you were denied my money, whilst I
was denied the amusement of assessing the Fame Committee's collective knowledge.
Personally I use "socketwatch" from Locutus Codeware for all of my systems
running Microsoft OS's (works great on NT servers), I've tried several examples
listed here: http://www.connectotel.com/netware/timesg.html with varied success
on my Novell servers (Netware SUCKS), and if the Z-5000 is using a Unix variant,
use of these time servers http://www.eecis.udel.edu/~mills/ntp/clock1.htm
http://www.eecis.udel.edu/~mills/ntp/clock2.htm can maintain synchronicity with
the USNO atomic clock. I wouldn't be much of a bastard if I didn't insist on
insane precision in all matters, from everyone.
On some wildly different subjects, what's with ebrake's offer of holiday joy to
your stiff staff? Won't her husband (isn't it gaspedAl?) become jealous? Were
you aware that your evil twin is selling toy helicopters at the Westminster
Mall? Unless you're making the painful commute, in which case I'll say aloha,
next time I'm picking up some See's candy or another cell phone. Are chimpanzees
really smarter than Orangutans? I think the old man of the forest would solve a
quadratic equation way before a chimp, in fact I'm pretty sure the chimp would
just eat it's pencil, whatever, there both good eatin', and in the final
assessment I guess that's all that really matters.
Aloha,
-Rick The Bastard
New Year, Same Old Bastard.
Retired Admiral Elmo Zumwalt, Commander of American Forces in Vietnam
1968-1969 and pioneer of the use of agent orange, died Sunday.
-DAVIDFRANKLIN
Hi my name is not dory it is casei I am 16 and looking for love.sorry
Icannot talk long right now because I'm at school and I'm not suppose to be
on the computer Please write back soon.
-prissi82
Hello,
A friend of mine recommended your site. Now that's what friends are for.
Please include me on your 'I'm interested' list.
-William F. Bruce
Zach,
Came in to work blurry eyed and hung over--in other words, a normal Tuesday.
On top of the pile of shit on my desk was the cd I was listening to before I
left work yesterday: In Yo' Face! The History of Funk Volume 1.
Although I have looked at that CD many, many times, something jumped out at
me today...a little credit towards the bottom on the back: Compilation
Produced for Release by Zachariah Love and David McLees. A quick Yahoo
search shows only one Zachariah Love in the US and an awful lot of people on
this cd are in fact dead, so I'm thinking you are one multi-faceted,
multi-talented funky dude. True?
Later,
-SeaPepto
Howdy. I just saw Vic the Brick Jacobs mentioned on your hate list and
was wondering why. I grew up with him and he is one of the nicest people
I have ever known.
Just Wondering
-David Kempler
do you know of any sites that handle dead athletes exclusively??
i REALLY am enjoying YOUR site......informative and sad, yet witty.....
thanks....keep up the good work!!
-pbranch
i am listening to you on 99x right now and i am wondering if you have
any other sites that youd reccommend to me, cause i absolutely adore
yours, i figured that you have to have something else in that awesome
head of yours that id like to see.. Also.. i have a question... What do
you think the chances of Magic Johnson dying this year are?
Thanks,
-Candy Satterfield
Hi Zach/Greg: Hope you are feeling better Mr. Love. All of us greedy
little poolsters are waiting for the postings. It's better than the
NCAA seedings show. This year with the committee (and your illness) I'm
assuming it will take longer. How about a brief update/projection on
the post-up board so people like me won't bug you? It will be
interesting to see how, or if, the new rules impact participation.
Thanks
-DGRAVES
Do you find it to be somewhat coincidental that former Saints coach Tom
Fears dies at about the same time Mike Ditka gets fired as the Saints
coach? Could this be the start of a trend?
-z800525a
Greg: The fact that you guys even KNOW who these sports-talk assholes are
says something about you and your site to begin with. You gotta be spending
WAAAY too much time looking at the tube, bro'; I've never heard of any of
those people, nor do I care to. Now, knocking off Streisand and Willis and
Sandler, et al.--THAT's worthwhile....
-Bill
Can I still get in if none of my selections have died yet??
-oneFUNsob
Dear Zach-
What's the deal here? Let's declare a winner for '99. and post the
cadavers to be for the new millennium! I know it's a big site to update, but
the legions are waiting to see their prophecies posted. How else can we be
the secret envy of our repulsed friends? Help us out here. Don't worry (As
if you were), we still love you. This from the man behind the Sonny Bloch
situation a year ago. That will always remain my dead pool hilight, till I
win the big one. Keep it up Dr. Death
-Jontater
do I have to wait until u guys say so before I can make a list?
Wonderfully sick stuff, i lurve it
-9904056
Curators of the Dead:
Please explain about how to enter the big game. Every time in the past
three weeks that I've gone to the "Big Game" icon there was a screen that
said it was not available yet. Today was the first day that it would let
me in and it says that you are not taking anymore entries. Did I miss some
30 second window of opportunity?
Let me know. Thanks,
-Don
Bobby Phills
Outstanding blurb. Good work man, good work.
-Dsabres
you guys used to be funny. What happened?
-rmikes
Hey Guys,
If you can help that would be great:
" I died in 1936. My doctor administered a lethal dose of morphine and
cocaine 40 minutes before my death to make sure it would be reported in
the better newspapers. Who am I? For a bonus point, who was my doctor?"
AND
" My brother was shot to death. My only son committed suicide. My
wife was murdered by an anarchist. And my nephew was the victim of a
rather fanous assassination. Who am I?"
If you can help by midnight - great
Thanks
-David
add me to your list.i am rude too.
-bonekeeper
I can't believe the COMMITTEE doesn't know who Ruth Lilly is.
She's only the owner of the nations LARGEST Pharmaceutical manufacturer.
Which coincidentaly happens to produce PROZAC which is probably what's
keeping the COMMITEE, FUCKO the Clown and your whole GANG from
going POSTAL!
I thought the new "rule" sucked when I read it, and now that you've
disqualified one of my entries it sucks even more. The committee should have
been comprised of representatives from across the country.. world perhaps,
instead of only WEST COASTIES with EXTREMELY limited resources. I
think my point is proven by reading through the list of entries, especially
the single entry names. The NEW RULE is BULLSHIT.... Flame me
if you want...but your readers can judge for themselves.
-MmmikeeE
Never one to turn down an invitation to flame, Commissioner Love responded:
Okay, Mike, but I wish players like you could read and comprehend what's
up on the site, instead of us having to explain everything over and over
in e-mails. First of all, as it says on every fucking 2000 Big Game page
we've got, WE'RE NOT FINISHED YET! NONE of those names mean
ANYTHING, INCLUDING the Not Famous entry. I could explain to
you why it's there now, but you won't understand it anyway, so why bother?
If you want to get an idea of what a complicated administrative nightmare
this whole process is, go to http://venus.beseen.com/boardroom/b/25791/
and read my two-part post titled "Flawed System." You probably won't
understand that either, but that's not my problem. Another fact made
perfectly plain both on the website (http://stiffs.com/kpr.html) and in the
e-mail we sent to introduce the Committee (both of which you seem to
have missed) is that the Committee IS made up of people from around the
country, as well as one member in Europe. I have no idea why you think
the single entry names prove some point you're trying to make, but again,
they might all be gone in a couple of days. WE'RE NOT THROUGH YET!
Now, if you want to get specific about Ruth Lilly, she has not yet been
decided upon one way or the other, but we can tell you that out of the 21
responses we've gotten so far from the 24 Committee members, NONE
of them have recognized her name. I'm sure that shocks you, and convinces
you that we chose nothing but idiots who don't know anything about the
owners of large drug companies, but perhaps you should consider two
things: One is that we did not submit the name "Lilly Pharmaceuticals"
to the Committee, we submitted the name "Ruth Lilly," and hard as it may
be to believe, not everyone automatically connects the two. ALSO, you
don't suppose that your feeling that Ruth Lilly is a slam-dunk celebrity
is colored in any way by the fact that you live in Indiana, the state
that just happens to be home to The Ruth Lilly Health Education Center,
The Ruth Lilly Auditorium, The Ruth Lilly Conference Center, The Indiana
University Ruth Lilly Medical Library, The Ruth Lilly YMCA Outdoor
Center, and I don't know how many other buildings and institutions named
after her. But guess what, Mikey? They don't have those buildings in
other states. You just might have to accept the hard truth that most
people outside of Indiana don't give a fuck about any of the people or
places unfortunate enough to be inside it. Looks to me like another case
of someone who thinks anyone they've heard of must be famous, and anyone
they haven't, can't be.
-Zachariah Love, Commissioner
The Lee Atwater Invitational Dead Pool
http://stiffs.com - Part of the Stop Network
Haven't heard back yet, but we'll keep you posted.
I must have had loftier thoughts on my mind in the last week of December,
because I forgot to submit a "little list" for the Y2K dead pool. Oh well . . . .
But today's news brightened my day anyway.
A couple or three years ago, I submitted a little list of bloody awful bad
guys (Sadam Hussein, et al.), and, under the old rules, it was reviewed by
guests at the party, and one entry was rejected under the "never heard of him"
standard - Zeljko "Arkan'' Raznatovic.
But the satisfaction of seeing this story in the news -
http://dailynews.yahoo.com/h/nm/20000115/wl/yugoslavia_arkan_8.html
is far greater than seeing my standing rise from 137th to 82nd could ever have
been. Revenge, or maybe just a falling out among thugs.
Indicted war criminal, gangster, commander of the "Tigers" paramilitary thugs -
mass murder, rape, and pillage. DEAD! DEAD! DEAD!
Secretary of State Albright says "We take no satisfaction in Arkan's murder."
She speaks for herself. The poet said "every man's death diminishes me." Some
less than others.
Happy Y2K . . .
-James K. Mattis
http://www.chaicutlery.com
Good tools to sustain life, or at least make life more convenient
Hey guys!! I just wanted to write you a note to tell you how much I've enjoyed
your site!! I've been participating in a "Ghoul Pool" (as well call it) at work for
the past 3 yrs now and LOVE it. This is the first time that I've been here but
have bookmarked you and WILL BE BACK!!!!! THANKS for the awesome
inspiration and wonderful ideas for my picks for this year which need to be
submitted by Wed the 19th. (P.S. Do you mind if I add your link to my
webpage? TANX!!!)
-Marty
I heard on the radio that the guy who invented Clearasil just died.
-Aaronfh
About the Roger Nielsen thing. I'm not really pissed, the rules were
there and I took a chance. When you're from Buffalo, bitching is a part
of life. You would to if it was 10 degrees out and snowing every
fucking day. And you had to watch the Buffalo Bills do something stupid
every Sunday.
It's a game!
The new "famous" setup is good. There's too much other Shit to do than
debate who is famous. Like find a place where you can get a decent
table dance.
All in fun- anybody who gets too serious about a Dead Pool is somebody
to stay far away from when the sun goes down.
-Jim
I think that the Fame change was kind of lame, but I don't want to have
my 3rd list removed either. I'm just happy to have participated. Don't
let anyone tell you that the change wasn't clear. It was. That is the
reason I put my "Not Famous" guy (Tim Eyman) in the 10th spot, just in
case. It's called a risk. He is famous, though. He's the reason WA
has $30 Car Tabs this year. He's also the reason my husband was laid
off. That guy sucks ass. He's got beau coup security because of all
the death threats. What happens if someone gets him? Would I get any
notice for listing him? Do you guys keep track of "Not Famous" deaths?
That might be interesting to see at the end of the year. Think about
it.
Love Ya, Mean It
-Molly
Please would you let me have the web address for the pictures from
Celebrity Morgue.
Thanks.
-possy
I guess December is not a good time to be a Beatle!
-Lady Die
Hey--your dead people comments used to be much funnier. what gives?
-Lady Die
p.s. here's a good site i happend to find: The Chappaquiddick Society
http://pages.prodigy.net/jamesde/
You guys are on my hate list for not sending me the free bumper sticker I
requested back in mid-1999. I even had a hyperlink to you guys on my
website (which as since been removed)
-Lady Die
OK, one more chance!
[address deleted for privacy]
love and kisses,
-Lady Die
So when are you starting up the Lee Jr? I have to submit Zach's name.
Would it be irony or poetic justice if he was named in
his own dead pool when he kicked?
Just kidding ya big dork. Get well soon.
-Mark
1-Adam-12
Zach:
I know you guys have been taking a lot of heat lately, and I think you did a
good job with that refund offer.
I work for a pretty large company (over 1000 employees), and run many of the
office pools here, hence my nickname and STIFFS handle, The Bagman.
Because of that, I know that everybody has an opinion. I tell them the same
thing which is "You know the rules before you enter. If you enter, you
consent to them. If you don't like them, keep your money in your pocket".
This is not a democracy or a referendum. You guys do a lot of hard work, and
have created a great site. Tell them all to shut up. The whining is driving
me nuts.
I myself was very surprised that Bobb mcKittrick did not make the cut,
considering that you are based in California, and he was well known to most
NFL fans even before he got sick. He was long accused by other coaches of
teaching his lineman the dirty "Cut block" procedure, and there was long
article in Sports Illustrated about him.
I figured the Fame Committee would sign off on him, considering some of the
other people who did make it. No matter, I plan on cashing with the 9 I
have.
One last thought: I read in various places in the site that the Big Game has
been the subject of interviews on TV and in print, but I find out months
later. How about the next time you know of an impending national story you
send out one of those mass mailings to all Poolsters? I would love to check
out the righteous indignation of the Politically Correct Police, as they
deride us as sick! If they can't take a joke, f__ _ k 'em.
Keep up the good work.
Regards,
-Joe Biasi , AKA The Bagman
Stiffies:
Can't beleeeve the whining youse guys are creating over the new
rules. It's THEIR game. THEY can make the rules and they've been quite
open and fair about it. I, too, had some names I thought would be good
but backed off when I saw they weren't "approved".
It sucks to see folks get points with swimming coaches, terminal
kids, Lt. Governors and foreign terrorists that nobody else has heard of
or gives a flying flip about. There is a word "celebrity" around here
that used to count for something.
For next year, maybe we can judge fame by doing a name search on
e-bay. If there is some book or memorabilia of the person up for
auction, then there is at least a remote chance the person is famous. If
you can outbid someone for their autograph, I'd suppose they rate.
Our hosts do a great job of providing not only a fun game but a lot
of laughs along the way. This isn't "Who Wants To Be A Millionaire?".
It's a crapshoot of a crapshoot. Thank you and grow up.
-Mulch Monkey
Hey, friends for life at stiffs.com.
I hope it wasn't my last mail (toto/grim
rapper/Bettino Craxi) that caused you to come back to
us all with your generous offer. I sure don't want no
refund, and I admit that I had my doubts about Craxi
passing the FC test anyway. But what a fantastic
opportunity to bitch, wasn't it?
I shall wear my many "not famous" entries as a badge
of honor (and a token of cultural superiority, of
course) and will remain,
Yours sincerely,
-toto
Hey Zack. ABC News is doing a live interview with me Monday 1/31 immediately
following Politically Incorrect with Bill Maher. They want to talk about
rookies - candidates under 35. I'm going to rap about Weiland, Combs, Downey
- the usual cast of young loser potential stiffs. I think it will only air
live in the Philadelphia area with distribution to affiliates later. I'll
definitely plug your site. Tell any players in that area to check it out.
Hope you're feeling better.
-Deathpool Dave
Hi. I'm Billy,
I am a very sick boy little boy. My mother is typing this for me,
because I can't. She is crying. Don't cry, Mommy! Mommy is always
sad, but she says it's not my fault. I asked her if it was God's fault,
but she didn't answer, and only started crying harder, so I don't ask
her that anymore.
The reason she is so sad is that I'm so sick. I was born without a
body.It doesn't hurt, except when I go to sleep. The doctors gave
me an artificial body. My body is a burlap bag filled with leaves.
The doctors said that was the best they could do on account of us
havin no money or insurance. I would like to have a body transplant,
but we need more money.
Mommy doesn't work because she said employers don't hire crying
people. I said, "Don't cry, Mommy," and she hugged my burlap body.
Mommy always gives me hugs, even though she's allergic to burlap,
and it chafes her real bad.
I hope you will help me. You can help me if you forward this e-mail.
Dr. Johansen said if you forward this e-mail then Bill Gates will
team up with AOL and do a survey with NASA. Then the astronauts
will collect prayers from school children all over America and take
them up to space so that the angels can hear them better. Then they
will go to the Pope, and he will take up a collection in church and
send the money to the doctors. The doctors could help me better
then. Maybe one day I will be able to play baseball. Or maybe just
use my lungs and heart, when the doctors make them.
The doctors said that every time you forward this letter, the astro-
nauts can take another prayer to the angels. Please help me. Mommy
is so sad, and I want a body. I don't want my leaves to rot before I
turn 10.
If you don't forward this e-mail, that's OK. Mommy says you're a
mean heartless shithead who doesn't care about a poor little boy
with only a head. She says that if you don't stew in the raw pit of
your own guilt-ridden stomach, she hopes you die a long slow
horrible death so you can burn forever in hell. What kind of god-
damned person are you that you can't take five fucking minutes to
forward this to all your friends so that they can feel guilt and
shame for the rest of their day, and then maybe help a poor,
bodiless nine-year-old boy?
Please help me. This really sucks. I try to be happy but it's hard.
I wish I had a puppy. I wish I could hold a puppy.
Thank You.
-Billy 'Smiles' Smith
The boy with just a head.
And a burlap sack for a body.
Last year you guys said Jean MacArthur wasn't "famous." Now she's
dead. I hope you're happy.
-Roger Gowiththrottleup
Here's someone to add to this year's deaths...
Bobby Duncum, Jr. Pro wrestler for WCW, WWF and ECW of possible OD.
-Shovelhed
Since I moved to Bahrain, things sort of get past me, like the deadline for
participating in Stiffs 2000. It is really a shame, since I feel that
apparing on my lists is the only thing that kept all of these people alive.
I'm waiting for the Lee Jr to begin. The letter with the foreign stamp will
be mine.
-MM
Hello,
I enjoyed entering the 2000 Dead Pool, and I'm somewhat satisfied to carry on
my entry to the end of the year. I just would like to dispute a celebrity you
dubbed "not famous". I should have sent you this email sooner. The entry in
question is named Louise Vallance. Not only did she supply her voice to dozens
of cartoons, but she played Whazzat Kangaroo in that kiddie show "Zoobilee
Zoo"... Ever see that show? It's great to watch over a nice bong... Anyways,
the reason I picked such an obscure figure is that I was playing along with
the children's figures that have died recently, most notably Shari Lewis. So
I figured, go for a longshot... but to no avail. If this information helps you
enough to reinstate my entry at No. 9, I'd greatly appreciate it.
To view my complete list of entries:
http://www.stiffs.com/00querylist.cfm?ListID=3681
Have a dead day. (:
-Joe
Apparently A.E. Van Vogt , the Sci Fi Author and inspiration behind most of
the 40's and 50's pulp Sci-Fi, has thrown a 7.
Can't tell you much more than that.
Regards
-MDSMuttley
Why isn't anything up about the airline crash a couple of days ago?
-SUEB40
heard you on the radio today sounds cool please send some info
cheers
-km
how's it goin? hope you are feeling better. i have a question for you. a
friend of mine was looking through last years big game contestants list, and
came across the name of frank sinatra jr. he commented that he couldn't
believe that the real frank sinatra jr. was playing in the dead pool. i
told him that it really wasn't frank jr., but i could not convince him
otherwise. so we made a wager of an entrance fee to the next jr. game. this
is the question: is that the real frank sinatra jr. playing in the game?
he will only accept a response from you directly, so if you would reply when
you get around to it, i would be appreciative.
-blinc1019
Does anyone know what ever happen to Clu Gulager of the TV series "The
Virginia". He played the sheriff & bit roles later on. I can't find out
what happen to him. I always liked the characters he played. Can you help??
-Interested fan
I noticed the Fame Committee disallowed my top two selections - Bob
McKittrick, and the Philadelphia Flyers coach, Roger something-or-other.
I was gonna send this E-mail to tell you that I can understand your not
accepting a rather obscure assistant football coach as 'famous', but a
head coach of a NHL hockey team should qualify as 'famous' . But when I
couldn't think of his name, I guess that proves your point !!!
-DEEJ
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Sincerely,
-Commissioner Lugar
Stiffies:
Having read your new "Op-Ed Hotbed", I must disagree with your writer.
Elian the Alien is not deserving of a death sentence. Wouldn't returning
him to Cuba be bad enough?
I was also quite disappointed with Elian's two grandmothers. I had hoped
that once their plane had touched down at JFK, one of the two would
announce their candidacy for the U.S. Senate. They clearly would have
snatched the feminist vote right out from under Hillary after biting
little Elian's tongue and grabbing his little wee-wee, thus emotionally
scarring the boy for life. Of course, if they'd done it the other way
around, they would have grabbed New York's large psychotic vote as well.
No, I think the death penalty should be reserved for truly heinous
crimes such as rape, murder and telemarketing. No mercy for those
lowlifes.
Otherwise keep up the good work.
BTW, do you know the names of any 600-lb rappers I could put on next
year's list?
-Mulch Monkey
Austin, TX
hi. i was going thru the list with a friend when we came accross the name of
Frab\nk Sinatra Jr. he was amazed that the real Frank Sinatra Jr would
have an entry in the big game. i told him that it probably was not the real
Frank Sinatra Jr.'s list, and that many people, such as i, make up fictitious
names with which to enter the contest. he said no, that since Frank Jr. is
still alive, that nobody would be allowed to use that name, and it must be
the real Frank Jr. so we bet an entry into the next Jr. game as to wether or
not it is the real Frank Jr. or not. if you would answer that question for
us, i would be very appreciative. thank you.
-blinc1019
ps i forgot to show him that dean martin and sammy davis jr also had entries
Esteemed Commisssioner...
Lonesome Dave Peverett, the lead singer of Foghat, has succumbed to kidney
cancer at 56.
I think it owuld be safe to say that he is now on the ULTIMATE "Slow Ride."
-Scott Levison
How about Lonesome Dave from the band Foghat. He just died
yesterday. Try this one.... He's so lonesome he could die.
Pretty funny, huh?
-smustac
Jim Varney: Ernest goes to Hell.
By the way guys, check out Dave Letterman's condition. You need to put
him on the sickticker.
-newsroom
Can I choose someone who's not born yet? For instance, if someone (famous)
is pregnant, and for whatever reason I think the baby will die in infancy,
can I enter "the as-yet-unborn child of so-and-so"? What if a baby hasn't
even been conceived yet? Then what? How about a miscarrage or an abortion?
How would that play out?
Or how about this? Can I say "Alaskan Airlines passengers" -- or do I have
to have names?
-rholecko
Hi Z,
Well, Charlie Brown may have missed the football, but he did kick the bucket.
Ouch.
Three Lee pool hits in the past 2 days (Varney [AbraCadavers3], Landry [Sept
pool EB3], and Schulz [AbraCadavers 1 &2]). Pretty amazing, maybe even a record?
Sad day. Another Ghoul Pooler had Jim Varney, so I have a hell of a lot of
updating to do tomorrow. Make it stop, I'm to damn busy for all this nonsense.
Glad you're doing better, and enjoyed the non-party party recap. Great email
of the year too, that guy is like the new Mahir, only...worser.
Take care,
-E.
So far this year:
Former all-pro receiver Tom Fears who later in life coached the Saints.
Derrick Thomas.
Tom Landry.
Former Steeler lineman Steve Furness.( Died the other day...this member of
the Steel Curtain is now getting rusty...he should be included in this
years roll call).
Do we see a trend here? Add in the niceties of Carruth & Lewis and we can
see that is is not healthy to be associated with the NFL. Who will be
next? Look at Parcells, Reeves and Ditka. All healthy athletes at one
time, now they are carrying scars on their chests from bypass surgery.
What does that tell us? THE NFL IS A UNHEALTHY ORGANIZATION!
Look at the Giants who got cancer from playing in that toxic-waste dump
known as Giants Stadium! Nobody from the CFL has died lately! Just being
at a game can be deadly...the late commissioner Bert Bell died at a game.
In 1971, Lions WR Chuck Hughes drops dead after catching a pass. Need we
say more?
NFL=National Fatality League!
(I'm in S. Florida...could there be a REAL reason Jimmy Johnson quit?
Will we see his name next to a blurb sooner than we think?????)
-Scott Levison
One of you was on Jeff and Jeff on XL102 and had Charles Schultz on the death
o meter. I had a funny feeling when he said his name,... and here it is he
is dead... did ya hex him>???
-VaBassets
dear Zach,
Via a "friend" of mine at work I was given your page address.
http://www.stiffs.com/
after reading thru some of the articles I couldn't resist on writing to you
and congrtulating you on it.
It was so funny, I almost "DIED" reading some of the stuff posted.
Well done!!!! 100 out of 10 for your efforts.
Congratulations again,
Yours Sincerely,
-Michael Stallwood
Zach--
If you guys liked the movie The Twelve Chairs, you'd probably really
like the book. Written by Ilya Ilf and someguy Petrov way back in the Soviet
thirties. There's a lot of great stuff that didn't make it into the film,
and you don't have to listen to Dom DeLouise's New York accent trying to
pass off as Russian. Northwestern University Press. Check it out.
-Jason Arvey
sirs
i'd like to find site, or subsite, where i can find,
-Tony.Newton
Always trying to be helpful, Commissioner Love responded:
Tony-
That's easy. Just go to
-Zachariah Love
Hi. Two questions re: Hate Lists:
1. Who exactly is Officer Mark and what did he do to piss off Fucko?
2. What did Sherman Helmsley do to piss off Fucko?
Thanks.
-Lady Die
Gentlemen,
I happened upon the 1999 Awards page and was thrilled to discover that I am
the recipient of the Mrs. Hewey Award, presented in recognition of the player
who exhibits the best feeling for and most creative use of The Hate List. I
consider this high praise indeed. Thank you.
However, this year I did not submit a hate list, & I don't anticipate doing so
again. I have been playing the game for more than a couple of years now. I
have learned that people on the lists I compose, regardless of how sick, de-
pressed or ancient they may be, don't usually die. The Mrs. Hewey Award is
all the more meaningful because I never expect to get any cash award from
stiffs.com.
Anyhow, Louis Farrakhan was a near miss on my "Venom" list last year, when he
recovered from a disease that should have been lethal. I have lived ever since
with a feeling of uneasy guilt, because his name being on my list may very well
be the reason that the rotten SOB is still with us. The fun of composing a
good hate list cannot justify using the life-giving powers that my lists seem
to have to sustain evil people. In hindsight I should have played somebody
cool, like Shel Silverstein.
So thank you for the compliment, and I am very, very sorry.
-Venom
Z
can you resend your message. It was cut off, suspensefully, just when you were
about to list the answer to my question.
thank you
-tony newton
Hey guys,
I've put your link to my site about cannabis,
http://www.fortunecity.com/bennyhills/deadparrot/803/kaka.html
is it ok. Site is only in my native landuage, but
anyway, some people will realy see this
My address is
[deleted for privacy]
good luck!
-marius
just beginning my perusal. like the looks of your site so you can email your
shit to me at [deleted for privacy]
-eneurian
here is I is buckwheat
-Bazooka79
heya stiffs.com
This site is too damn funny, I love the betting pool. Please can ya tell me
how I can list a number of entries for the betting pool?? And.......Is there
any restriction on voting on dead celebs' not based in the USA??!
Thanxs
-Sam
Just wondering the status of Gene Shallit, the wunderbar movie critic,
and his destiny?
-Andrew Fisher
Well.....here's a morbid thought.......what if....WE are really the Dead
Ones....throwing the bones , pulling up profits....a snicker , a shudder
....a slight mocking of the passing of the Greats , or near-greats , or
ingrates...people whose lives were lived fully but now are the brief
diet of cyber-scrawlers.... What happens when IRONY dies ??? An entire
modern institution of easy humor and faceless rivals , in competion
for..... ?? Ask not for whom the bell tolls....it tolls for the lucky
few who made a difference and will be remembered . May we all be so
lucky to die and land on someone's Top 10 List . What ever you choose ,
just don't follow a bottle of Aussie cabernet with a bottle of Carolans'
Irish Cream....the heartburn alone ain't worth it . Fucking rain ..
-rstriegel
On the basis of what I saw last night on the Grammy's, any one with Bob Dylan
on their list should at least get partial credit. The only reason that
sonofabitch is still upright is the drugs. The guy has so many chemicals in
him he has the shelf-life of a Twinkie.
-Hawkeye
I figure always ask the bartender..he knows everyone's secrets.
I'm trying to find out if Dr.Elizabeth
Kubler Ross is dead.You seemed to be the folks who would know.
You'll be the first people I
notify if I start feeling a bit off. Thanks.Not quite dearly
departed,
-Katie
Hi,
I was wondering if there was an area on your web site that explains who the
dead people are. I was wondering if Jean McArthur was "Maude" on
TV. (Or one of the cranky "Golden Girls". Thanks for the uplifting
site. It's good to be alive.
-Shawn
HELLO,
WELL I THOUGHT I SAW EVERYTHING ON THE WEB
THEN I FOUND YOU GUYS. THAT IS NOT A KNOCK.
YOUR SITE IS DEFINETLY INTERESTING.
TWO QUESTIONS THOUGH, WHO THE HELL IS
MADAME CHAING KAI-SHEK AND IAN DURY? AND HOW OLD ARE
THESE PEOPLE TO BE IN THE TOP 15? YES I'VE BEEN
ACCUSED OF NOT GETTING OUT ENOUGH SO BEAR WITH ME!!!!
I'M BUMMED I MISSED OUT ON JOINING YOUR CONTEST,
BUT GOD WILLING AND HOPEFULLY I WON'T PAY POINTS ON SOMEONE
ELSE'S DEAD POOL(WE ALL HAVE ENEMIES) I WILL JOIN NEXT YEAR.
THANK YOU.
-MIKE BATTISTA.
Me and my sister have been trying to find out if Richard Dawson is dead
or not. Got this site from a friend and thought maybe you could help us.
Thanks,
-R. Pittner
Nobody had Craig Claiborne, the chef?
How tasteless.
-Scott Ecker
HI, I' VE BEEN A FAN OF YOUR SITE FOR AWHILE , EVER SINCE I
CROSSED UPON IT BY ACCIDENT ONE DAY. ANYWAY THE REASON FOR
MY WRITING IS THAT I HAVE NOT BEEN ABLE TO LOCATE THE A
THRU Z SECTION FOR CELEBRITY DEATHS. IT WAS GREAT TO
BROWSE THRU A CERTAIN LETTER OF THE ALPHABET ,AND SEE ANY
ADDITIONS. IS THIS SITE STILL AVAILABLE. AND IF SO HOW DO I
ACCESS IT. THANKS
-BOWFIX
your mom's skull is tight, like a 15 year old.
-Peggy Holmes
What about Richard Wilson aka Mr. Whipple? Is he famous?
-Andrew C. Fisher
Zach--
Just thought you'd like to know that a Turkish newspaper (Huriyet)
reports that Pravda is reporting that Boris Yeltsin died way back in August
of 1999. I don't know whether this is a true report -- in fact it probably
isn't -- but it brings up the issue of that damned provision again.
-Jason Arvey
According to the drudgereport.com, Rush Limbaugh's mother passed. "The way
things ought to be."
-Jim Whalen
Just received my stiffs.com coffee mug.....i love wrapping my lips around
that heavy white thing!
-Bernice (a.ka. Lady Die)
Stiffies:
The blurb that keeps on giving....
TOM FEARS...Not anymore.
DON BUDGE...Not anymore.
SID ABEL...Not anymore.
Too bad you guys weren't around for Sid Vicious.
-Mulch Monkey
You guys gonna do the NCAA tournament contest again this year?
I thought it was cool. Tell F.T. Clown I'll give him a
chance to win his mug back. A Stiffs.com hat vs. my mug.
-Dave Williams in Puyallup
HEY CHARLIE! thanks so much for your letter and the birthday cards!(not to
mention the wax plaque:)) how are you?! it's sounds like you are doin' fine!
damn girl, you're gettin' all of these guys and i am stuck here with no
one:( is that paul guy hot? are you sure it was me in the picture?! manuel
doesn't like me which really blows so i guess i will just have to become a
nun(well....no) i miss you soooo much! you HAVE to come and visit really
soon. how is your school there? nothin' much has changed here. well anyways,
write me back as soon as you get this!
love always,
-jules
So Zach...........
The pretty-boy Bruins against the Terps in the 2nd round (that is if the
uclans don't bend over for BALL ST).....
We'll see if the terps suck......
How about a little wager??
Let me know if you are interested........i am definitely joining
your ESPN group.......cool idea.....
Oh yeah.....Kapono is a fag and Rick Monday rules!!!
-Rick Jordan
Didn't know where to put this.
Inside Info.
Fairbanks Jr about to do the big check-out.
Courtesy,
-The CHOSEN
Hi Zach,
Hope this finds you sunny and bright as usual. You got not only my obit
but my email wrong. Thanks for the picture, though.
Love David
PS Im not dead.
Love David
PPS
Here's a tip for you. A friend at LAPD informs me that there is a
contract out on Puff Daddy, He said something about...
Sugar? Shoe? Fugue? Something like that. I dunno, it all happened so
fast.
Love David
PPPS
Where in the hell has Damon Scharlatt been hiding?
Love David
PPPS
I have a present for you that I think even you will like.
Love David,
PPPPS
Im still not dead.
-David Baerwald
Temple in the Finals vs. Michigan State? Hmmmmm....interesting pick.
Looks like you've got a strong showing so far. Gonzanga tripped you
up yesterday.....I know the feeling myself; I picked St. Bonaventure as my
5-12 seed upset. Good luck the rest of the way.
-Jeff, sweating out the Florida-Butler game at the moment.
Read about Texas' second statewide conference on obituary writing.
Do you have any information on it?
-Carolyn Ulmer
I'm not sure if you heard the following or not, so here goes:
EDGEFIELD, S.C. (AP) -- Anna Gertrude Thurmond, the 95-year-old sister
of U.S. Sen. Strom Thurmond, died Tuesday in a nursing home.
But the question is.... How and why did this happen? I propose to you the
following: I think that her death was a cover-up for the secret redneck love
tryst between her and the Senator. I believe that even at her advanced age,
she was carrying his twisted, hate filled, future Grand Dragon spawn. With
the future presidential race on the line, the powers that be snuffed her out
in the nursing home. If all goes well, that sister lovin', would be breeder,
Senator Thurmond, whose wheel is turning, but the hamster is dead, will not
be able to go on living by himself. He will "off" himself in an extravagant
manner, hopefully with that big thrashing execution device made popular in
the first century A.D. (affectionately known as the "big ass melon chopper",
as seen in the Bob Guccione's tragically compelling 1980 Penthouse Films
release, "Caligula").
But I digress, all I want is a friggin' point when the Thurmonator kicks it.
So let me just give you the motive for the crime in simple terms: Senator
Thurmond, in the nursing home, with the stromboli.
-Nick
Zach,
In the early 80's, Bowie Kuhn, the commisioner of Baseball, wore a short
sleeve shirt to a World Series game on a rainy,45 degree night in Philadelphia.
He did this under the mistaken notion that if people saw him in shirtsleeves, they
would automatically assume that the weather was good, and they would agree
with his opinion that it was acceptable to play baseball at night in late October.
Do you think that by not noting the passing of Bob McKiitrick in this years deaths
that we would say," Well, I guess that he wasn't famous enough, he wasn't listed
on this years deaths". Guess again. This was noted in every paper, and in the text
of an accompaning story about Mr. McKittrick. Very weak. Very disappointed in
you guys. You guys are better than this.
-Mr. Bateman
Evolha irah Caz
What do you think about the human conscience?
Do you think could you buy anyone in a south america country?
Do you think we walk on the streets with a ticket wrote our price?
Do you think that my price is only 10 dollars?
If you thought is this, I would like to clarify some questions.
It's all true!!!!!!!
My mind have a price, and you - and yours dollars - bought me.
Take this offers:
knee: 0.25 U$
left hand: 3000 U$
right hand: 758,99 U$
old junkie paunch: 4.000.657,38 pesos
three damaged tooth: 37 U$ + 23,6 Yens + two potate chips
20 cm gullet: 3,05 U$
my nymph nephew: 3 Lewis jeans
The ten dollars what you send me was well spended :
I bought four new house to my parents, brothers, sisters, cats and
chickens.
Pay some whores .
Give some partys for my neighbour
Bought some guns ( 9mm, Uzi, Ar-15, FAL)
eat 3,8 hot dogs
cut my hair and cut my uncle's head
Patent matutine eggs
put 7,85 U$ in savings account .
Bought some pictures: Bill Gates, Liberace, Lee Oswald, Rin-Tin_tin, Padre
Marcelo Rossi.
Send 17 Emergency Hospital to Chechenia.
In that moment the children die on the street, old people work like pig and
don't complain, my cousin cut claw, o]c ,ORKORWDIOSml:C
XLXZl[PLD,.D..D
.Q'WE;[WEWQEWPEPQp=-=c
csml;kasl;al;©©©
God save the whales!!!!!!!!!!
I'm hungry !!!!!!! Help-me, Zacha!!!!!!
Don't let me die in the misery..... My old mom cry at the door, my son
scream cause yours fingers was eated by the rats!!!!!
I watch TV and Axl Rose sing "Perfect Crime".... I think about all shit....
my gun on the table... i can fell my hand shake... my baby ask for
justice!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!years and years of war and pain... the society
is evil...the horror... the horror...
I hear the sound of chains in my mind... the pain.... can you fell
this?????JUSTICE!!!!!
JUSTICE and compassion... help me Zacha!!!!!! You can close yours eyes. You
can close your car window when you walk on the american paradise. But our
suffering will still there. On your mind....
Help me Zacha!!!!!!!!!
Give me 50 U$. You know what to do. Just do it. Talk about it with your
friends. They will understand our drama.
God have mercy of us.
In God we trust.
In Dollar too...
-Ronaldo, the hungry south american guy.
Ladies and Gentlemen,
ist would be nice, to have your sites in German too...
Sincerly
-YoYo
Zach:
Either you've been hacked or this is one hell of an April Fool's Joke.
Going to www.stiffs.com, I'm getting something Brazilian!
-Bob Hulsey, Mulch Monkey
That was the funniest april fool's i've ever seen! I'm still laughing so
hard i'm crying!
you guys are FANTASTIC!
I love this website! Thank you so much.
a very new and devoted fan,
-lynn bly
you're not gonna believe this. no... on second thought you probably
will. i JUST realized what day it is! sure beats salt in the coffee
....... i have been having this problem with april this year. first
it came a month early, and then not at all. god, i gotta get out of the
abstract once in awhile....
-pope
jesus christ! if i'd taken 10 seconds to actually LOOK at the
page....! ouch! ouch! cut it out!
-pope
Yo Zach,
What is going on with the site? Man, it looks like you've been
hacked by some sort of...oh you asshole...I just got it...
-SeaPepto
Would love it if you had Stats ,Facts, Figures for the JR.
I know the April just started and it takes time to design, but hell, the
Z-5000 could do this in no time.
Someone at work told me I was morbid by hoping to profit from death, I said
"You know the profit margin on a fucking casket? That,s morbid."
Your site is great.
-Chad and Michelle
I was just recently invited to enter your Temple of Doom,
and.....well........
all I have to say right now is, YOU GUYS ARE FUCKED!!!!
AND, I LOVE IT!!!
I'll definitely be back to read all!
Yours Truly in Life AND Death,
-Julia
Long live the new rules.
I read some guy named Ian Dury died in E.W. and last year lot of people had
him.(or her). No celeb at all. Good work with the new rules.
-TEEJ414
Friends, Romans, Countrymen
Saw his holyness on TV when he toured the holy lands.
I am by now convinced that he'll never die. Should I
be wrong - here are my blurb suggestions:
1. Finally gets to kiss the earth from the other side
2. With John Paul gone the next Pope will surely call
himself George Ringo.
Liked the Ian Dury one - a bit too easy, though.
Looking forward to the April Lee Jr.
Cheerio,
-Christoph
I tried to enter the April Jr. contest on March 31
(just waiting til the last minute to make sure no
one I wanted kicked) but when I tried submitting
my info the damn WebTV came up saying "this
screen is too big", yada yada. And I did this
twice with the same entries, so I want to make
sure I wasn't charged twice. Would it be too
late to make an entry if it didn't go through?
Thanks for any help...and that was a cool April
Fool's joke. That was a Finnish site wasn't it?
Talk about a finish ;-{)}.
-Mark Przybyszewski
Dear Commish,
I hope this link is, er, "live," by the time you read it.
It informs the world of the death of Terrence McKenna, who was a
rave-meister of psyche-monies, wa-ay back in the daze when Ronald Reagan
could do crossword puzzles, and George Bush threw up on the Japanese.
It was a time when kids would emulate hippies, do drugs, and pretended
to care about each other, while listening to the ramblings of Shaman
McKenna.
Maybe it was a West Coast thing, like North Beach as opposed to
Greenwich Village, or Fillmore West compared to Fillmore East, but he
was awful, Doug Henning awful, Jean-bloody-Jean, Oliver awful.
And it has been a pathetic year.
And, as my union carpenter friend, Bill, remarked awhile back, that he'd
like to know when people die - and thankfully, while there's lots of
that at your site, and you've kept it free of commercial enterprise such
as evil Doubleclick, Life Insurance companies, 1800 Flowers, morticians,
and the like, a messenger service, ala AOL or Yahoo, might be kind of
nifty.
Anyway, Terrence McKenna died.
A Votre Sante,
-Peter
Larry Linville (Frank Burns of the show M.A.S.H. died yesterday. He's not
here. You guys slacking off or something??
-Peter Duffy
let me know when I can join up in the next competition. I'm dead serious
-Scdjed
Send me stuff.
Thanks,
p.s. I am into this sort of thing. The funny part is all the people who
judge me and say this is sick, then they turn around and ask for the web
site!!!!!!!!
-Alonzo, Timothy J. HM2
zach-thank you for putting a lock on the fridge. now i have an excuse not to
go into that god-forsaken chat room. i was too weak myself to quit but now i
have found the strength. even if i beg, do not, do not, give me a password.
yours;
-nurseboy.
p.s. can i have a password?
This is the best web site ever!! Ever!!
How about a special section for suicides?
-Stuart Weiner DDPCA
So far you haven't put the legendary goth/macabre illustrator Edward
Gorey on
the list... perhaps the reason is no good blurb.
My submissions:
E is for Edward whose heart caved in
No noticable difference in his demeanor so far
-TimHarrod
I am so sorry i haven't written for so long baby! I had some really
upsetting news today. Sweepy has been put down.She was terribly ill
and was permanently in pain, it was the kindest thing we could do for
her)^= so i am really down in the dumps about that. But i am also
amazingly tired because i slept over at emelia's house last night,
well i don't think sleepover is an acceptible term seeing as we all
got to bed at 8am and slept for about an hour and a half! So as you
can imagine, i am a wee bit tired and not quite with it today! It was
me, julie( she went to bed at about 1am!) emelia and about 4 of
emelia's brother's cute german friends!!!! I had fun but emelia's 20
year old brother was hitting on me and he is really nasty!!!!! Don't
worry, i told him where to go! I am going to movieworld on thursday
with emelia and chris schneider( his family is driving us there!!) so
i am pretty excited about that, but apart from that i have shit loads
of homework to do!! And i really can't be assed to do it! Well there's
no surprise!!! How are you doing in school? Have you traded your
previous boyfriend in for another yet!!!? I went to England for a whole
day( yes, 1 day!) last friday to check out sixth form colleges, and it
looks like i will be going to the Droitwich Spa Sixth form college, it
seemed pretty nice! So we will probably be buying a house in the
droitwich/worcester area. But we will still be within reach of each
other! ummmm.....apart from that nothing much has happened. So i am
gonna go sleep for an eternity! Have a wonderful Easter honey! i miss
you loads but love you more!
-hev XXX
Greg,
Dude, like buy Zach a beer. He's way too stressed out about this
April Jr. game.
-Dr. B.
Hello zlove ,
Thank you for writing; we have forwarded your mail to the appropriate
Microsoft group for review and response. Your comments are very
important to us. By taking the time to write, you are helping us provide
the best-possible products and services. Thanks again!
Sincerely,
Mark
microsoft.com Customer Support
--- Original Message ---
From: zlove@mediaone.net
To: microsoftcom_contactus@css.one.microsoft.com
Sent: 4/8/2000 3:41:00 AM
Subject: Microsoft.Com Contact Us
User selected feedback type: Product, General Comments
Product:Internet Explorer 5
User country: United States
Language ID: en
User browser: Mozilla/4.0 (compatible; MSIE 5.0; Windows 95; DigExt)
User Comment:
I'VE BEEN TRYING TO UNINSTALL THIS PIECE OF SHIT FOR HALF
AN HOUR, AND THE CLOSEST I GET IS A SCREEN TELLING ME THAT
IF I DELETE THE BACKUP INFORMATION, I'LL SAVE 3MB OF DISK
SPACE, BUT I WILL NO LONGER BE ABLE TO UNINSTALL IE5. I
CAN'T UNINSTALL THE FUCKING THING NOW, SO WHAT'S THE DEAL?
THE ADD/REMOVE PROGRAMS PROCESS JUST WANTS TO ADD MORE
FEATURES. ARE YOU ASSHOLES STILL IN THE DARK ABOUT WHY
EVERYONE HATES MICROSOFT?
Zach and Greg:
As Phil Rizzutto used to say when he would have to correct himself on his
Yankee broadcasts, which was often, "Check that!" on my earlier
merchandise message.
Only hours after sending that inquiry, my mail lady just drove up and
personally handed me my priority-mail package from you guys. Very
impressive, top-notch, quality stuff -- the cap, especially. I'll wear it
proudly.
If you ever need a reference or recommendation about people wondering
whether or not they should buy your stuff, send 'em my way.
Thanks again,
-Mike
Got the T-shirt. I was a little worried about what the caption would say.
This is great. Thanks!
-Terry Zimmerman
WHERE'S THE FREAKIN' LEE JUNIOR!!!!!????
-Lady Die
Dear Sender,
Due to the vulgarity of your email message you will not receive a response
from Adaptec. Limited Time Offer: Reduced price on Adaptec's new Ultra 160
products when purchased with a companion cable Bundle URL
SCSI Card 19160 http://www.adaptecstore.com/24306
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Carrie Koch
Adaptec On-line Sales Rep.
At 02:28 PM 4/26/00 -0600, you wrote:
>IF YOU DON'T RECOMMEND EDITING MY REGISTRY FILE, HOW THE
>FUCK DO I GET THIS PIECE OF SHIT OFF MY COMPUTER?
>
>I CAN'T USE THE PROGRAM I WANT TO USE BECAUSE THIS
>UNSTOPPABLE FUCKING PIECE OF FUCKING SHIT HAS LOCKED MY
>CD-R AND I CAN'T SHUT IT THE FUCK OFF!!
>
>I WANT TO DISABLE IT NOW!!
>
>I WANT IT OUT OF MY TASK BAR AND OFF MY COMPUTER!!
>
>WHO THE FUCK DO YOU GUYS THINK YOU ARE, MICROSOFT?!?
>
>I AM ANGRY!!!
>
>Zachariah Love, Commissioner
>The Lee Atwater Invitational Dead Pool
>http://stiffs.com - A really neat site.
Hi can you guys tell me if the recent reports about Bob Hope having only
days to live is true.
-Nate
cardinal o'connor
visiting his maker
-Evan Kutner
I'm surprised you hadn't included Steve Reeves
yet. Surely the man who played Hercules in all
those cheesy 60's movies merits some mention.
What about "Even Hercules had his weakness,
or was that Achilles?" or "World's strongest
man? I don't think so." You probably can come
up with better.
-Mark Przybyszewski
Zack,
It was with great anticipation that I pulled up my bracket to revel in
its newly updated glory--only to discover to my horror that I had
inadvertently selected Carroll O'Connor instead of Cardinal O'Connor.
Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. How could I have been so stupid? My day is just
ruined. Oh well. At least I've still got nearly seven months for
Archie Bunker's ticker to give out.
Your in grief,
-SeaPepto
Hey, Dorks!
Steve Reeves, that hunka-hunka-mighty Hercules from those terrible old
movies died. All across America, sixty-year old homosexuals are shedding
a collective tear for the first toga-toting galoot to create that special
stirring "down there."
-Professor Plum (Definitely not a sixty-year old homosexual, not that
there's anything wrong with that.)
Hi
Yes I have bookmarked you. I think the poor Pope is next. All those
planets in Taurus in conjunction and Pope John is a Taurus. Could go
either way!
See ya
-Mel
Hey, I thought Douglas Fairbanks Jr. WAS dead!
-lady die
Ya missed a stiff for this year: John Colicos, the guy who played Baltar
on "Battlestar Galactica", went on March 6th. Surely the least-sinister
villain in cheap-TV-SF history deserves some sort of a nod? Hell, even
TV Guide thought it was funny...
-Samantha Lynn (tG)
Do any of you units know Karsten Solheim? I just read he shuffled off
on February 16. I know he's not a household name, but he could be
considered by some as famous. If any of you swing Pings, you know who I
mean. Not that it does me any good; I'm still 0-fer this year, but
still looking for a big second half. If you knew, but didn't include
him on the list, sorry for bothering you.
Later.......
-Stooge
Hi, my name is Donald Jackson and I have a wrestling deathpool,
which is the only one on the internet and I was wondering if we could
hook up each others site with links. Please let me know what you think.
-Donald Jackson
Get to work, Adam Petty is petty.
-Bob Smith
Douglas Fairbanks, Jr.:
Gunga Done.
-John
Is Fucko in rehab? March 10th is his last spewing of hate, so I need some
answers. Where ishe and when are you getting him lumpy ass back on the stick?
Yo uare the commissioner for Christ's sake!! Use your authority and power!!
Better yet, give me the mother fucker's home phone number or email address and
I harrass him myself.
Its not like I log on everyday to see if the dipshit has responded to anything,
just need some affirmation that I'm still more clever than someone in the world ..
reading this simple fuck does it for me.
-Jeffrey Haslauer (Sarcasm Man)
PS ... Make some people die ... Jesus .. what a slow year
mother theresa
-Theresa Norton
As if things haven't been dull enough around here, the annual Summer
Slowdown approaches, that ungodly time when creeky celebrity giants
hang-on by their fingernails like unnatural freaks of nature.
Fortunately, it is a tradition that some bright young thing step
forward, do something incredibly stupid, and sacrifice themselves on the
altar of 24- hour news. Perhaps Patrick Kennedy will be sucked into a
jet engine while demanding to board his flight with a steamer trunk.
Maybe Madonna will suffer a fatal stroke as she berates her hapless maid
for feeding little Lourdes genetically altered granola. Or Natalie, of
the Dixie Chicks, might choke on a cheeseburger.
Whatever or whoever, our summer doldrums are sure to be ended by the
tragic demise of some heretofore unrecognized political, comedic,
artistic, or other sort of youthful genius, providing fodder for the
kind of communal breastbeating about unfulfilled potential and shattered
dreams that make my own miserable life worth living.
Past summers have been energized by Princess Di and JFK, Jr., allowing
for truly magnificent wallowing in maudlin voyeurism. Who knows? The
field's wide open, but my money is on a Kennedy answering the call of
duty.
Actually, I can't wait for those happy, slappy days of summer. The
suspense may kill me.
-John
I've got a good one for Paul Bartel, the actor/
director of "Eating Raoul" and other movies who
died recently:
"Death Race 2000"? Hit it right on the nose.
I think, considering his unique humor, he might
have liked that.
-Mark "Eyechart" Przybyszewski
Barbara Cartland, 98
Romancing the tombstone
-Joe Allen
As Reginald gently caressed her heaving breasts, she died.
-Mr. & Mrs. SeaPepto
John Gielgud Throw's a Seven (which actually gave me a massive victory in
another dead pool)
Most memorable for being a THeatre actor, Larry Olivier's mate and
appearing in Caligula.
"I don't recall that there was that much sex when I read the original pay
check"
Regards
-MDSMuttley
We have a real problem here. We are having arguyments as to which died
first, Barbara Cartland or John Gielgud, any idea where we could get more
details on the "expiry times"??
Thanks
-Mike
Man, even your star player didn't have Gielgud on his
list! Now that I realize how many novices I'm dealing
with, that Grand Prize will definitely pay some of my
bills. Post me on the next Lee Jr., Junior.
-Dr. Drew
..... or whether, listen to this:.......... When will you remove the
"pathetic" disclaimer at the bottom of the 2000 death list??? Its almost
June. You got enough on the list to populate a respectiveful sized burial
cemetary..... PS THANKS for not including the Petty boy on your list.
Locally (Charlotte, NC) TV Guide will be publishing a special edition
just to commenorate his death. As if. It is simply a ploy to pander to
the multitudes (mindless, at that) who Love to OOGLE at SHINY Elaborate
Racecars, i.e. LOSER(s).
Honorably requested by ...
-liz
WE HAVE A COUPLE OFF HUNDRED POUND RIDING ON WHO DIED FIRST
BARBARA CARTLAND OR JOHN GIELGUD
WE KNOW THEY DIED THE SAME DAY BUT WERE REPORTED ON
DIFFERENT DAYS CAN YOU HELP
-JOHN
I cannot believe there can be anyone worse than us.
-"The Duke Off York (deceased, Bethnal Green).
You total bastard. Nice one. Incidentally, never let your bollox dangle in the dust.
Now that's two bloody letters I've sent.
-Palmer
PS send me a woman (with instructions!)
I was hoping someone other than me remembered STRIPES in respect to Mr.
Puente. I think he's fabulous...................
Bravo
-AndyNYC1
Zach,
I groove on your blurbs as much as anyone, and I get a good laugh out of
all of them. But, I beseech you, if Bob Hope goes to that big USO tour
in the sky, give him a respectful blurb. Like hundreds of thousands of
servicemen, I recall with real fondness what he did for us. For me, it
was Christmas, 1967, Udorn, Thailand, during the Viet Nam conflict. I
can't adequately express how he and his troop raised our spirits and made
us feel closer to home. I still remember, a bunch of us were sitting at
the officers' club that night, thinking about home, and one of the guys
said, "You know, I feel better now, and it was that show today that did
it." We all nodded and agreed, and I have never forgotten that moment.
For me, the only fitting comment on his passing would be "thanks for the
memories." Trite and stale, I suppose, but exactly right for Bob. If you
guys will give him a fitting comment, I will even stop bugging Fucko, which
I'm sure will be a relief to him.
Thanks,
-Dave Williams
Hurricane Higgins is STILL famous!!!! Ah ha ha ha - I haven't
menstruated upon you for that fame committee thing for months so you've
been overdue! Be well.
-Deathpool Dave
wanna compete
how?
-Helmut Zenker
Bob Hope
I say we eat his remains
-Richard Meredith
There's a certain irony to your address, because ALL your stuff belongs
in the trashbin. Your site isn't nearly as funny as you think.
-sarah hooker
Hey!
Don't work yer asses off! You'll having nothing to sit on, and standing
all day gets old in a hurry!
The confusing thing about the Lee Jr. break until MomDay page is that the
survey went there upon submission.
Jeff MacNelly is dead; the Shoe is on the other foot? You guys are now
in charge!
-Paul
fedyjkbcxzsjyrtgfvbgvhfhhjouyui8yjj..........
-configitn
Hey is the guy that drew the cartoon "Shoe" considered
famous? He just died June 8. His website is: www.macnelly.com
and his name is Jeff MacNelly. I think the dude warrants an
obituary treatment on the Recent Deaths page. But that's just
my ridiculous, alcohol-enhanced opinion.
I figure that you already know about his passing and are
saying DUH!!! to my inquiry. But I felt compelled to email
y'all.
Cheers-- I'm having a rum-and-coke even as we speak,
-Paula
Men,
Enjoy "This year's deaths" and "Hate Lists" best. What is it with Rick
Monday? Is he that much a dick? I don't remember him being that
obnoxious as a player back in the 70's.
You know who I REALLY can't stand? It's that ghastly little girl in the
Pepsi commercials with the dark glasses. Man, is she obnoxious.
-Willie
who is...
FiPhus Finkle???
-Jgildkane
Actually, I'm not a jerk, but I love that prick Fucko--he is convinced I'm a 19 year old
white chick--I wanted to prove that this is HARDLY the case! Can you pass my
picture on to him and tell him I GOTTA MAN!!!
You guys have a fantastic website--you should be professional comedy writers or
something!
Late!
-Jackie Smith
Zach,
Are you dead in the water, or did some )(@*&% zap ya from the DNS here at
work?
What's the IP address of www.stiff.com (more than one way to skin an
administrator).
TIA!
-Paul
As I was making my usual peruasl of the AP wire and then checking the
stiffs.com site - I found that I have not been able to access stiffs.com
for a day or so...
you on vacation? Geez, I wanted to crow about Empress Nagako in the
alt.stiffs
wazzup?
-R. Meredith (aka Go See God)
Zach,
16 June 2000: stiffs.com--limp now. Incredibly, NO ONE had it!
Still looks dead in the water from here, as did from home a couple of
hours
ago.
-Paul
Esteemed Commisioner:
Be advised that at The Pinellas Park Library, in Pinellas Park, Florida,
those right-wing assholes have blocked your page via Surf Watch. Guess
some people there think Stiffs.com is "obscene" or something. Go figure.
Nice, eh?
-Scott Levison
Suggestion: Hey guys, it can't accurately be called "What's New", when
it's almost TWO MONTHS OLD. How about "What Old, Because We're Too Lazy
To Change It?" Then again, I suppose that we get what we pay for.
-davidaisaacs
hey just thought i'd cum out and say hi! Really cool web site:o) y don't
you get ahold of me at [deleted for privacy] and we'll keep in touch
hmmmm if you want to
-Tamarah
Hey, you ghouls,
F.Y.I., British actor David Tomlinson, most widely recognized for playing
stuffed shirt George Banks in MARY POPPINS, is dead, dead, dead. I read
it on the web, so it must be TRUE!
-Ken Bearden
put me on yor mailing list, please!!! (before i die, anyway)
i have to wait until next year to play, don't i??
do you have any other contests i can be in now?? (before i'm dead, of
course)
'tanks
-Kartman862
Since I first saw that Dirty Harry movie (I know, what a cliché) I've
been playing in local dead pools and was thrilled when someone told me
about your site. What I have interpreted as your definition of what a
dead pool should be is right in line with my own. In the past few months,
however, I've been perusing the web board and noticed a great deal of
whining over the rules and the game's definition of fame.
I'm typing this in the hope that you don't cave in to the "big dogs" and
loud mouths who have been complaining. It seems to me that the only thing
they really want is to bend the rules of the game to give themselves the
greatest advantage to win. They come off like failed pitchers trying to
get
Selig to reinstate the spitball. I want to play in a dead pool where the
spirit of the game is to pick celebrities that you think are going to
die, not one where you find people who are dying and then try and spin
it so that they are considered famous.
With all due respect to the winners and leaders that play the game, I
think that their ideas of who should be considered famous will lead to a
pretty boring dead pool. Maybe it will make them happy, but I doubt it
will expand the popularity of the game or thrill the hundreds of us who
enjoy gunning for that leaderboard by playing the game and not trying to
manipulate it to our advantage.
Thanks for listening to me bitch and moan (that is, if you're still
reading this crap). Keep up the good work.
peace, love, flowers and all of that crap,
-The Doctor
An item for the "This Year's Death's" section:
What about Gary Graham, recently executed in Texas?
Just thought I'd "inject" that suggestion.
Thanks,
-James R. Augir
What about Fred Lane(professional football player)?
He got set to that big grid iron in the sky by his wife yesterday.
-José
Hey Yo,
I stumbled upon your site and an entranced! I would love some
info on diving into the pool.
Monsters do exist,
-J
I'll have an Ameretto sour and a shot of Beefeater, thanks.
-J
Hi Stiffs-Team,
could I get one of the cool stickers? I like your Website.
Greatings vom Germany.
-Dorte "Darkman" Dunkelmannn
LOOKING FOR A WEB SITE THAT WILL TELL ME WHO DEID AND
WHO ARE STILL ALIVE A LIST OF ALL CELEBRITY FROM ALL OVER.
SPORTS, MOVIES BROADWAY PLAYS, AND FAMOUS PEOPLE
THANK YOU
-WILLIAM THOMPSON JR
P.S. WRITE ME BACK
Meredith MacRae
"Billie Jo Go Flo Jo"
-Joseph M Hunt
I would put this in my dunny to look at it when i nead a hurry up.
-Debbie Hauser
The Mighty Bifkin does not approve. You will be notified of further act
ion. Be warned.
-satwill
Paul Young
Of the horrid 80's rock band Mike and the Mechanics. Heart attack I
believe. He was the lead singer.
Man, they sucked. It had the guy from Genesis in it. Mike Rutherford.
-Willie
Hey Zach,
This is Tim Henson from Distorted View. A couple of weeks ago you appeared
on the show to discuss your site http://www.stiffs.com . I just wanted to
say thanks for calling in, we had a great time having you on the program. You
were one of the first guests we had since we started broadcasting from the
Real-Talk studios in Dallas, Texas so you'll have to excuse any technical
problems that occured. :-) Anyways, just wanted to drop you a note and say
thanks. If you'd like to hear the broadcast you were on, stop by
http://www.distortedview.com . You appeared on the July, 5th, 2000 show.
Thanks again and we hope to have you guys on again sometime.
-Tim Henson
P.S. Tell Fucko I said Hi.
zACHA:
ALL IS FINSHED.
The book is on the table. Good morning Mrs Smiths.
I'drather have some tea if you don't mind.
Crisis???what crisis?????????????
My prostate exame is false.
"Human law is framed for the mass of men, the majority of whom are not
perfectly virtuous."
-St. Thomas Aquinas
My point is that I don't understand why these people do these things,
but I'm still interested..
-Ronaldo
You should have pics of dead people. If you know of any web sites that
show autopsy's, dead people pics, or any other gross stuff, please e-mail
me @ [deleted for prvacy] or [deleted for prvacy]. I would appriciate it.
Thank you.
-tnat1996
hey
-BizzkitBabe
hi
-BizzkitBabe
Dear Sir or Madam,
I'm already in a goddamn golf pool, which is as close as you can come to
betting on death. Time is ripe to get in on the real thing.
Send all appropriate information.
-Stan Duffy
You guys die, or what? The stiffs are piling up out
here. When you gonna update the
list? (And don't give us the " my
mom/dad/wife/girlfriend/dog died" routine, 'cause
we all know that we aren't the type of audience who cares.
-Jon Benson
Paul Young--Who actually peformed with groups named
Johnny Dark & the Midnights and the Toggery Five, but
is probably best known for his work with Mike & The
Mechanics, eg "The Living Years" and "All I Need Is a
Miracle." I guess so.
Adam Petty--maybe too petty.
Logan Ramsey--"Star Trek fans will recognize him as
"Claudius Marcus" in the episode: "Bread and
Circuses." Interestingly, Ramsey's father, then naval
officer Lt. Comdr. Logan Ramsey, Sr., was the man who
sounded the alarm at the outbreak of the Japanese
attack on Pearl Harbor. He also sent the historic
message, 'Air Raid Pearl Harbor, This Is No Drill.'"
Evidently, neither was this.
Ras Shorty I--mentor to Bob Marley. C'mon, Cub Koda
made it on the list.
Johnny Duncan--" Tennessee hillbilly singer who helped
pave the way for Britain's rock revolution." May have
been responsible for skiffle and other musical
atrocities.
Hermann H. Kurzweg--Rocket scientist. Here's another
thing he didn't need his education for.
Justin Pierce--exited ala David Strickland, in a Vegas
hotel. Coincidence? Yeah, right.
James Hill--"Hill and the rest of the Nashville-based,
Alabama-bred Fairfield Four rose to prominence during
the 1940s, joining acts like the Dixie Hummingbirds,
the Five Blind Boys, and the Soul Stirrers as the most
popular gospel outfits of the day. They were
celebrated for their renditions of traditional hymns,
tight haronies, and Hill's baritone voice.
The group disbanded in 1950, but reformed in 1980, and
continued to perform and release albums like 1998's
Wreckin' the House. In 1989 they were designated as
National Heritage Fellows by the National Endowment
for the Arts. In recent years, Hill and the rest of
the Fairfield Four lent their voices to albums from
Johnny Cash, John Fogerty, Steve Earle, and Elvis
Costello."
Again I invoke the Cub Koda defense.
-Jon Benson
As an English fan of dead celebrities, I would personally endorse an online
sweepstake on exactly when the queen mother will die. I realise you deal in
dead people, but think of the scale of this... It would also REALLY piss most
English people off, which can't be a bad thing. We don't all love her y'know.
ADIOS,
-DeviLiam
HEya!
Regards,
-Nathan Hannigan
Whats up with The Blurb Of The Day? Dont get me wrong, I hate Antonio
Bandaris as much as the next guy but geez, he has been on for 3 days.
There are plenty of alive people to dig at.
-cheryl orio
Hey, Stiffmeisters --
As I was paging through the entries just now, I found myself asking all
kinds of questions. Like: "Why on earth is THAT guy on the list?" and
"How did they come up with a stupid name like THAT?" and "How come
Christopher Reeve likes to play the death lists so much?"
So here's my suggestion: next year, give each entrant a small text box,
where they can (optionally) enter any comments they like about their
list. This would make the lists more fun to read, as it would give
readers some insight into the personalities behind each list. You could
also give entrants the opportunity to make their e-mail addresses known,
so people could contact them about the game.
Just a suggestion...
-Adam J. Bezark "My Very First Death List"
I can only imagine how swamped you are with Alec Guinness blurbs, but I gotta
try...
Obi-Gone.
Must have been the old Murder by Death.
A brave knight on the silver screen.... and come to think of it, a knight in
real bloody life. One hates to make fun of the guy.
Of course, to us he'll always be John Bigelow in "Raise the Titanic," but
apparently he had performed in other films as well.
Tinker, Tailor, Soldier, Die.
-Tim Harrod
Get your info right--that Matthau obit is so wrong and unworthy of
you....
-pagan5
This is a fantastic site!!
-todom
Isn't this the best name you can have if you're dead?
WILLIAM J. UGONE, 84
Wednesday, August 9, 2000
William J. Ugone, 84
WORCESTER-- William J. Ugone, 84, of 631 Salisbury St., formerly of 500 Lake
Ave., a World War II veteran and a retired purchasing manager and purchasing agent,
died Monday, Aug. 7, at home after an illness.
He leaves his wife of 60 years, Joan L. (Gentile) Ugone; a son, James W. Ugone of
Topsfield; two daughters, Janna V. Ugone-Whalen of Northampton and Leanora P.
Horowitz of South Dartmouth; five grandchildren; nieces and nephews. He was born
in Hazardville, Conn., son of James and Vera (Buonomo) Ugone, and graduated from
Commerce High School and attended Becker Business College, now Becker Junior
College. He was an Army veteran of World War II, serving in Europe and partici-
pating in the Battle of the Bulge. He received the Purple Heart and Bronze Star.
Mr. Ugone worked 38 years for Morgan Construction Co., retiring in 1983. He was a
certified purchasing manager and purchasing agent. He then was a consultant for the
company for six years, as well as working as a volunteer at Fallon Clinic.
He was a member of St. Margaret Mary Church, the Worcester Exchange Club,
Morgan Construction Retired Men's Club, Greendale Retired Men's Club, and
American Legion Post 201. He was a life member of Disabled American Veterans
Post 4.
The funeral will be held Thursday, Aug. 10, from Mercadante Funeral Home &
Chapel, 370 Plantation St., with a Mass at 10 a.m. in St. Margaret Mary Church, 75
Alvarado Ave. Burial will be in St. John's Cemetery. Calling hours are 5 to 8 p.m.
Wednesday, Aug. 9, in the funeral home. Members of Eastside Post 201 will meet at
7 p.m. during the calling hours to conduct a ritual. Flowers may be sent or donations
may be made to Challenge Unlimited (a horse farm for handicapped children), 450
Lowell St., Andover, MA 01810.
-wbelding
Once I found a biography web site that specialized in telling whether
that person was alive or dead. My hard drive died (crashed) and I can't
seem to resurrect (find) that site again. Can you help?
Thanks
-kenhoffer
I can't see the new postings at alt.stiffs. Again. Wonder what they were
doing when the host site was closed for maintenance...
-June Elliott
I find your web page & contest very interesting & I hope to enter for 2001.
On the list, I saw a few names that are dead that I didn't see crossed off:
Durward Kirby, Sir John Gilgud, & Charles Schulz. I also believe that Leon
Askin has been dead for several years (if it's the same actor who was in
Hogan's Heroes), but I'm not sure of the date of death.
-Joe Hoffman
Dear Sirs:
As a relative of the late Grover Washington Jr, I was very disappointed to
hear that one of his siblings read the satirical comments you had about his
death. Perhaps if one of your family members passed away and their life was
treated as such an insignificant item, you would see that some of your
juvenile humor can indeed hurt some one deeply.
Sincerely,
-Jack Roberts
Hey - Fucko's picture is on the front page of the Onion today -
"Christian Prop Comic Wowing Churches From Coast To Coast". Interesting
sideline.....
-Alex Maclean
please put me on your mailing list. I want to enter for the year 2001.
This is the coolest site on the web. And I love the sickticker so i am
glad you chose to keep it. Thanks guys.
-Cheryl Orio, friend of dead people.
YOU GUYS SUCK!!
YOU JUST DESTROYED THE ONLY FUN I HAVE.
-SHARKAIDE
part 1
NOOOOOO NOOOOOO You can't quit !!!!! What will I do with this stiffs.com
sticker stuck to my computer desk? Its lost some value now that its stuck to
something. What will I do with my list of potentially dead people for NEXT
year? I won't even be able to read the obituaries next year !!!!!!! What
will I do? I gotta have my stiffs !!!! Oh the withdrawls... I'm shakin
already.... This is worse than the end of Seinfeld !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Even
more tearful than the last episode of M.A.S.H. My mother got really pissed
at me New Years Eve last year cause I was busy on the pc doing my last bit of
research for the 2000 Invitational. Now what am I going to do to piss her
off this year ??? !!
part 2
Guess we all had to grow up sometime. Thanks for the ride guys. You will be
missed.
-Misty J (gravediggers1, gravediggers2, gravediggers3)
Well this just fucking sucks. Thanks for ruining my life.
-SeaPepto
Say it ain't so! What the hell is going on? And I didn't even have
stiffs.com on my list!
Are you OK? I'm serious-like.
-Elizabeth
my e-mail address is
[deleted for privacy]
my ten tips to die are
charlton heston
kurt cobain (obviously)
elizebeth taylor
the queen mother
richard attingborough
my partner if i get fucked about again
dan gore
paul newman
gorilla monsoon
ric flair
-christa.bales
I can't believe Marlon Brando is so low on the list. He's barely above
Jan-Michael Vincent!
And howcome nobody's picked Dick Clark? Did he finally admit to selling his
soul to the devil in exchange for immortality?
-kwohlmut
You suck. And if I was to waste any more time telling you that, I would also
tell you- you still suck.
Love & Kisses,
-KB
keep me updated when you will have another pool for some serious cabbage.
-nuttella002
my email address is [deleted for privacy]. I know you are not taking any
more entries, but let me put my top ten.....
10. Richard from Survivor (I think Rudy will do it)
9. Fred Durst (Limp Bizkit sucks!)
8. Eminim (will the real Slim Shady please crap out)
7. Kelly from Survivor (She does not deserve to receive immunity anymore!)
6. Robert Downey Jr. (Need I say more)
5. 90% of the "Who wants to be a Millionaire" contestants (That is my final
answer)
4. Christina Aguillera (or as I say Christina Aqua-Velva)
3. Denny Terio
2. All of the contestants from Big Brother (talk about WHINERS)
1. Democrats (I'm not picky!)
Thanks for the site!
-Laurie Reed
Harry Oppenheimer--Diamonds are forever, but Harry's over.
-Stuart Levine
As soon as you decide that people should be dying for the benefit of others,
please let me know.
-Nieldy
Hmmm,
This site reminds me of that old issue of the National Lampoon which had a
contest to see who could come up with the most tasteless contest. The winner
came up with whoever could predict the exact date of Mamie Eisenhower's
death would win what I believe was a 2 year subscription. When the former
first lady bit the big one, the winner was announced as a nurse at Walter
Reed Medical Center
-Scott McNally
drop dead suckers
-andy dykes
I go away on vacation for a week, come back, and the site's all
changed, etc.
What the fuck's up with that?
-Mike Adair
You got a pretty nice site i think....
Love from NORWAY
-RUNE PRESTESETER
this is the sickest/coolest thing i have ever seen. the sickticker is the
best part--very creative--you people definitely have your sh*t together when
it comes to the "who's who" of the dead and dying. enough of the bs--send
me emails about the site to: [deleted for privacy]
DO NOT send emails to the e-addy that this email msg was sent from--it's my
work addy.
good luck w/ the getting cash, you sick twisted bastards. i can't wait to
tell my friends about this. makes me want to set up a website just so i can
get the free sticker.
-Julieann Beitinger
Greetings. This e-mail is to let you know your Web site has been
mentioned in "Lost in Cyberspace," a weekly column written by me, H.B.
Koplowitz.
The columns are printed in a weekly in Los Angeles called "Entertainment
Today." I also post the columns at my Web site, "Lost in Cyberspace"
, and e-mail them to newspaper and
magazine editors across the country, so sometimes one gets published
somewhere.
If you are receiving this e-mail, there is probably a link to your Web
site from one of my Web pages. If I have "borrowed" a graphic from your
site, I have given you what I call "link credit," which means that if
any of my readers click on the graphic they will be sent to your site.
Feel free to create a reciprocal link to my site.
-H.B. Koplowitz
Greetings,
I am the Technology Editor for WOAI radio in San Antonio. I produce a daily
on-air feature as well as on-line articles on various computer/Internet
related topics. I am interested in arranging a brief interview about
Stiffs.com. The interview would be taped and would last no more than five
minutes. I will pull out a couple of sound bites for use in the feature. I
work morning radio so it's easiest to reach me via email, but my direct line
before 10:30 a.m. Central (8:30 a.m. Pacific) is [deleted for privacy], I
also have voice mail at [deleted for privacy]. Ideally I'd like to schedule the
interview for around 10 a.m. Central (8 a.m. Pacific) any day in the next
week or two.
Thank you for your consideration,
-Michael Main
SORRY TO HEAR THAT THINGS ARE NOT WORKING OUT FOR YOU GUYS.
SOMETIMES LIFE SUCKS. HURRY BACK, WE"LL MISS YOU
-StarMEH51
Dear Zach,
Just a quick fan letter and word of thanks for the tons of hours of entertainment
Stiffs.com has provided to me over the last few years. I sent you guys a note
when you gave me the Mrs. Hewey Award last winter, saying it was the only prize
I expected to win. I hadn't a clue the end of the pool would be the reason. I
don't know if you'd remember, but I traded you a couple of hundred Stiffs.Com
labels for a Coffee Mug a few years back. It's been one hell of a conversation
piece, let me tell you. I'm sure it has sent some hits your way, if not a few
players from Western Massachusetts.
Anyway, it's been a blast, and I wish you, Drew and Greg all the best in your
future endeavors.
Yours truly,
-Michael Moriarty
Hi Guys,
After a temporary hiatus, I would like to join the game once more. I've
made my lists and checked them twice. Let me know when your ready.
Thanks-a-bunch.
-Christine Saraullo
What a great concept! Keep it alive (so to speak). Please come back from the
dead. Please let me know when the next pool starts. By the way Bud Selig is
dead...he just doesn't know it yet. Thank you!
-Drew Orye
Dear Commish:
In the words of Bill Clinton - "I feel your pain." I too learned that
presiding over a roto pool is one of the most thankless
jobs ever created, along with property management. No one appreciates the
work and that you do for them, and they always want more, more, more, faster,
faster, faster, and make up their own rules as they go along. They openly
and frequently question your integrity when you happen to lead or win, and
when someone else makes a better pick than they do, you conspired against
them to do so. And when it comes to money they never have it when they say
they will, but you'd better pay off immediately when the season is over.
I am a first year player in the Big Lee, having found your site in Jan of
'99 and have followed it since on a regular basis. I actually lead the pool
for a few hours between the deaths of Landry and Schulz this spring. The
professionals have since assumed command, and I 'm afraid are running the
asylum. I'm not entered to win money, I just wanted to play the game and
have more reason to follow the parade of death than just for the jokes. If
I win any money its going to charity.
The thing that drew me to this pool / website is your sense of humor and
ability to make me laugh out loud at your
musings on life, the rules, and your supreme peerless talents for dissing of
the famous, near famous, and slugs I've never heard of till they show up
recently dead.
Now that I've attempted to qualify myself and pay you a compliment, I hope
that you will not give in to the douche bags that are trying to ruin this
thing for all of us. I'm sure that you will come out of this with your sense
of humor intact. Hopefully the challenges presented by sharing it with us
through this pool/site will be conquered.
I am theorizing that the whole mess over who is famous and the list, the
ineligible entries, the ensuing whining, the
high maintenance of the website and its high maintenance whiners.
I don't know what can I do to help, but here are a few suggestions: Drop
the Jr. pools and go with one annual Big Lee.
Let those other clowns run their own Jr. pools. I think the famous list is a
good idea, but your transition to put it into play pissed off a lot of
players, and the ruling off of not famous people by the panel, led people to
question the integrity of the game. By ruling on fame by say 12/25 or
12/26, players could make alternate selections for their list. Segregate
the places for write in candidates to the bottom half of the list. 10 is a
nice round number, so is 12. Call it the dirty dozen. Lucky 13 could be an
alternate. Some deadbeat (pun intended) is going to nail a perfect 10 one of
these pools and it needs to be harder than that. Limit the number of write
ins. Put really popular choices in a separate category and limit their
inclusion and/or placement on one's list. Expand the famous list. Anyone
previously entered on anyone's list is automatically on the famous list.
They'll die eventually. O.K., enough. I didn't say they were good
suggestions.
I support your rules and the underlying reasons given for implementing them.
Last years changes seemed to be too abrupt for players to handle. I don't
think they took you seriously. You probably underestimated how many
assholes there are our there and to what lengths they will go to make your
life miserable. Hopefully some further changes can be implemented in time
to salvage the 2001 Big Lee.
Last Ditch Effort
-Tom H
P.S. That Bill Frisell CD smokes!!! Try Warren Zevon, Life'll Kill Ya, but
you're probably on to that one already.
I HAVE A LIST WHEN YOU ASSES GOING TOT DI YOU MOTHERFOCKERS
SUCK MY BIG ONE LOSERS
-Lars Cederlund
play game
johnny carson
andy dick
ex-prez george bush
queen mum
yeltsin
walter cronkite
pope
mayor guiliano
rodney dangerfield
ex-prez gerald ford
-i am scamp k.
ZMan,
Hope life is getting better. Just a few musings. Stiffs.com is the best site on the
web and that has been solid since Jan 98 when I first discovered this place. I have
never had a bad word to say about the daily operations of this website. Whatever
you guys get paid is not enough, let me take you to lunch one day. The message
board is acting strange, the first page takes a long time to load and the features
are scattered, but I like the new scene, it was time for an upgrade. Fucko doesn't
show up enough and the blurb for Alec Guiness was lame, but that's life. I feel
like I'm kinda the cause of this whole stiffs riff. I don't wanna be but I could quite
possibly be the Prophet you mentioned. If I am, email me and let me know why I
have so much pull on people, I could use that in daily life. If not, don't mind me,
I've been drinking. Oh, and the purpose of this silly, discombobulated e-mail is----
I aint got my stiffs-gear yet. When did you send it?
-Gunslinger
zach and greg et al;-
wow, quite a shock to read the news...(altho i had to have pope forward it to
me - guess i didn't take on the mailing list. please try again). tho i completely
sympathize with you guys and support your decision i have to say that it saddens
me greatly. i only hope that it is temporary and that you find the drive to continue
in time for the 2001 LAI. maybe if bob hope dies...playing these other deathpools
feels cheap -the thing that sets you guys apart is your great writing. you are
irreplaceable. i do think it is wise to scale back. i for one could do with 1)lower
prize $(since i never won any, anyway) and 2)less frequent updates of stuff
(cept when someone dies).
i like the redesign-alot easier on the eyes all around. the slowness of the front
page download is offset by the blurbs at the top. good idea.
so anyway here's one vote for coming back in dec with a new big game. either
way thanks for a great game and good luck with your little lives.
-nurseboy
You guys rule!
Please don't hesitate to call with any questions or comments.
-Steve
I would like to write to Richard Simmons and make sure
that he gets the letter personally.
How do I do this?
-marilyn hillman
Digital lampoon
Doesn't seem to be working. Just thought you'd like to be pissed off for
the weekend.
Glad I could help.
-Marilyn
Zach,
Check out
http://cbs.sportsline.com/u/ce/multi/0,1329,2759668_52,00.html
Hmmmm....past cocaine involvement, blacked out while driving, Ambien,
Percocet, Vicodin...tell me, have you ever seen Darryl Strawberry and your
PR director in the same place at the same time?
Just wondering,
-Mafia Actuary
bltah blah blah
yup i cain't spell i will run fo preident
i belive if peopl can accept my gay marrige to the ex chancelor to gingivitis
listerine willaccept my proposal. Hmmm never mind
bye
-Hillbilly Jr.
Please put me on your list for next year. If you run
the pool, I promise not to whine or make up rules.
I would also like feedback on gift-giving. I have your
order page bookmarked. I'm going to order shirts and
hats to give out as Christmas presents, however I have
a dilemma.
Should my grandmother get the shirt, or should I save
it for my Mormon brother in law?
-deathinahole
I wanna join
Don't care about cash, just want bragging rights as "The Person Who Can Smell
a Stiff a Mile Away!"
Yes, I am your kind of person. Let me know when the games begin!
-Jim Smith
Zach, I tried the URL you provided
(http://mynflstore.com/boardgames.html) but get no reply. Is that the
corect address, what is the name of the company?
Thanks
-Allen
ps the game I played for years was Carromolla Golf. Fairways and holes
were painted..
1 Ronald Reagan
2 Keith Richards
3 Holly Jhonson
4 Eddie van Halen
5 Patrick McNee
6 Yasser Arrafat
7 Neil Armstrong
8 the prince of luxemburg
9 Puff daddy
10 Dr Dre
-Roel Kostwinder
Hey, site's a blast! It's gutsy, real, different... and filled with rigor mortis.
-Gene
I have just returned from an extended hospitalization in the country and
was greeted with news that you are abandoning your vocation and
virtually shutting down this operation in its current encarnation.
I am devastated by this news.
For me, the internet is now dead and life itself has lost the meaning
the doctors have worked so many months to restore.
Best regards,
-Henry
We were moved to respond:
Henry-
Cheer up. All is not lost. We haven't yet decided to pull the plug on this
baby, and we might not. We're taking a much needed break from the day-in,
day-out grind of our operation, which was killing us. We may well return
for the 2001 season with renewed vigor and venom aplenty. We'll have to
wait and see.
Get well,
-Zachariah Love, Commissioner
Greg Hicks, Head Bartender
and Drew Scharlatt, Jacuzzi Maintenance
The Lee Atwater Invitational Dead Pool
http://stiffs.com "If you build it, they will die."
P.S. What was wrong with you? Are you famous at all?
I am greatly relieved and feel much better now.
Sadly, I am not famous and my bunion surgery was not life threatening.
Thank you for bringing hope back to my drab existence. The therapy was
not wasted.
Whatever your decision, you have my full support. No doubt, you will
find this vital to your own peace of mind.
Thank you.
-Henry
Hi,
Please let me know when you're back online, providing your games are
eligible for entry by UK residents of course.
If you saw two guys named Hambone and Flippy, which one would you
think liked dolphins the most? I'd say Flippy, wouldn't you? You'd be
wrong, though. It's Hambone.
-Nick Drage
fuck you dumbass
-Blanco Family
you guys are all motherfuckersyou guys are all motherfuckersyou guys are
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[800 lines deleted from original e-mail to save bandwidth]
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-Blanco Family
WHERE DID YOU GUYS GO? YOU HAVE MY MONEY FROM THIS YEARS POOL!
-Cub8424
Hey, you forgot to add Professor Toru Tanaka, a.k.a., Charles Kalani. He
was in movies like The Running Man, Last Action Hero, just to name a few.
Get with it guys,
-DW
I was wondering if you could help me, my mum used to sing this song to my
older brother and sister who are both in their 30's and then sang it to my
sister and I. Unfortunately except from the words we don't know anything
about this song. I did a search for 50's and 60's music and yours was one of
the sites there. I will type the song underneath - any information on this
song is greatly received. Some of the lyrics may be wrong (a word here or
there) but in general it should be ok.
V1 There once was a clockmaker in London Town,
He was a handsome young man of renown,
While fixing the works and repairing the parts,
He rang alarm bells in hundreds of hearts.
Chorus
Singing, pendulum alum ah doodlum alum
ah pendulum ah doodlay,
I'll wind by night and I'll mend them by day.
Ah ha ah ha I'll wind them by night and I'll mend them by day.
V2 That clockfixing romeo sure had a flair,
Girls would surround him with clocks to repair,
While cleaning the works and repairing the parts,
He rang alarm bells in hundreds of hearts.
Chorus
V3 If you've got a girl with a clock on her shelf,
Should the clock break you 'd better fix it yourself,
Don't let her go near any clockfixing guy,
Who roams around with a look in his eye.
Chorus
We are not sure if the last two lines of verse one and verse two are supposed
to be the same, it definitely belongs to one of them.
Thank you for your time.
-Laura
Why did the deaths of Harold Nicholas, Beah Richards and Carl Rowan not make the list?
-Carmen Ross
Richard Farnsworth - Alvin Straight is now Alvin Stiff.
-Joe Gosselin
Please notify us when the game begins for 2001. We're gonna win.
-Harvey Family
Dear Stiffs.com:
You have failed to mention Harold Nicholas, half of the famous
Nicholas Brothers dance team of the 30's, 40's ect.
He passed away July 3rd of this year. I do not know what he died of besides
old age. He was 79 years old. His elder brother Fayard Nicholas is still
alive and well at 85 years old.
Sincerely,
-Patty Ortloff
I heard about you guys on KISW!!!! Looks pretty cool...Thanks
-Megan
I'm a freelancer in LA, interested in your annual shindig. Thought it would
make a great story for one of my regular outlets, Paper, Raygun, Gallery,
etc. What's going on?
Thanks,
-J.
Hi! I think you are confused with David Dukes. David Dukes was an actor, not
the KKK grandwizard, that is David Duke.
Dukes was a very well respected actor in Hollywood.
-Psincali
Hello,
I wanted to download famekills.mp3, but the link is not functional. I
thought you'd appreciate this note. I hope you can fix it soon.
-Jamie
David Dukes
Wrong guy. This one was an actor not the guy in the white sheet.
-Nancy Nyeboer
Hey Dummies..that is David Dukes, the actor...not David Duke the
Asshole..Also, you couldn't list the deth of Harold Nicholas of the Nicholas
brothers????? Super dancers of the 30s and 40s...
-Greg Graves
Richard Farnsworth Blurb Suggestion
"The old Grey Fox, he ain't what he used to be."
-Dem Bones
Richard Farsworth was self-euthanised last week. Look forward to seeing him
on the tote board soon!
-D Lemmer
Hey, you forgot to add Professor Toru Tanaka, a.k.a., Charles Kalani. He
was in movies like The Running Man, Last Action Hero, just to name a few.
He was also in the WWF.
Get with it guys,
-DW
I like your site. But' in order to be funny , you have to get your facts
straight. Actor David Dukes ' was not in the KKK. That was
David Duke ' the former House of Representatives ' from Louisiana.
You can't be glib & stupid , it just doesnt work. Anyway ' i still
enjoy your site.
-John
GOD BLESS AMERICA
-Molly
-----Original Message-----
From: Zachariah Love [mailto:zlove@mediaone.net]
Sent: Thursday, October 26, 2000 10:07 AM
To: Molly Collins
Subject: Re: BlahBlahBlah
Zachariah Love wrote:
> Molly-
>
> We'll let you in on a little secret. We decided to unretire. There will
> be a 2001 Invitational. Not only that, but we're making the fame
> requirement stricter, so there'll be less of those names you've never
> heard and can't pronounce. If you want to find a game that's easier, but
> still has a bunch of entries, there aren't any. We think we're the only
> Dead Pool on the web that has more than 75 players. For a smaller,
> cozier Dead Pool that's still big on quality, we recommend Chalk
> Outlines (http://www.chalkoutlines.com).
>
> Have a great day,
>
> Zachariah Love, Commissioner
> Greg Hicks, Head Bartender
> and Drew Scharlatt, Hair & Make-Up
> The Lee Atwater Invitational Dead Pool
> http://stiffs.com "If you build it, they will die."
>
> Molly Collins wrote:
> >
> > Okay you guys, don't get mad at me, but could you help me find a decent
> > dead
> > pool for next year? I looked around on the web today and the only ones I
> > found were STUPID. They only had 50-100 entries for the whole year.
> > Whats
> > up wit dat? I wouldn't normally bother you for inside information like
> > this
> > but I respect your opinion. If you tell me to honor your memory by
> > retiring
> > along side of you I will, I swear it. It's not like I'm winning this year
> > (or ever), and maybe I could use the better odds of a stupid dead pool
> > anyway. If you can help me, let me know. Thanks dudes.
> > Molly
> >
> > VivaMolly 1
> > VivaMolly 2
> > ViveMolly 3
How About some of that freestuff you keep har'pin about.
-bills
Dr. Love- say it ain't so. I always paid my bill on time. Your site is THE
premier death pool site on the net. Your sickness, and sense of humor are
unsurpassed. I still consider the Sonny Bloch situation one of the triumphs
of my life (pathetic- isn't it?). Do what you have to do- but keep Stiffs
alive!!!!!!
-JonTater44
hEY, if you start giving away crazy amounts of money for guessing who'll
croak, I'd like to be in your cool pool...
let me know if you're coming to your senses for 2001 - I can think of a
number of future stiffs I'd like to include...
: ) r.i.p.
-cankuhn
To whom it may concern,
On the URL of the website you maintain "Stupid trash a go-go 5/98",there
is information regarding a court case which has since been proven false
& dismissed in the interest of justice.
The presence of this information furthur defames the charachter of one
"Thomas Capriola" whom was accused of "animal cruelty" & creating "Crush
videos".Both points were found not guilty upon false statemements.I ask
that you remove any and all text on your site relating to Thomas
Capriola.Inform me when such is accomplished.
Sincerely,
-Richard H. Blair
Hey dickheads...A lot of people cared that Steve Allen died...He deserved a
better send off than what you gave him...
-JCGMC50
Let me know when you have your next Dead Pool contest! What a hilarious
idea!
-Tom Tuerff
Phoenix, AZ
It's always been my pleasure to wish evil upon total strangers, but now
there is a possibility of profit in this?!?!?! sheeeeat, sign me up.
-john
Hot damn, glad you're back although you never left my mind. Hang in there,
or hang somebody in there, it's always nice to see another anarchist pulling
his or her head out of the great wide open.
As unremarkable as the candidates were, how about the history being written
by the stiffs on the networks? Do they know they are dead, or don't they?
Bill still hasn't gotten the idea. He still thinks he had something to do
with it....
These idiots ought to join their rightful place in the historical lexicon
with the other stiffs.... I really thought that Warren Christopher and James
Baker III were gone... that's what I get for waiting for you guys to report
it when you were on sabbatical...
Again, glad you made it back from the underworld to the underbelly....
-LWD
Your obit for Steve Allen was pretty lame. This guy used sarcasm in his humor
long before your ol man could cum. If the internet was around in the late '50s
HE would be running a site a lot like this. You would be honored to dig his
grave..
-Tom Sentowski
Either Thurmond or Helms will die in office, throwing the Senate to the
Democrats
-SURFGZ
Death is once again inevitable!
-Dave Kempler
We were dying to have you back!
-towi
YAY!!! You're UNretiring!!! Blahblahblahblah!!!
P.S. Dudes, you only need one e-mail address for me, Wednesday, a/k/a
She Who Must Be Obeyed...and it's the one above.
Please kill that thar other e-ddress ya got at rarebook or bostbook or
whatever the hell it is.
Thank'ee kindly, Fabsters.
-Wednesday
undefined
Love
-Victoria
xxx
Re: your unretiring.......BLESS YOU!
My nine that are still sucking air are primed and ready to fall. I wish them all
a Happy (last) Holidays.....
-Stooge
'Bout Damned Time!
Glad to have you sickos back...
-GBevensee
THANKS!!!!
I have been so depressed the last few months, thinking that stiff.com would go
the way of petstore.com, priceline.com's gasoline blunder, and Kathy Lee
Gifford. Now, even if the Shrub wins the darn election, I can look forward to
future fun with the swell fun at stiffs.com ...
Eager for a "late run" in 2000; 2001 will be a great year for obits.
Be Well ...
-"A Tribute to Shirley Hempill"
Congratulations upon your un-retirement!
I don't think it made the American press, but John Cleese's mother Muriel
punted the pail this past week at the age of 101- 1899-2000. Might be worth a
blurb.
-Tim Harrod
i like your site,its pretty cool.i heard about it on 106.5 the end
radio station. let me know what you think.
Get Lucky !
-Jazon777
I might be dead myself..I just thought about it....this is a duplication of
effort..oh well...what the hell! Take care or it's the electric
chair! Thanks,
-Drew
What a shame just another imitator of Howard Stern, he has been doing
the same thing for ages. Use your imagination a little better.
Regards,
-Solange
GOD BLESS YOU!! LIGHT THE PIPE, SACRIFICE THE GOAT
AND LET THE PARTY BEGIN ANEW!!!
-Sick Willie
What happened? Your other projects turned out to be shite after all? You
realised you somehow OWED us to continue? Or you just need the dough?
Anyway, I shall now face the new millennium (which, I have been informed,
only starts next year) with much more optimism indeed (much unlike the
people on my future lists, I should assume). Long live stiffs.com!
Kindest regards,
-Yours reborn Christoph
p.S.: There gonna be Lee Juniors, too?
I'm sure you've been notified a dozen times or so, but it was the actor
David Dukes, not the KKK Dragon David Duke that bit the big one... and
while he was waiting to go on stage or something as melodramatic as that,
I'm told.
Can we have a "vigil emeritus" for Bob Hope, please. No one should live as
long as Strom Thurmond...
Sincerely
-Marilyn
i thought missouri gov carnahan croacking was a fair enough swap off for
giving that convicted murderer a stay of execution.denying the victims
families their justice.but they got it any way.guess he wasnt in with god and
the pope as good as he thought. lol
-CRZN66INA56CHEVY
I can't find the link to it. Help me....I'm in 8th place and Hoping on Bob
to come thru and be a team player.
Thanks.
-Legion Of Doom 2000 1
nice email addy! anyway, i know the answer but will bitch
anyway. have hosea williams on my list (theyarealloldorsick).
you ruled not famous. he died. he was martin luther kings
#2 guy. he was shown on cnn last night in one of the top
damn stories as dying! how friggin' famous is that. is
in the ap, upi, reuters...(i know you no longer care). just
wanted to point out that just because a bunch of west coast
liberals like yourself can't recognized fame doesn't mean
he wasn't. shit, he has had cancer for two years! damn!.
by the way, when i can i enter for 2001? lol - keep up the
shitty work guys, i love this!
-Chris
Stiffies:
It didn't make much sense to retool the Front Page while having a
going out of business sale so I held out hope you'd unretire and was
quite pleased that you've decided to profit off us sickos for still
another year.
The next thing I'd like to see die is the Al Gore campaign. What a
whining crybaby! His supporters can't even follow little arrows on their
ballots. Sheesh!
-Bob Hulsey
I have the opportunity to buy a double decker hearse. You guys are the experts.
What the f*ck do you use a double decker hearse for?
I had the idea of offering the grieving insensitive the opportunity of having
their loved ones fly-tipped (not sure about the US English here - basically
dumped in obscure roadside locations to avoid the emotional nonsense a real
funeral attracts). Was a bit p*ssed to see you got the URL first.
You are performing a great service to humanity. Would you like a decal on the
side of my hearse?
For what its' worth I think the queen mother died years ago so is invalid as a
prospective expirer.
You guys appear to be having trouble with elections (no Cantonese inteaded). If
it helps I wouldn't mind standing in as president for a few weeks. I am sure you
are well connected, please pass on my offer to the irrelevant authorities.
Rgds
-Stiffdumper.
glad to hear you gents decided to unretire and have a Lee 2001 ! remember when
ya start getting bogged down....BEER break.
-Steve
Please sirs send me all the important info you have on deaths of celebrities
and deaths to come. Is there a link that lists those nearest to death?
There should be.
Thank you,
-Boss Spike
Ah, now that is more like it!!
Your little ditty on EZ was the DP at it's best!!
-ZZZiman
DUDES! You are THE SHIT! Delighted just doesn't come close to describing
how I feel about your return to the net! Well, not that you ever left, but you know
what I mean. The greatest game on earth continues....and the best site ever still is!
I can smile again....and not feel sad later.....thanks for the memories yet to come.
Oh, and Bush for Prez...I think......or possibly Gore...hell...at this point, I don't
even care!
-Stacey Lay
I was checking out the list of possible dead people for this year and John
Denver was picked one time. Isn't he dead already?
-Robin
All I want is for elton john to die - once that fat little poof fucks off Im happy
-dave williams
OK -- I'm a little slow.....I entered last year, and want to enter again this
year. To get my money, I need to Direct Link on how to begin! Sorry ---
but I am soooo confused? Do I click on the certificates first to order?
Please help! Thanks !
-SWPF29
hemmingway, jr died
-chris ormsby
Add us.
We'll be in for next year -- if we don't get hit by a truck before Dec. 31.
-Andrew Czernek
Famous?
Katie Couric
Matt Lauer
Barry Sanders
I have a need to know about the first two, as I may put them on a hate list.
Barry Sanders....who cares, but he's not on your list.
Later.......
-HC
My parents run a trophy store. I don't know if you give out plaques or
trophies, but their prices are pretty reasonable.
If you would like to a catalogue or price quotes you can call them at
[deleted for privacy]
It seems I have turned everyone there on to the LEE, my dad and I are going
to do a list or 2 (or 3), it truly, in my case has become sick fun for the
entire family, as my sister, mom and cousin may get into the action as
well..
You guys Rock..
band the drum slowly cause its time to bring out your dead..
-Mike
Well, I see you guys are half-alive again. The game is sort of going on, but
F.T. Clown has not responded to anyone since August 22nd. It's not really
stiffs.com until Effo sings again. I told you that you should have let me take
over, but NO-O-O, you wouldn't do it. Tell you what -- send me a hat and I'll
do the PR guy stuff on a trial basis for free for a month. If you like it, then
I'll do it for free until one of us gets tired of it, or until Effo comes back
and vents his usual spleen on us all. Whatcha say??
-Dave Williams
Puyallup, Washington
Greetings to all at Stiffs.com,
Congratulations on a great site.
What I would like to know is... I live in Great Britain so am I still
eligible to submit a deathlist to you, if so, and by some strange chance
that I would win some cash, would I be paid in Dollars or sterling???
Also do I need to make the submitance fee payable in Dollars or English
pounds.
please hurry with a reply...
...regards ...
-Johnny rotten
My email is [deleted for privacy].
I've been enjoying your site for a while, and now I'm ready to plunge in and
try the big game.
I first heard about you on 98 Rock in Baltimore several months back, and
haven't stopped visiting your site since.
-RKirchhaus
G'day from Downunder......
Have been reading your "Stiffs" stuff for many years . . . enjoyed it
heaps -
Smart, creative, sarcastic, etc....
But revisiting recently I see you've now sold-out to the "Smut Brigade...."
The various jumps at the bottom of each page...
Sure - you have to make money...
But the:
Inappropriate "Postcards" and
http://stiffs.com/fucku.html
Have disappointed all of us....
I think the "Stiffs" site is now totally inappropriate . . . . considering
the number of underage people who visit your site....
Viz:
"Hickory dickory dock some bitch was suckin my cock",
You've now gone the usual route of some successful WWW sites who have run
out of creative ideas or suggestions, so you've decided to go down the
rude, crude and become an unattractive moneygrabbing site.... You've just
about (almost) become another objectionable WWW site that I'm no longer
prepared to tell older children about.
"Stiffs.com" has gone from a "G" site to a (R) in my opinion.
Mature Comments welcome - and expected . . . .
Direct please - not on the Forum.... or dickhead Email of the week !!!
Thanks....
-Ken
UGH!!!
after much agony, i filled out my form, went thru all the questions, and then
when i hit "submit", you guys are telling me my card is expired (no pun
intended). it does not expire until may 2002!!
what gives????
why do you hate me???
i want people to die as much as you do.......its NOT FAIR!!!
please advise
:) ps - my nickname was Sad But True
-Kartman862
Please drop me off your dead pool list. It was fun while it lasted.
-Trubledme
hee hee - heres a question that will piss you off.........
is there any way to get another print out of my list? ya see its like
this.........
i had one printed out all nice nice, when all of a sudden my crazy dog grabs
it and....well........the last time i saw any of the list it was in a
steaming heap on the sidewalk. can ya help me out??????
hurry.........people are dying..........
-Kartman862
Please do not send me these ridiculous and immature
emails any more, you people are sick in the head,
trying to bid on people's lives.
-Nicole Virkler
(12/20)
John Lindsay - This Big Appler has lots of worms.
-Joe Gosselin
Enterprise Server Technology
Surprised you haven't listed Kirsty McColl yet; I
think this might be a good one for her:
Happy Christmas her arse
Thanks to a speedboat, her last
I think "Fairytale of New York" is one of the best
bitter Christmas songs ever, and she should've
been a bigger star in the US. Such a shame.
-Mark Przybyszewski
Please delete me from your list until Robert Downey Jr OD's..his 9 lives are
WAY up!
Thanks,
-T
Hey there..I haven't checked my list in quite a while because the bastards
I picked haven't had the decency to die..but checking it right now, I only
see ONE of my THREE entries posted. I paid the special price that allowed
me 3 entries and all 3 used to be here. My Main list is under Danszaman
and one of my others is (from my memory only) Dan Does Death. I can't
remember the 3rd name but I went down the list and didn't find anything
that looked familiar. Mind you, I'm not too worried about it since I know
none of them were in the running for anything, but I want to play again
this year so I want to be assured my lists are hanging around your place
somewhere! Please let me know if I'm correct, or merely senile.
Thanks
-Dan Woolard
danszaman
dan does death
???
Like the address-
In your This Year's Death's Department, you missed
Jeff MacNeally(sic-probably)who drew the cartoon
strip Shoe, which seems to go on without him, as
well as Op-Ed Cartoons as well. He won a co
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